Saturday, 11 June 2016

Confidence and Camels!

Being a Finalist in the Blog Paws Nose to Nose Awards is a major thing in our Palace, and peeps was supposed to be going in my stead. However due to a fear of absolutely everything from flying, meeting people and wearing smart, matching clothes, we seem to be having a few problems deciding....



Now look, peeps, are you going or not? I mean technically it should be me going and not you anyhow, and by anyhow I don't mean going in any fashion, no ma'am that would be plain daft as it would take way too long, for example if you went by camel, or maybe train.

Of course those two methods of transport do have a fundamental flaw, and by that I don't mean things you walk on. OK trains do have floors and an absolute must they are, certainly if they were to be travelling across water they'd stop the ol' paws getting damp. But as they have these floors which aren't flaws, they still do have flaws (and floors) namely they don't work on water on account of there being none of those inflatable water wing supports. Mouses!

Which brings to to another question for Miss Description, if she ever manages to get back off her holiday, why are camels called ships of the desert? For starters there is little or no water, and camels to the best of my knowledge and page three of my Kittipedia, don't float or have sails or propellers! OK I'm not one to criticise or prejudge...er... OK maybe just a bit, but until I see a camel floating, with a cream and Niptini bar, I for one will not be choosing that means of transport. Mouses!

WHAT! What do you mean I cant go on account of being a cat and all. Being a cat has never stopped anyone doing things, cat things or not. I for one never feel inhibited or restricted, even without opposable thumbs. I mean I write this blog, I multi task across the estate. OK I don't always multitask at the same time, but I do need to have my naps, and I do think of tasks I have to do whilst I'm napping, well sometimes. purrs

Anyways, stop deflecting, why cant I go, huh? And don't give me that I'm a cat and don't have a passport, or money or somewhere to put my money or... or... well everything you were going to say but I cant quite recall on account of it being totally boring.

What! I wouldn't like all the noise and fuss and the fumes and chaos? Well I dare say, but once we had managed to get the car packed I'm sure I'd be OK. purrs

Now are you going or not? This is a once in a lifetime chance here peeps ol' pal. OK it may technically be more frequent for us cats, a once in a lifetime times nine, but you do really need to get a grip and decide. There will be things to do here, like sandwiches to make and rations for the trip, like the longlife cream pots, and nip sachets.

Then there'll be suntan cream and a selection of magazines and a hat, not forgetting all the poolside kit, towels to reserve the best spot before anyone else gets there. I mean one has a lot to think about, a lot of lists to make and lots of those sticky aide memoir it notes to stick to everything you need. In fact if you stick them to things you don't need you can cover all the bases in case you find you do need them after all. And if you get those multi coloured notes we can leave them up till Christmas and save on decorations! purrs

Anyways, enough of my preparations for whilst your're gone, what you need to do is get organised and book a flight! I mean how difficult can it be?

****** Six hours later! ******

Now look peeps, this ISN'T difficult. All you do is click on that there button, *CLICK* like so, and voila we have a..... OOOPS! Er, peeps ol' pal, is Australia anywhere near Phoenix, Arizona? Apparently you're leaving on a jet plane in the next... er... hmm 2 hours. Mouses! you should have said, I'd have made some sandwiches for you! purrs

OK, OK, so you maybe Australia wasn't on the itinerary, but think of this as an adventure of a lifetime, maybe two! I mean there's plenty of time, another 3 weeks in fact before your meeting.

What do men you DON'T want to fly to Australia? It's on the way isn't it? and think of all those Hare-Miles vouchers you could pick up... and the cute and cuddly koalas, kangaroos, and crocodiles.... OK maybe not the crocodiles, but the possums are really cute. purrs

Whats that peeps? its Air-Miles not Hare Miles? Well I thought you'd want the fastest way to travel, and as it's not March, so it's bound, no pun intended, to be quite level headed and a fast way to go. purrs

Look peepers ol' forgetful one, ALL you have to do is overcome your fear of flying, overcome your fear of meeting new people, going new places eating at new restaurants, eating AT restaurants, social niceties and
etiquette.......

