Well it has to be said, I find myself waiting....
Waiting for what? you may say, and well you may what with free speech and all, and in reply I must say in truth I don't know....
OK in fact I do and I don't. In part I think I do though I may be mistaken in which case that's the part that I don't, but I'm not sure so I've been pondering. Pondering whether I actually am waiting for something that will come or in fact something that won't come or maybe won't come just yet, but will later on.
But there you go, that's the joy of waiting for things like answers, inspiration as what to blog, or indeed buses. Not that I use buses, no ma'am, this Princess goes on paw, meet and greet, press the flesh and fur, that sort of thing. A Princess of the hedges and the streets for sure, and the wool duvet should anyone need a private counsel session, payment in nip and cream. purrs.
Writing this blog is a great thing to do, and we ponders a lot and sometimes things come to me and sometimes things don't, bit like electric cat food can openers. I hear tell they don't, unlike UK buses, come in threes on account of one being enough for any kitty who hasn't one and would quite fancy that one on page 92 of the catalogue. Just saying peeps.
Now that is something Miss Description needs to sort out for sure, as there are never any cats in the catalogues I look at, and why isn't there such a thing as a dogalogue, and what sort of creature is a Dia?
Anyways, mostly things to blog about come when I'm at work. Now before I hear shouts from my peep of "don't give me that, your only napping" it may seem outwardly like I'm napping but it's actually a formulated, mathematically proven, environmentally sustainable and economical method to ponder.
Further, I have pondered this very point, and as an amateur algorithmist and inventor of a new theory nay algorythm which can help solve many of the problems of peep kind and cats (including delivery of cream) but at the same time the create the possible collapse of Internet security, on line banking and nip futures, I'm fairly confident it works.
I shall post about my new theory and resolution to the weighty issue of P=NP (there's a $1Million prize to solve it, you know) once I have pondered the ramifications to us all. The pros and cons as it were of a world without on-line shopping, a world where peeps had to go places to do things and more peeps could have jobs, serving electric can openers to needy cats maybe? purrs
Anyways, as important as nip futures and can openers are (especially those with gold trim) best get back to the blog at hand, and pondering things to write about.
I sits and ponders all manner of things, from politics to social problems and local miscreants such as that duo of Mr Cringle and Mr Claws I mentioned in my last post. Rest assured my friends that N.U.T.S. are on the case and will have it all wrapped up by the celebration of Peace and Goodwill will to all (especially cream delivery peeps and electric can opener service personnel) come the end of the month.
*****BREAKING NEWS....If you see red trousers and jackets appearing in closets in your home, you may well have the start of an infestation! Contact your local N.U.T.S. group or police who will help remove the miscreants for you before the celebrations begin apparently just after midnight is best. purrs *****
Back at the Palace, I've being doing an awful lot of pondering recently as to how best to sum up my life thus far, for my submission to the next volume of that totally brilliant book 'RESCUED'. If you've not already read this book I do thoroughly recommend it for a present for someone close to you. Do make sure its someone close, so once they've unwrapped it you can borrow it back and have a good read yourselves, as this is an engaging, entertaining, inspiring, and moving series of 12 tales from 12 individual rescued cats, sort of like a lot of us. Most importantly a percentage of the sales will be going to various rescues, as nominated by the cats themselves. purrs
Where was I? Oh yes. "Write your life story", that's easy some will say, and in fact so said I when I got a missive from my friend the Gentlecat Seville (over at @Nerissaslife) that submissions were being sought. But when I actually started to look at my memoirs, my life and what I have done, it became clear that there was more to do than just scribble down notes and pass it over to the editor, and it left me pondering not only my tale but my tail too in the search of meaning.
I would need to write about a life that takes me from sleeping on tabloid newspapers on the streets and back yards of the city in middle England, to the couture glossies and being the Princess in a palace that I am today. No small task I can tell you, and a voyage of discovery it was too.
