Saturday, 29 July 2017

Magic Beans

What Ho peep. What you doing?

Gardening huh?

I see, and you think the sink is the best place to do the gardening?

Yup, well I can see the similarity between the sinks and the flower pots, that are the preferred vessel for plants, but......

Watercress you say? Well, granted they need running water, but I hardly think our sink is the best place, do you?

Why not try bathroom No. 4, that's free. I had a long term let to a family of otters, but they decided to emigrate to Canada, better working conditions and the like.

Hang on a mo..... surely you need to have something to garden and a skill, like an -ology, before you can garden? Sort of stands to reason that gardening requires both a garden and an ING to make it work.

Do we have an ING by the way?

And if not why not!?

I mean we have an ER, that's the peep that does the garden, so I think surely we must have an ING that you could borrow, or something lying about that's like an ING but for beginners. Like an IN' maybe?

There must be such things for the novice plant assassin such as yourself. I mean we must face facts that your record on killing plant life is pretty much up there with a hoard of snails slugs and locust combined.

Anyways, if we need an ING or an IN' then we better send out for one ASAP.

Hold that thought, there's a couple of shops in the village that may well have an IN's for sale, they're the ones with the car parks too. Yup I saw it last week as I was ankling down to the opening of the new Cream Bar in the village, called The Creme de Nipth. Very cosmopolitan I must say, and all the right sort of crowd too, bright young things, like me.

Great decor, and the most exquisitely delish' free Mouse Entrees, for the guests that is, not the mice.

Yes, now if only that lovely lad, Valentine could have seen me. It would have been right up his avenue, and with that new stroller of his he could have arrived in style, parked up at the shop that sells OUT's and not had to worry about getting the paws or fur wet. He could have given me a lift and escorted me in too.

Ah well, maybe if Blog Paws comes to the UK we can share an evening out on the tiles. I could show him all the stars and the hedges and roofs and best mousing practices.

It pays for an aspiring country gentlecat to know the form, as it were, the rights and wrongs and leftovers of polite society.

Anyways, Tally Ho and all that, peep. Head on off and get yourself an IN' before you they sell out.

Oh and don't accept anything less than an IN', no matter how cheap. I know it's temping to think an IT might be just as good, but just think back to when you got lumbered with that second hand IT! Those ex IT's are nothing but problems in the long run and we'll be back to square one!

****** Some time later...... ******


What Ho, peep. What you doing now?

Yup, I can see you have an apron on, and I hope given the moratorium on you and cooking and using sharp objects, you were not planning on making ready meals again? I mean, when they said pierce the film lid on that meal, they really didn't mean using the handle end of the knife!

Uh huh, really? You mean that you have to wear that when you garden?  Really? It's what they all use, you say? Well give me a twirl and lets see what you wasted our money on this time!

At least you didn't get a bag of magic nip seeds again. After the last time I really should have gone myself. Do you realise that I still haven't managed to get rid of that nip plant from the side of the North tower!

Yup, it's a hardy variety I'll give it that, and at this rate by Christmas you'll be able to climb to the top and get to the North Pole. Sadly it ain't Nip, though on the plus side I won't be short of beans for the foreseeable!

Never send a peep to do a cats work I say. You'll never catch me trading a pot of premium 'Triple C' for a bag of magic seeds. I mean Canadian Cheese and Cream dip is worth far more.... at least a five bags of seeds...... and some tasty chickens...... and my own private jet to get me around the globe, I could even call in on Valentine!

OK, give up already with the twirling, there's dervishes out there going dizzy!

Hmm, nice pockets, do you have an IN' in one of those, perchance?

Whats that ol' bean? No IN's in stock you say. Well that's a bit much. What about the other shop next door, the foreign sounding one? They had a sign up saying INN, that's German, I do believe, for IN'.

What's that? the shops shut, you say? Really! Well I never, that is terrible. A piece of tradition, a  country pub destroyed for some no good fast food joint, I bet.

A curried mouse takeaway no doubt, catering for a society on the rocks, not caring about where food comes from, it's taste or the cost to life or limb.... or tail.

I really do need to get on to the Palace and Village Traditional Values Committee and complain.

OK peeps, if you will get dressed, well more than just an apron, and start taking dictation. We'll send it to the highest court in the land. Apparently they only sit in session every other month on account of getting Sherpas to get them to the top of Ben Nevis!

So, whats the name of this palace of innocuous culinary generality, gastronomic mediocrity and taste bud numbingness, huh?

Whats that you say, It's The Creme de Nipth......

Ahh......

Oh......

Umm......

Oh THAT restaurant. I thought you'd got confused with the milliners next door! I'm mean hats were never really your strong point were they, just look at the saucepan incident after the last Christmas party!