******  Some time later! ******

......... and not least of all your bad dress sense. Not much really, but I'm pleased to say all this can be resolved by a few of my special nip mice taken just before take off followed by a large Niptini!

Hmm, OK I take it back, the bad dress sense might just sink the whole plane... er... the camel... oops... sink the plan. Mouses!

Maybe it would be better to go in disguise? a historical character maybe? Or you could go as someone from history, like from Madame Tussuad's wax works museum in London? You know the one, where they have famous peeps who used candles. Second thoughts, maybe not, I have seen you with a candle and it's not a pretty sight, no ma'am, worse than all those Halloween movies rolled into one, and those poor folk at Blog Paws would be running for the hills. Mouses!

What about Puss in Boots? Suave, cool, sophisticated, agile of foot and with a blade, big enchanting eyes.... hang on, sorry strike that, those were the reason you couldn't go as that! Although the image of you with a tail some long boots and one of those dapper Musketeer hats would be cool. Mind you it would raise a few eyebrows at the immigration department, I mean there would be the question over rabies shots and quarantine. Mouses!

I know, we'll send you as a famous traveller or explorer, that way you'll get there all brave and intrepid. OK so you may have to fight a few dangerous tribes of never before seen head hunting natives, herds of bone crunching alligators, flocks of vampire bats, monsters from pre-history, pirates, aliens and such like, but nobody ever said getting to the airport would be easy!

What do you mean you're stopping my subscription to the Sci-Fi channel? You mean that isn't the news round up? Mouses! no wonder I thought the neighbourhood was on the slide. purrs

OK, so going as Dr Livingstone probably isn't the best disguise due a certain punctuality issue, nor that brave Captain Oats, though snow won't be an issue in Phoenix which they say is as hot as the legendary bird. Now the thought of self roasting birds rather appeals, and I'm sure my new pal and fellow finalist, Bear Cat, would be suitably impressed with that too, having the fondness for roasted chickens, as he does. purrs

Now peeps, you must decide, NOW!

Look at this web page, there's a nice friendly looking flight attendant in this image, she says you get a chauffeur to the airport, no monsters, luxury spar treatment on arrival, shops restaurants, and even a bed on the airplane. You could sleep the entire fourteen hour flight away in absolute luxury....

Even better, it says all this can be yours for £10 or $14! Go on peeps, splash out, live dangerously. I know it's a lot of money but it will be worth it, think of it as an investment in me, if you like.

****** CLICK ******

AT LAST! Whoopee! Houston, we have lift off! Now get your bags, we'll start to sort out your camping survival gear, malaria tablets and Bowie pen knife. I wonder if you get a place for your tracker/guide/man servant to travel on board too? Best check the flight reservation

****** clattering of keys *******

Er... peeps. What's it mean when it says Balance to pay: £7,201 (each way).  I don't think we know anyone called Balance, do we?

Peeps, ol' pal, why have you just gone gray? Shall I get a Doctor? ................ Peeps?











GOOD MORNING!

We're joining today's Sunday Selfies, Hosted by the fabulous Kitties Blue, over at the Cat on My Head Blog...... WE are having problems with the Linky Link at the moment, and our fellow hoppers aren't being displayed. Please use the links on our hosts page at The Cat on My Head.....


.............. Today's image comes courtesy of peep, and a nip mouse. No mouses were hurt in the making of this image, but peep does now need a band aid!!! purrs






41 comments:

  1. Dang, I've never been to BlogPaws, but Dad has gone before and other kitties go too, more doggies than kitties, but kitties do go. Don't fear the people, they are the nicest bunch you will ever run into and they are just friends you haven't met yet.

