Well so far this month things have been OK. We had a great meeting of N.U.T.S. and the vibe is that we have got things covered.... at least so far as our own Palaces are concerned. I have some doubts about young Nutts, my squirrel pal (and his info) as my pals on the blog say never trust a squirrel called Nutts, even with two T's!
This festive celebration of Peace and Goodwill to All seems to be gathering pace and more and more of the outlying homes seem to be gearing up for things with ever more spangly lights appearing in windows. Even the trees have sprouted lights, no doubt to help the birds see their feeders...
This does raise concerns over increased risk of invasion by this red clad fiend Mr Claws or his pal Mr Cringle, but NUTS is ready to pounce, as every good Princess should be if called upon, and I have my best cute smile and claws on standby, just in case.
PS I have discovered mince meat pies DON'T contain meat, only old grapes and something call Sue T. I am emailing Miss Description as we speak. Till a reply is forthcoming I would advocate only licking the cream off the top. E
Entry for December 25th 2015
You'll NEVER believe what happened last night, and what I found out! It all started on just before midnight.....
*******wave lines and backwards travelling in time*******
"It was the night before Christmas and all through the
OK what else does it say in these instructions...
"Stockings were hung by the chimney".......Mouses! that's one mighty big fire hazard, and as chief fire warden in this here Palace I can say without any shadow of a doubt we do not hang stockings, nylons or anything sock like in appearance anywhere except in the laundry room. Absolutely guaranteed, ever since I discovered a mouse and several spiders taking up permanent lodgings in some under peeps bed. I put my foot down on that for sure, and in any case I couldn't have my new hideaway and emergency pantry smelling could I. purrs
Whats next... "
OK, that seems to be it on these old instructions I found about managing a night before Christmas, I think the rest seem to be pretty archaic. Talks about visions of dancing sugar plums in their heads. Mouses! they must have been nipped up for sure in those olden days.
Heck they used to have wild beast with antlers clambering all over the roofs. Its a miracle nobody slipped and broke the leg. And if they think that this Princess will be out inspecting the battlements and ramparts at this time of night in this day and age they have another thing coming, smacky paw I think.
Anyways, at least they didn't have Mr Claws and Mr Cringle invading their homes, though clearly they did have good visitors, a peep called Nicholas apparently visited peeps that had been good, a real saint it says here. purrs
Ho hum, I think I will enjoy a last na... er... patrol of the fire side rug to check its flame retardency rating, and then turn in. Nearly midnight and I think.......
*****muffled thud, clattering sound of hooves and mild (this is a family blog after all) cursing*****
What the heck! by jimny were under attack!! best call NUTS..... Hang on I AM NUTS, er... well I'm not actually "NUTS" or NUTTS just the chief.... well you all know what I mean....
Now where's that list of things to do... here we go...
1) Grab passport and plane tickets.
2) Grab supplies of Nip.
3) Grab supply of Long Life Cream.
4) Fill suitcase with fresh biscuits & copy of What Mouse & Mouse Hole magazine.
5) Suntan lotion.
Hmm... I think maybe this ISN'T my emergency plan but next years holiday list. purrs
Oh well, I'll just wing it as the sparrows say.... Right dowse the lights and take up attack positions behind that there pile of logs, with clear line of flight to the front door and drawbridge beyond.
Hmm... that's strange, the fires gone out.... bang goes my quiet night, best get peep up to light it again...
Anyways here goes......
******Further cursing clanking coughing and a cacophony of hooves******
Strange, that's coming from the wood burner, I thought these guys came through the door! Best go and check....
Well I'll be, there's a face in the wood burner, yep definitely a face with a rather sooty beard. Well one thing for sure that chimney won't need cleaning for a bit. Mouses
***** Muffled 'LET ME OUT'......ERIN, LET ME OUT!' *****
Well, I never expected that.... Best let the little guy out, cant let him sit there, not if I want that fire back on, and those coals must smart a bit too, could explain the red glow on his cheeks!
I gotta admit that I thought I'd be calling Fire & Rescue services to get the guy out, but it only took a flick of the paw to open the door and 'hey presto' like a genie out of a lamp he just popped out. Must have been those coals. Mouses!
'Well Erin my lass, thanks for getting me out of that... er... jam. These modern stoves are a nightmare, I should have know by the shape of the chimney I'd have problems getting out. But you should have left the door open for me, just a bit and those coals smart something terrible. You cant imagine the... er... cream I get through, not to mention the number of new suits I need and...'
"Erm, excuse me. Sorry to interrupt, but can you explain who you are and how you managed to get into my stove, not to mention how you got down my chimney, in fact now I think of it, how did you get on the roof with all the solar panels, gargoyles and such like?'
Being a diplomatic Princess, I avoided the obvious questions as to how someone his size even attempted to squeeze into a flue, and why he'd chosen red which shows all the soot, for sure.