Well of course there has to be flexibility in local planning. After all we need to have new restaurants open up, and classical cuisine should always be allowed to flourish. Raises the tone of the area too, and encourages the 'right sort'.

And as I said, or was going to say, well certainly thought, had it occurred to me, that sometimes the old should give way to the new, to allow fresh talent to blossom, to bloom where once stood a tired relic of a by gone era. Forgotten by its patrons and left to rack and ruin.

Whats that peep, early closing Wednesday you say?

Ah well that's not the point, and it's not as though we haven't got plenty of pubs in the surrounding two hundred mile radius. Easily within reach for anybody in need of that sort of fare. What's a bus, train and a taxi ride these days.

OK so you may not be able to get them all when you need them, on the same day, but if the inclination is there people will make the effort to support their local hostelry.

Anyways, on the subject of blossoming cuisine, I believe the cook wants the sink back to grow a salad for next weeks lunches, and needs some beans too! So if later you'll swing your ING, or IN', back into gear I believe I did see some beans that had made their way to the guttering on the North tower roof, third window to the right.

Today however I thought you could treat me to a meal at The Creme de Nipth, as a treat for something yet to be done.

Oh and bring some of that Magic Nip Spice I got last week, from the travelling Magic Nip Spice Company saleslady. Apparently if you sprinkle it on you can add an extra six inches to your height. Short term effect, of course, but just right for social events.

All you have to do is sprinkle it on, let it sink in, and then shake. Then to make the magic work, you just have to do hold your head up high and hey presto, growth ensues!

The saleslady assures me that the residue that comes off is useful around the Palace for gritting paths and the like. Or you can recycle it. As this is a very ethical company, and the product is very popular across the globe, recycling is a high priority.

Yup, she even showed me pictures of the designated recycling areas, all along the cost where the used powder is deposited and then washed by the natural action of the sea, ready to be re-infused with the magical blend of nip and spice.

Now I know what you're thinking, and believe me when I say, YES, it was a bargain at £100 ($130). But they can't fool me, no ma'am, and there's always a margin in these things so I managed to beat her down on the price and got it at £50. So I got two!

Let this be a lesson to you ol' fruit, there's no pulling a fast one on this Princess!

Now if you'll get a dustpan, I'll need you to do a bit of sprinkling and recycling......



                                                   ~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~





It's Sunday Selfie time!





Please join me now as we enter the Sunday Selfies hosted by the fantastic 


Kitties Blue: XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, and Cooper Murphy, from The Cat on My Head blog 



The Sunday selfies is a wonderful weekly celebration of blogs and bloggers from across the world, and shares stories and pictures for others to enjoy. 


Why not join the fun, by adding the code from our hosts, (a link is on their page) and posting your own selfie. 


It really is that easy. 


This weeks selfie was taken during my duvets annual service. 


It is so very important that any pockets of air trapped within are dispersed evenly throughout. 


Of course this takes a lot of training, and the only sure way to find them is to listen very carefully, sometimes for hours, then gently tease them with your paw..... 



To see what all our pals have been up to this week, please click the links/images below, and enjoy the HOP!








61 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, I loves to check out my duvet between naps!
      ERin

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  2. That was a bargin....maybe your peep need to invest in a nice Stroller for you?xx Speedy

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    Replies
    1. Oooh mow thats a thought, though the thought of peeps driving makes me think walking would be safer. MOL
      ERin

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  3. I could shure go for some creme de nip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I shall see if they do a 'Cat bag' to take away.... though I can't guarantee it will make it home to be posted back to you!
      Purrs, ERin

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  4. Oh, my. That was quite a tail...tale...but, a very good one! I love stories. Thank you for sharing. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed a humble tale of everyday peeps and Princess. MOL
      ERin

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  5. Oh this is brilliant! I could most see this as a two parter story!

    Thank you for a Sunday smile!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, like Star Trek 'The Journey Home', but with not so much of a journey and loads of nip! I shall see how the meal goes and if the peep is in a fit state to take dictation. MOL
      ERin

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  6. Sounds like you got quite a, uh, deal there, Princess. Nice selfie too! :)

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    Replies
    1. You just gotta grab these deals when they come around, for sure. Can I interest you in some yourself? £60 a bottle and you get to grit your paths afterwards too!
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  7. I think gardening is a good thing if nip is involved! Looking good Princess!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Brian, you are a true gentlecat. Now, can I put you down for some Magic Nip Spice at all, or some nip as I have a few seedlings sprouting from the peeps apron.....
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  8. As a treat for something yet to be done? I didn't know that's how things worked! I better not tell my cats that. And the Creme de Nipth sounds like a great place. I wonder if they'll open one in the U.S.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, I always prefer my treats up front, just in case we run out and I don't get any!
      Well, if you want to come along, I'm sure you'll fit right in. There is a height rule though, so if you need an extra few inches, I have just the Magic stuff, only £60 a bottle!
      Purrrs.
      ERin