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    1. Hi Brian, sage advice, but sadly it's all too frightening for peeps. I think maybe it should just be us felines that go, certainly save a lot of hassle in deciding and booking (in)expensive plane tickets and making sandwiches. 1st class cat tree, and cream, and I'm sorted. purrs ERin

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  2. My Momma would LOVE to meet your peeps. Is he going? Because that would TOTALLY make her day and she might be so happy she tosses some cat snacks around for those of us less fortunate. My Momma realized though that going isn't so much an investment in me (as totally awesome as I am), but an investment in herself. You can sit in therapy for years talking about your fears - trying to understand them and work through them. But it's not until you make the hard choices that things will change. When my Momma adopted me, it stressed her out and caused all kinds of anxiety to have me snuggling with her all the time. But there was a little part of her that was ready to expect more out of life than surviving. More out of life than the limits of her fear allowed. Ten years later, and now she can't remember what it's like to NOT have me by her side. And she hasn't regretted one moment. My Momma's used me as an excuse for the past year to broaden her horizons even more - take chances and risks and share herself in a way she's never done before. She doesn't regret it. She's pretty cool and bad-ass. And if anyone even looked funny at your peep, you better believe her claws and fangs would come out. Eesh. These humans. So much fear. So little self-confidence. I mean, yeah, they aren't cats and all - but they're not THAT bad. Maybe one day they'll have the faith in themselves and love themselves as much as we have faith in and love them too. Don't tell the peeps that though - unless you like weepy, clingy peeps. YUCK. Not to mention that we have to maintain the proper balance of power to keep them in line. ~Bear Cat
    ps - My Momma and I totally love your new digs. I know we've said this several times already, but your palace of pinkness is ROCKING.

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    1. Hello Bear. No peeps won't be going... said something about not eating my sandwiches for 14 hours. Can you believe it, I do a mean Mouse on Rye, easy on the mayo. Not that the mouse was mean, nothing average about my mice. purrs ERin ps glad you like the new Palace, way better than the purple peeps bought me last year. Mouses!

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    2. My Momma and I love you and the peeps anyway. Had this happened even last year, my Momma wouldn't have gone either. She's been kicking @$$ and taking names this past year after YEARS of hiding :)

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    3. Thank You, we have good pals in the blogging world, a world that is shared without strife or argument, with much laughter and sometimes tinged with sadness. But life is better for the comradery and equanimity it brings. purrs ERin

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    4. ps - Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious selfie :)

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  3. You worked very hard trying to persuade your peeps to go!
    That is a lovely selfie.

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    1. Thanks Flynn, we can only do what we can do. No amount of cream could persuade, maybe I should have offered cream.... Purrs ERin

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  4. Erin, it's too bad your peeps aren't going to BlogPaws. Y'know, the mom didn't go to the first couple of BlogPaws because she was too nervous and scared to go. But she finally got up the courage and went and said it was one of the best experiences she had. Maybe your peeps will go one day. Nice selfie, by the way.

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    1. Thanks guys, I shall no doubt NOT hear the last of this from peeps, after booking the most expensive flight for a peep who's scared of everything! Who knew? purrs ERin

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  5. We've never been to BlogPaws either, but Claire said she wants to attend once in her life. She didn't say when... Great selfie ! Purrs

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    1. Hi guys, and thank you. Everyone says it is a wonderful place to be, my peeps will maybe go one day but I suspect will end up arriving too early or late! purrs ERin

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  6. Your Selfies are lovely, Erin, especially the last one. You could have passed that mousie on to me, IF there was one involved...MOL :D I don't know about that £ 7,201..either what it is, it would bring me out of Balance, that's for sure :D Pawkisses for a Sunny Day :) <3

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    1. Thank You, purrs Rest assured If I gets another mousie I will have it dispatched... er... sent post haste to you. purrs

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  7. You look just gawjus Erin. And ifin your peep found a flight fur $14.00, we need to know where. Mommy could afford dat and we could be meetin' in no time. Have a great day.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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    1. Hi Dezi! Seems like I bought peeps a reservation and NOT the flight! We lost the $14 but better that than the thousands on a plane peeps wouldnt take! purrs ERin

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    2. OMC You had to paw fur a reservation? Dat just ain't right, not right at all. But you's so right, better dat than da thousands of dollars.

      Luv ya'

      Dezi and Raena

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    3. Loves you both too. purrs ERin

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  8. Darn it that you couldn't convince your pawrents to go to BlogPaws but then there's always next year!