'Well Erin, firstly seems introductions are in order. My name, and before you say Mr Claws/Mr Cringle, is many things, but not a plump guy with bad dress sense who definitely shouldn't have worn red down a chimney as it shows the soot, as SOME may think'.
"Er... um... whoever would think a thing like that? OK, sorry I did, but you DO wear it so well, and I'm sure I read, pardon the pun, that red with black spots is in this year. purrs"
And with that my guest just winked at me, and with a shake of his tummy and a tug on his beard all the soot vanished and his beard sprung back into a lovely neat clean mass. In fact, it reminded me of a nice warm duvet I had to inspect.
'Sorry, where was Erin? Ah yes. My name is St Nicholas though around the world I have many names, but when it comes to it Santa will do just fine. Now to business....whats this I hear about you and NUTS and an invasion, not to mention getting my helpers arrested?'
"Well, a squirrel told me tha..."
'OH MY WORD! Never listen to a squirrel, especially that Nutts lad. Nice boy, the shells there but the kernel's a bit withered, gets a bit confused shall I say. Plus those squirrels have a real thing about Christmas and peeps eating all those nuts of theirs. Drives them crazy actually, "crazier than squirrel making nut pies kind of crazy" in fact. Hmm, must thank your friend Seville, in Canada, for that saying when I visit him later tonight, very appropriate....'
"You know Seville?"
"My pal Seville?"
"Seville in Canada, the famous blogger and all round Gentlecat?"
"Inventor of Whisk Time Travel Technology, patented throughout the world and in ALL the nine cat kingdoms?"
'Absolutely! and before you ask the next 3 questions the answer is Yup, Yup, & Absolutely, but not 24 biff bags, not unless he promises not to climb the tree!'
"WOW! how'd you do that? Is it some Jedi skill... or do you use distilled essence of mature Cheddar?"
'Ah well that's another story, as old as Father Time herself.'
"What, you mean Father Time is actually a lady! surely that should be Mother Time. How come shes a Father?"
'Well it was at one of those office parties, and she came as a Vicar. One drink lead to another and before I knew it she was marrying off my reindeer, the elves not to mention some of the wooden toys. So the name sort of stuck. Bit embarrassing really, and peeps have sort of got latched on to it, and we know how difficult it is to get them to change anything!'
'But moving on, Erin, we need to have a serious chat, and not just about the state of your chimney!'
"Oh... um ... er... I really didn't mean to have that last nip mouse if that's what you mean, but the force was strong in that one, and I succumbed... And as to the incident with peeps coffee and the cream cleanser, I really didn't know that was just for sinks. Mouses!, I suppose this means I'm off your Good list, huh?"
'No, not at all. Well, not really. Well, not YET anyway, but I need to help you understand a few things about the spirit of Christmas and to see whether you have been good or not.'
It was at this point that this Santa guy got got an absolutely massive book from his jacket. Which was really strange because for a book so big it hadn't made the slightest bulge at all in his... er... finely clad svelte figure.
Opening the wooden cover, inscribed with every animal I have ever seen (and loads more I hadn't), the pages started to flick over on their own. They settled on a page that was embossed with a gold letter E and a bemused look came over his face and then he stared down at me and frowned. I can tell you now being frown at by a fashionably dressed well proportioned 30 stone Santa (he does carry it ever so well) is somewhat a worrying thing.
'Well this is most strange Erin, you're not in my book, and everyone is in my book. It looks like you're lost. Oh dear this is most strange, most unusual for sure. I'm afraid if you're not on the list there's no present for you or your peep'.
'You see when you're rescued a bond is formed and from that bond your lives become shared and identities and fates entwined and the good or bad you both do affects each other and is recorded in my book. Seems like you've not been rescued after all! Oh dear oh dear, what to do... let me see.... Probably best if I just go, and you forget all about me and my visit little Erin, I'm sorry.'
I cannot tell you how saddened I was, in that instant my life had been dashed, to be told I wasn't rescued, not connected with my peep, it was too much. I know there were times, at the beginning when things had been rough, and the pain of the many losses was locked in so deep we couldn't communicate, and we both went off the rails. But those days were behind us now, surely?
And I swear, with a tear in his eye, Santa turned and was about to climb back into the stove when there was a stamping and clattering of hooves on the roof. I really do need to check the Palace insurance to see if we're covered for such things as reindeer damage!
Anyways, at the same time the Palace door gently opened, and through it danced a single silvery snowflake, that settled on the now closed book clutched in Santa's quite frankly huge, sorry, er... well proportioned and manicured hands.
Like a starters pistol the cover snapped open and, in what can only be described as akin to wind driven frenzy, the pages started to turn.