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  9. Those are great selfies. We would like to find crepe de nip too.
    Raja and Zoe from PlayingInCatnip.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Duvet servicing is a tiring job, but the years of training are worth it! I shall ask next time i'm in if they will be opening in the USA. If not you are welcome to come by for a complimentary glass... on the peep of course!
      Purrrs.
      ERin

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  10. Hey, I'm a novice plant assassin too! I once bought a chocolate mint plant on Mother's Day that was dead by Father's Day ;)

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    Replies
    1. We need to start a club for you guys. I can recommend plastic plants to practice on, way more resilient, but would steer away from plastic grass because, as peep discovered last week, to CANT be mowed! Who knew?
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  11. You got a great deal on your magic nip spice, buy one get one free. That's a great selfie, too.

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    Replies
    1. Pays to haggle, and theres always a margin. I learnt it from our Kraken, who has many tentacles in may pots, as it were and can squeeze a good deal out of anyone. MOL
      ERin

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  12. Aaaaaaaaaaw ERin, ya' look so serene lyin' there on dat duvet. And you look so purretty with dat bootyful flower. Our mommy thinks da sink is a great place fur gardenin' too. Altho' fankfully, she doesn't do much of it these days. MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. Hi all. Thank you, I do love flowers especially the sort that bumble bees and butterflies attached. MOL
      I have got peep to use window boxes instead of the sink, and they work really well.... though at some point I will need to have the window open!
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  13. We hope that garden has some nip in it. That's a nice sleepy selfie, Erin. Now we want to take a nap, too.

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    1. Not yet but soon will be. I bought some magic nip seeds and planted them and they've come up! OK so they are only teeny tiny but by Christmas I could be rolling in it! Oooh well if you're having a nap I better follow suit.
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  14. There are magic nip seeds? And magic nip spice? And a store just for sellin' magical nip? And... MOUSES!!!

    Where have I been all my life? Why did I not know this? WHY? MOUSES!!!

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes, I never would have guessed if the lady hadn't come round and showed me. Sorry I can't give you her details though, as she seems to have disappeared. But you'll recognise her as she has quite a strange chuckle and a strange motto "One born every minute" which she said relates to the nip seeds she sows.
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  15. I love your selfie Erin, you are so pretty. I want to take you shopping with me, you sure know how to bargain. XO

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    1. Oooh I'd love that. My own personal shopper.... Shall we say one o'clock I'll bring the nip nanna, if you drive?
      ERin

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  16. You take the most beautimous selfies, Erin!!
    xoxo
    Jakey & Arty

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I tries my best to combine educational images with my selfies, and the key to looking good is definitely to find a good sun puddle and plenty of personal grooming.
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  17. Nothing wrong with gardening, as long as it's nip, Erin!

    Love your selfie, pretty Princess!

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    Replies
    1. Oh boy it is the only thing to grow, well that and cream. Our nip seeds are showing their heads through the compost as we speak so I think Christmas will be good this year.....
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  18. Yes, it would be great if Blog Paws comes to the UK :)

    Your selfie is so sweet!

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, sleeping on a perfect wool duvet is a labour of love... and lots of naps. MOL
      ERin

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  19. Mew mew mew ERin yur inn-credibull...you know so-o many fingss!! what a wsie an beeuteefull kitty gurl you are! Mee finkss our Mumma'ss mite bee ree-lated! LadyMum iss not good at gardenin (no matter what shee wearss...) Mumma Mary-Ellen (where mee came frum at thee farm) iss a toe-tall gardener...mee mite pay her with mee treet allowance next Spring to give LadyMum a 'paw'! ;)
    Yur Selfie with thee yell-oh flower iss breathtakin.....an yur due-vey selfie iss dreamy all so.
    ***nose rubsss*** Siddhartha Henry xXx

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    Replies
    1. Oooh, you say the nicest of things, Prince Siddhartha Henry, and I does try my best, to look good for you all. Hmm surely there can't be too many peeps out there that are that hopeless at gardening? I on the other hand am really quite good.... in fact I can grow anything, so long as I ask the gardener nicely! MOL
      ERin

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  20. ERin; yur lookin gorgeouz in all yur fotoz thiz week, N may we say yur gardin IZ awesum ~~~~~~ oh, N round heer, de sink iz good for one thing onlee bee sidez napz N faucett drinkin...fish storage !! ☺☺♥♥

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    Replies
    1. Thanks everyone, I appreciate you saying that as it takes dedication and hours of napping to get that perfect shot.... OR I just put the camera on auto and get on with it. MOL
      Fish in the sink you say, wow that is a great plan... do they need much compost to make them grow?
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  21. Hey if you want some Canadian Cheese and Cream dip come give us a visit gorgeous Erin!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if you're offering I'll be along posts haste! Cant let it go off now, can I?
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  22. Erin, you get cuter and cuter every week. What a sweet selfie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thank you. Duvet time and selfies go together in this Palace.... Not that I sleep a lot. MOL
      ERin

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  23. The human over here has something like a black thumb, Erin. There certainly is no ER for our garden, and so the poor nip doesn't stand a chance. It's quite devastating.