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    1. Yup, peeps is such a wuss. I hope for next year too, if we get nominated of course, but suspect peeps will give me the same ol' story.... purrs ERin

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  9. Erin I got to FLY to Blogpaws Las Vegas in 2014, and then I drove to Blogpaws Nashville in 2015. When I flew, I got to ride on the seat next to my mom cuz no one was seated there. Everyone was amazed by how well I traveled. Except...I got constipated and ended up in vet jail for the first day of the conference. And mom blabbed about it on Facebook so everyone knew about my little issue. *Embarrassed ears* - Sorry you not going to Blogpaws this year. Me either. I haz to stay home this year. But its still exciting that you're up for an award. Happy tails!

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    1. Hi Herman! Wow you got to fly too? that is wonderful! My peeps is a great on for blabbing about things, embarrassing things at that! It is wonderful have got to the finals though, and means I've got to stock up on the bubbly stuff in case we win... bubbly cream shakes that is. purrs ERin

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  10. We're Finalists unable to go too. We should get together and have a pity party that weekend :(

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    1. Now that IS a great idea! Now if my pal Seville can sort a teleportation device I can get to your place in time! Hope we both have a fabulous Blog Paws, whatever the result... purrs ERin (stuck at the Palace!) Princess.

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  11. Hmmm... Now if this Mr. Balance were to send you a peep-sized frying pan, I might be able to rig up a teleportation device. What do you think?

    Purrs,
    Seville

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    1. Hehe, that is one fabulous idea! I will try to get hold of Mr Balance straight away. Bound to be cheaper than the other one which peep wasted the money on! Do frying pans come in size 10's or is it done by pant length? purrs ERin

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  12. We're sorry your Peeps won't be going to BlogPaws this year, Erin. We won't be able to, either, but have been in the past. We can say that it is a wonderful, happy and very welcoming experience. The people are SO nice. Maybe someday...

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    1. I wish, maybe, *sighs* but it's like they say, pigs may fly... Now if peep could go by train or camel I think that might work, but apparently trains don't float and camels smell and spit! NOT a good combination... purrs ERin

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  13. ERin.....we iz sorree yur peepz willna bee goin ta blogpaws.....

    sew much for de sekrit partee ewe had planned at de palace while they waz gone....we waz lookin for werd two it two, az we noe all yur other friendz ewe inn vited were......

    well, may bee sum time next yeer, ewe can haz that "peepz R gone letz get thiz partee started "...partee...huh ~~~~ ♥♥♥

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    1. Hi guys... You know that is a good plan! Peep doesnt have holidays though, cant afford to go away and too scared to fly. We needs a cunning plan! Seville suggested a large frying pan and some teleportation device would maybe do it.... Anyways I will give you a heads up when they gone. Purrs for a party on at the Palace! ERin XoX

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  14. I am sorry you and the peeps won't be going to Blog Paws. Don't worry about that though, just enjoy the fact that you are a finalist- that is so great!

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    1. Hi Phoebe, maybe one day peeps will go, but first we'll have to get over the flying thing and take lessons in dressing! purrs ERin

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  15. You don't need to be there necessarily..it's just wonderful that you were nominated :)Now about that band-aid...a princess never scratches...or does she?! ;p

    the critters in the cottage xo

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    1. Yes the nomination is such an honor, it's lovely to have the support of ones pals. As to that band aid, don't let on, but peep did it stitching the tail back onto that mouse! Always knew sewing was dangerous. purrs ERin

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  16. Mee-you Purincess ERin yur lookin beeteeuss as usual. Sorry mee not make it here earlier; LadyMum has been busy with Aunty an Unccle an O-U-T!!!! Phooey!!!!
    Yur new header iss luvley bye thee way!
    **paw patsss** Siddharta Henry xxxx

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    1. Aww thank you Siddharta Henry, that is very kind of you to say *blushing*. It is wonderful you could call in, and you must never fret, friends are always welcome whatever the time. Ann at Zoolatry did a great job redesigning the Palace, not a corner of the Palace or cobweb was left unpainted or left un-refreshed, or both! purrs ERin

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  17. Late commenting for last week, Sorry Erin we will chat soon I hope.

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