Well, you can imagine the look on our faces, yep even Santa was surprised. The pages raced through the book then slowed and stopped. As they did it seemed as though the air cleared and with it a Santa's eyes opened wide as he saw what page was open before him, and once more he smiled, that big friendly warming and welcoming smile.
Looking up to the roof he let out an almighty...
'Ho Ho Ho. Thank you Rudolf, thank you my friend, you are the clever one for sure! Well it appears my little Erin that I've you pegged all wrong, you are a special little lady it seems, very special indeed. Seems like you wrote your story true, yup, I wondered when I read it whether it was, how shall we say, embellished, but appears not.'
"You read my emails? My book submission? Isn't that sort of illegal, you know the whole privacy thing..... Hang on, does that also mean you saw those pictures of...."
'Yup, with the gold trim, 240 volt.'
"What! and even the..."
'Yup, even that. If you'd take a tip from a pro, I'd rather have the one with the purple, stands out more, more regal in fact. Not that I will get to see it there, but there will be a time when you have visitors who do.'
"OK purple it is then. And tassel's? should I, do you think?"
'Absolutely NOT, ruin the whole image, and get wet too.'
"OK no to the tassel's. But if I may ask, why did you need to look? a girl's gotta have some secrets after all."
'Well you see my little Erin, I get to see everything, from your dreams to your blog else how would I know if you've been good or not? I need to know these things to decide if a gift is deserved, and what that gift may be, or in deed if one should be removed. I can even see some of what lies ahead for you too.'
'And it seems, as Rudolf kindly pointed, out that I must have missed an email and you HAVE earned a place, a special place it seems, in my book on account of.... Hmm, maybe I've have said too much, but what it means is you get to keep a little something extra. In your case you're in my book under P, for Princess. You will have to work very hard from now on though, to keep your place, and I will expect good things from you everyday, and not just whilst your napping. And most of all you must promise to look after your peep in the coming months and years, more than ever before. OK?'
'But now to business, we have little time and I STILL just need to explain about Christmas and to ask for your help.'
With that Santa knelt down and gave me the lowdown on the guys called Mr Claws and Mr Cringle and asked me to get the word out on the streets that these ARE good guys, doing great things for Santa. And yes some do dress like him to do his work in the run up to Christmas, spreading good will and Christmas spirit and helping charities raise funds for starving cats and dogs and all manner of good causes.
BUT when it comes to Christmas and those special presents, those gifts, that's all down to the Big S (he said I could call him that, just the once) and the team back at SANTA HQ as he likes to call it, which he told me, 'before you ask', isn't in Mexico or Spain.
'Well that's that explained, can you do that for me Erin the Cat Princess?'
"Me? Oh Me! you want me? Of course, absolutely consider it done, and I will put that Nutts lad right next time I see him, or sooner I promise.
'OK, that's good. Just one more thing......'
Bending down Santa whispered in my ear....something special, something I'd never expected to know, a gift I had never ever expected to be given, something so purrfect it brought tears to my eyes, then, and even now.
"Thank You Santa....thank you from the bottom of my heart."
'You are more than welcome, come and visit some time. You'll find a way....ask your friends, they'll help and no doubt have some fun on route too!'
With that, and the biggest smile I have ever seen, laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose. Next thing there was a whistle and a clatter of hooves and I dashed outside just in time to see his sleigh rise, and looking down he waved and shouted 'Happy Christmas to you both, and to you both a Good Night!' and then they were gone.
"Wow what a guy!" I heard myself saying as I walked inside, not noticing the door gently closing behind me. I settled myself down on the hearth and pondered what Santa had said, and the things I needed to do.
As I pondered, I heard a whistling from outside, and looking up I saw the little silver snowflake float from where it had fallen and dance through the stove door which then shut behind it.
"Oh well, I will never get peep to believe this, not even in a million years. Best maybe keep this quiet, just in case he takes my nip rations away. purrs"
Maybe it was that silver snowflake that did it, a bit of Christmas spirit Santa left behind, but when I awoke the stove was fuelled and flames gently danced across the yule logs within. And there, on the hearth, embraced in the reflected warmth and dancing flames two present sat.....
******* To be continued, as caring doesn't end at Christmas... *******
You know there is nothing finer than friendship, and the hope, trust and happiness that comes from it. Whilst we don't have a tree or decorations, or anything fancy at The Palace, we have warmth, food, water and shelter and most of all each other. But so many of my kin live and die on the streets in winter for want of just those basic things, or those that have known such joys languish rejected or lost in killing shelters, without love and hope.
Santa gave me something special this Christmas when he spoke to me, he said he would pass on my love to my kittens, and those few words gave ME hope. Please do something special yourselves and pass on the gift of life, of hope and joy too to someone in need, whether four legged or two.
To all my friends across the world, to those that have helped and supported me with this blog and the problems along the way, I wish you all A Very Happy Christmas, may it bring you warmth, love, and friendship that lasts a whole year through....