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    1. Aww. That is tragedy itself, about the nip the is. I'll have to send you some of ours. Rumour has it once it starts growing you just can't get rid of the stuff.... I shall conduct rigorous trials in search of the truth of that. MOL
      ERin

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  24. You have the hots for Valentine?!?! You'd make a gorgeous, color-coordinated couple! I don't know why ... but after reading this post I couldn't get the imagine of your Peep in a Little Bo Peep costume out of my head. I think it says far more about me than it does him :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now it would be wrong of me to say, but he is such a sweet gentlecat, so polite, and fluffy too. And he has his own transport, a chauffeur and nearby vineyards. Not that I am swayed by such things. I'm not sure if he has a white coat and clipboard, like Maxwell. Hmm, interesting thought, maybe thats why we no longer have any sheep.... mind you the Kraken has one of those outfits......
      Purrrs
      ERin

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    2. YOUR KRAKEN DRESSES UP!?!?! Though I suppose you only get one chance to make a first impression ... even if it turns out to be moot since, you know, the Kraken will soon eat them ;) Thank you for linking up to the Showcase!

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  25. Oh Erin! You do make me laugh! We have some premium catnip grown righ down the highway its called BC Buddy Hermal Bendz (it used to be called BC Budz, but a marijuana company actally owns that name...) Every cat I've ever met LOVES the stuff. As a matter of fact, the local pet stores are usually sold out. If your peep grew that...you would have to get a guard dog to stop the neighbor cats from stealing it!
    Now I won't interrupt your duvet testing and I shall let you get back to work.
    Love Barb

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    Replies
    1. Hi Barb. That nip of yours clearly the bees knees. Shame we don't have such plantations here.... Anyways what we do have is loads of cream cows, so if we could mix the two I would be in high heaven, and probably incredibly fat too. MOL
      ERin

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  26. I agree with the Trout Tabbies. You are looking magnificent! As for growing anything...my mom excels in weeds, but forget about fresh nip, etc. So not gonna happen...especially in this heat. Dad planted basil in front yard (not Bionic Basil) and after it grew it died cuz mom just ignored it. Sorry to say, I would have enjoyed fresh basil sprinkled over my chicken pate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, a daily hard working schedule, and naps does the trick, oh and moisturising cream too.... well cream has moisture in it. MOL
      Imagine if we could grow our own pals, in pots, it could save a fortune in airfare! Hmm maybe stick with the artificial plants, or cacti?
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  27. Hmmm...we could sure use some of that magic nip spice for our gardens! Our beans have not grown as high as towers, and they need help!
    Jan & the crew at Wag n Woof Pets

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    Replies
    1. If I see that travelling saleslady around I shall send her your way. You might even get a discount for the referral, she did say I was one of her biggest clients, or something like that.
      Purrrs
      ERin
      PS she says she'll be around this way again nearer Christmas...

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  28. Mom could you some of the magic nip as she'd like to add a few inches to her short frame. Tee hee hee. Erin luv, next time you want to visit the The Creme de Nipth let me know and I will have my driver pick you up and take us there. I will make sure and bring a light blanket to cover your shoulders in case it is a cool day. We can have a spot of cream and those wonderful sounding mouse entrees you mentiond. Nom nom. Then afterwards I would like just to sit next to you in the stroller and listen to the sound of your princess voice. Purrs. -Valentine (& Mom) of Noir Kitty Mews

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    Replies
    1. Oooh, so galant, so charming. How could a lady resist the offer of a shawl for a cool evening drive with a handsome gentlecat..... I will have my peep deliver a secret missive when next I venture out... that way no one, not even the paparazzi will bother us.... Do you have a tinted visor on your stroller?
      Purrs and paw kisses
      ERin TCP Princess of Mouses
      Bachelorette of the Order of the Cream (pending)

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  29. ooooh, a BOGO on the nip spice? And magic stuff to boot? COOLIO!

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    Replies
    1. I can do you a good deal if you wish, just say the word and an extra 6 inches could be yours. If you just want half a pack, thats fine but you only get 3 inches for that.
      Purrrs
      ERin

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  30. I can understand your concern about using the sink for gardening. In our house, the sink is for drinking. How could the kitties enjoy a nice long drink from running water with plants in the way!?

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    Replies
    1. I agree it's silly especially when we have so many bath rooms and sinks that could be used. All bar No.4 which is being used as a hydroponics unit for my new nip trials.
      Purrrs
      ERin

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