Wednesday, 12 August 2015

In the News


   The week began with peeps father peep desperately ill in hospital after a fall in his care home left him with three cracked ribs and bruised lungs. Thinking this was all, the prognosis was good. Unbeknownst to father peeps doctors, he had developed sepsis which had caused things to worsen very quickly. Two long days or forty eight very long hours later, father peep with the aid of many medicines made it off the critical list, but is currently with his dementia, sadly still lost in the woods. Peep has understandably been rather tense of late and has been taking stock of things, of life and the value we place on life as well as objects and the living.

   OK, you may well ask, what's this to do with you, meaning me, or indeed me meaning you, possibly both, Mouses! Well, part of the responsibilities for being Princess and managing the estate is that I entertain. Now I'm sure you folks have done the same, bring a few friends round for dinner, sort of oil the cogs of industry, keep the locals in line, that sort of thing. Well recently peep has sort of been vetting my guests, and in some cases libera....sending them off home without anything to eat. He says it's wrong and as he's here he can act to save them from my cooking, well at least having their goose cooked.....hmm, I hadn't actually intended to do much cooking, that's what us cats have peeps' for isn't it? purrs

   Anyways, it all seemed to come to a head last week when, having brought home a mouse, sparrow and a blackbird (the latter was I swear part of the orchestra booked for that evening's meal) peep after much gusto puffing and tripping, managed to catch them and showed them the door (and two windows), citing that we should be preserving life on the planet and we were all part of one big family and balanced ecosystem that needs to be, well, balanced, and the things we do here can save others elsewhere. Mouses! to think all my running around here in the UK chasing things could be keeping peeps awake in Africa, who knew? Hmm, maybe I should nap more, huh. Anyways, I apparently need to play my part like the rest of society, and peep says the bottom line (not my bottom I hasten to add) is no more guests, of any description, and no more late night snacks or furry freebies. Aww Mouses! I think I've just been grounded.

   Well...Hmm...what to do? Not one for sitting around moping, I have been doing my duties, well as best I can.  I've been growling at mice, sneezing at spiders to make them move quicker and pulled faces at a few moths that came my way. A good morning's work for sure, and definitely eco-friendly, but not really satisfying. Worse of all I haven't anything to write about, a proverbial no news week....Aha! eureka! sorry not the smell, that's from the old socks peeps trying to frighten snails away with, no I can write about the news, to be precise peeps news, after all I need inspiration for my new harmonious living and eco-friendly lifestyle, where better than the daily peep paper. purrs

   I do try and sit.....sorry, try to sift the paper every day. Peep often has it open at the Sudoku page, which is next to the weather and sports pages, which seem dominated by forecasts of rain and soccer or indeed soccer called off because of rain! I'm not a great lover of soccer, imagine a load of grown peeps chasing a small ball around for pleasure, I ask you, never catch cats doing that. Mouses!

   In fact some of them get paid to do it, millions in fact, enough it seems that they could single handed pay for the school education, clean water and electrical supplies for hundreds of children and families in many of the very poor countries of the world and still have change for a more bags of Nip, pots of cream (double) and blocks of Best Canadian Mature Cheddar than you can shout MOUSES! at. And from what I saw in a TV shop window, they also have to be good at pushing, tripping and falling over, as well as a modicum of acting skill. OK, maybe a modicum was overstating it, if you now what I mean!

  Checking Fridays paper, I noted an interesting article about bees. Not the letter B, the only interesting things about the letter B are Butterflies and Beds....and of course Bees! which does rather lead me to the article about the busy little chaps themselves. Now it seems that there is a particular crop in the UK called oil seed rape, which is at risk of being eaten by a pest known as a cabbage stem flea beetle. Now notwithstanding all the scientific evidence and advice from around the world, and heck the world you would think would hold some influence in these things, the peeps here are planning on killing these fleas using a spray called a neonicotinoid. This spray will go over seventy-two thousand acres of crops for a period of four months. Whilst this is great news for the farmers who will make money off the crop, the bees and other insects that pollinate in the area will be subject to life threatening chemical attacks on their nervous systems. Strangely there seems to have been more uproar among the farmers of the remaining 95% of the oil seed crop who wont be allowed to kill the fleas (and therefore wont make as much money) than there has been from the general population.

   Now I don't know about you, but I rather like our furry little bee friends, and not just for playing tag with, for without them there would be, no pollination which would mean no crops. No crops would mean no feed for those nice cows, and no cows would mean no cheese or cream. Mouses! a crisis in deed, and that's not just for me, as clearly no crops will mean no feed for peeps either. Strange, I cant see anything about that in the paper? maybe that's a no news story?

   Now it seems about the same time as I was reading this article, my peep was out having a gentle ride on his horse. A very sound (but slow) eco-friendly means of transport for sure, unless of course you factor in the gallon of fuel it took to drive to see him to take him on the ride in the first place.

   Anyways, whilst he was out he came across a bee on the road. OK given it was a 'B' category country road the bee probably thought she could, who knows, but the bee was walking, and that's a fact, and from what peep said wasn't really in the mood for discussing highway classification. Now peep thought this may have been on account of having just either been stunned by a passing car or having had a drop too much pollen or both! Thankfully I think cases of bees being charged with being drunk in charge of a set of wings seldom come to court, so I think she'd have been all right, and probably just got a warning. purrs

   Peep being peep, and conscious of the nature of things, leapt from his steed and saved the said bee from being run over as it crossed the road, and duly deposited it on a patch of clover. Now whilst this was a great help for the bee, unless of course it was the wrong side of the road, it apparently did nothing for peeps back as he couldn't remount his horse on account of him being so tall, the horse that is, not peep.  Fortunately after a short walk a gate came to the rescue and after much positioning and moaning peep was able to mount and head off home, comforted by a good deed done.

   Elsewhere this week I noted that peeps were being deprived of a new and life saving breast cancer tablet on the basis of cost. Not that it was too expensive, no ma'am it was far too cheap, 5 pennies cheap in fact, and those nice people that invented it couldn't make enough money, so folks will have to wait for a dearer and no doubt better tablet to come along.

   I shall leave you with some breaking news:- Today here in the UK its the "Glorious 12th"! OK so being the 12th of August isn't in itself glorious, nor has the weather been unseasonable and NOT rained, no its on account of today being the day when some peeps can shoot grouse, a lot of grouse. Yep, some peeps in UK pay lots and lots of money to go and shoot lots and lots of grouse, last year in fact they shot approximately 70,000 of the little guys, all for money...oops sorry!.... all for regional employment and enrichment of the environment, in fact up to '£33,000 for the day' worth of enrichment! And here's me doing it purely as its my base instinct and to supplement my tea! surprising how changing a few words can make things OK.....

Hmm..... I'm just off to enrich the environment, but only in my dreams of course. Grouses!





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