If you ever have to sum up your own life, its easy to put it down quite coldly in about 500 words and possibly less. But then, when you start to actually tell the story it grows, and grows and grows. A bit like my Christmas wish list. purrs
Well I'm never one for a short story as you will have gathered, so I eventually ended up with a story of gastronomic proportions, a massive feast of facts and figures and anecdote that wouldn't have fitted in two volumes let alone the 5,000 word limit asked for by the publishers 'FitCatInc' in LA.
Yep, and so the whole pondering started again. The musing, thinking, dreaming and twiddling of paws as aspects of ones own life were tossed over and re-evaluated, dissected, rejected or reshuffled. Let me tell you this all adds up to a lot of pondering and many hours of labour in sunpuddles, by the fire, and on soft wool duvets. One sure does have to be a martyr to ones cause, for the hours are long and there's no pay bar what you see on the page.
Anyways, after many further hours of near brutal slashing of hard wrought text, I sat down and counted the words. Here I must confess peep helped me, with his additional digits, (and when that failed, a handy word counting tool) and you'll never guess, go on have a guess...... OK some of you were near and a lot weren't, I was still over 1000 words over! All one can say at a moment such as this is MOUSES! MOUSES! MOUSES!
How one can rewrite something and end up with more than the original is a point I also had to ponder, but being the pragmatic sort of Princess I am, I just popped it into my 'ponder pile' or 'the pond' as we now call it, and slept on it, or more accurately I pondered on the pondered pile!
Well I would like to say that, like the best stories, it came down to the wire and teams of ponies were dashing across the good ol' US of A with a courier clasping the valued manuscript, dodging bullets and arrows and hindered in their task by not having an electric can opener. I would really love to say this as it adds so much more flavour and dashing do, but alas this I can not say as clearly there's no electricity on horse back. I knew you'd see the flaw in that, I did. purrs
But it did get me pondering if I shouldn't have just written a film script instead?
I would of course have to move to Hollywood and have another palace, apparently Caesar had one in America too, clearly those chariots got great fuel economy for sure.
Then of course there would be an Agent apparently there are very big firms specializing in these things, CIA for one. Sounds like that's where all the brainy folk go too. purrs
I naturally set to pondering who would play me? Clearly casting would be crucial to the whole thing as its not a role anyone could pull off, no ma'am, there would be personal suffering, cruelty, humiliation, hunger and loss to name but a few, and all before breakfast, if there was any!
Who could portray such things with the feelings I had?
Had I been a peep there would have some great actresses there to take the role, Angelina Jolie, Sigourney Weaver, Milla Jvovich to name but a few. Alas not so in the feline world, where it tends to be just bit parts, a walk in here, a commercial there. No real scope in those 'type cast' parts to demonstrate the range of emotions we have when out alone on the streets.
But the more I pondered the more I realized my story was not just about me, a book or a film about my life, but about all the cats that get kicked out of there homes, abandoned when their peeps move, or are lost or have lived feral, as peeps say, and are then snatched off the streets to be killed in shelters when they could just be neutered/spayed and returned to live a life in peace.
So my story is of us all, and any one of us could fill the role, and each would have an adventure in their own right to share, an adventure to make us cry or laugh, and to make you ponder....
So if someone ever asks you to write your tale in 5000 words or less, give it a go as you will be surprised where it takes you, both spiritually and physically.
Well, I seem to have pondered too long and it's time for my... er...*checks diary* ah yes, time for my second breakfast. But I have pondered this too and from now on I won't be having a second or even third breakfast, instead I will be giving it (when I find peeps PayPaw account) to any friends in need at the shelter I was RESCUED from, The Woodside Animal Centre in Leicester UK, which survives like most do, big or small, without funding bar what they raise or have donated.
This Christmas, this time of giving and sharing, a time of peace and goodwill to all, please think of those lives that need your help, whether in a shelter or living rough, a meal can be the difference between life and death, quite literally.
If you would like to find out more or buy a copy of a truly inspirational book, its called: "RESCUED The Stories of 12 Cats through Their Eyes"
Please follow the link below to find out more...I really don't think you'll be disappointed...
Click this Link to buy RESCUED via Amazon