Saturday, 18 June 2016
Brassica and Brussels
Well there I was having a nap, not your run of the mill nap I hasten to add, I'm not that sort of a Princess, no ma'am, but one of those power nap naps. It' s like the chocolate you can eat between meals without loosing your appetite, only its a nap you can have between naps.
I'm sure you all know the sort, heavy day in the fields of business or feeling a bit low on energy after taxing session checking the thermal efficiency and dynamic elasticity of various linens, carpets and upholstery, that sort of day.
I better take it that's a yes as I'm running out of those allergy things to describe it for you...Whats that peep?....its an Anne allergy? but I don't know an Anne, and what allergy does she have, heck I don't want to catch anything! Oh an analog e! isn't that what came before digital?...No?...oh an analogy! now why didn't you say that before. Mouses!
Well I shall continue, I was just having a non allergic, non digital, low calorie power nap when peeps radio turned itself on. Some sort of timer thing, anyways, I get used to electrical things in the Palace doing what they want to do, like the vacuum cleaner that won't work when you look at it but when you turn to check the plug it turns on. The cleaner reckons its shy and doesn't like peeps watching when it's eating. I mean, who knew vacuums could have eating disorders. purrs
Anyways, that there radio just popped on and it was a program about politics and the European Union (EU). Now being a Princess means one must be prepared to host state visits and the like or step up when the monarch of the day is...um...inconvenienced, or when she's out and about doing Queenly things or the politicians of the day just cant make the decisions needed. So keeping abreast of important stuff like the state of the dairy cream industry and the price of nip futures across Europe, Canada and America is foremost (well nearly foremost) in my mind, so as to impress our guests and get the best deal.
Now it seemed from the radio discussion, that the UK wants to split from Europe and go sort of independent. Mouses! I thought, does this mean the channel between France and the UK will get bigger? and as a result will the post take longer to come? Important to know when you're a cat with cheese delivers to arrange.
And where would the UK go? would we weigh anchor and set off to sunny Spain and warmer climes or would we just head West to Canada and the USA...heck that could be the biggest mass exit ever, though technically we wouldn't have exited at all!
What's that peep?... its migration you say? OK apparently peep thinks it should be the biggest migration ever....yep, I've got to admit it would be a massive headache, for sure. Mouses!
Hang on, it can't be a migration as the home island would be coming too, bit like a snail or that hermit crab I once met call Hermes. Hmm.... maybe its called a hermitation?
OK, peep has just told me that we won't actually be moving, not even an inch if we leave Europe, it's all a sort of paper exercise thing.... Hmm that's probably what all the peeps jumping up and down is all about.
Now apparently this paper exercise would mean that we would lose all the subsidies that we get from Brussels. I had no idea that those little chaps earned so much that they could hand billions away, heck we only ever see them here once a year and peep moans when they turn up at the Palace, even though he invited them!
I say boil them till they surrender, but apparently that's not the done thing in this day and age and we need to be aware of the impact it will have.
Nope, it seems you just have to treat those little brassicas with a light touch, some butter and grin and bear the smell and taste for the vitamins inside. Phew... give me cheese, cream and nip any day. Mouses!
Like my dear friend in Canada, the Gentlecat Seville (over at @nerissaslife) who couldn't vote in Canada's elections, I too won't get to vote. Peep will for sure, and all the other peeps, but not us cats, despite keeping the heart and soul of 13 million of the nations households (that's 46% peep tells me) happy and spider, fly & mouse free and organised.
Heck, them politician peeps seem to forget that we cats help keep the economy afloat through the building of new houses for us to live in, as well as all the feline requisites and the comestibles industry! Them 13 million households all have a vote, maybe two or three, and if there's going to be any shortages of that mice, sorry, nice continental cheese or those tasty meaty treats, then I thinks we should get to decide too. After all, who else is better placed to make the right choice, politicians?
Of course there are other peep related issues to consider, such as unemployment and immigration. Heck, those European ministers in Brussels would lose their jobs and have to come home! And they would want expenses and moving costs and even redundancy money for all that redundancy work they do. Mouses!
Top and bottom of it seems to be no one can decide what to do, peeps that is. Some say stay in and some say come out, but strangely there seems to be no middle option or third way, no path that gives everyone what they want for the lowest cost.
Maybe that is both the problem and the solution to the whole Brussels sprout....sorry.... the whole EU problem. Lots of peeps always say I want rather than I need, and often when they say I need they actually mean I want as they don't actually know what it is they do need, and just say I want as they've actually forgotten what the words mean and gotten so used to just demanding everything for fear of missing something.
To make it worse of course, if you demand everything, there is nothing left to have. So when they get it, there is no satisfaction of knowing there is maybe something extra available should you need it or as a treat.
Peep always says its mammon that causes all the problems, though how a woolly elephant can be causing this I don't know, unless its them causing a backlog at the checkout.
What's that peep? OK.... yep... got it... apparently peep says its nothing to do with elephants with jumpers on, its just about money, mind you can you imagine how much the wool would cost for a jumper that size. Mouses!
I have some sayings, two are:- "Pour only so much cream as you can lick away" and " a mouse under paw is worth two out the door". Now maybe that's lost on peeps but the same goes for ketchup and sprouts...oops scrub the sprouts, who would ever want the two! Nope its ketchup and friendships.
As a rescue cat you have to learn to be grateful and how to measure life, and if you notice we all pretty much get along fine, we share if needed and we find that third way.
Maybe I should push for the third way with those Brussels sprouts this Christmas, they can come, and they can stay so long as peep doesn't boil them. What do think?
Today we're entering this picture, snapped by paparazzi peep, of me, inspecting the Palace bathroom facilities for stray fish..... Is there nowhere sacrosanct!