Sunday, 31 July 2016

GLUTTON!


Look peeps ol' chubby one, and I mean that in the nicest of ways, I am not fat, nor am I chubby, rotund, plump, obese, or over weight...

Nor, am I a GLUTTON!

.... and before you mention the consultant again, I'll have you know what passed between she and I had consultant-client confidentiality.

What do you mean by "well who pays the bills!" What do birds have to do with this, I mean I don't go and see them when I want a check up now do I, hmm though it might explain the chatter coming from the accounts section. purrs

Anyways this here Princess is not a glutton.... look, I'll just get my kittipedia out....

****** Sound of pages turning ******

Here, see, it says one with a voracious appetite for food, prone to eating to excess, devoted to eating... I could go on, but none of these relate to me.

OK, so I like the odd mouse and I've never been shy of  a sparrow, but I certainly don't gorge myself. Take last week, I had only half a sparrow on Monday, you know, the one under the bed to the left of the mouses tail? OK so you don't know that one, but that isn't my fault, heck do you expect me to do everything around here and the cleaning. Mouses!

And then on Thursday there was the Blackbird I brought home, you must have seen that, surely! I left a trail of those soft downy feathers for you to follow, yes? no? well OK, that will be surprise for later in bathroom 5.

Oops, forget I said that as it won't be a surprise if you remember, but the whole point was, and the point you will have to forget is, that that there blackbird is one hundred percent alive and intact. OK, maybe 98.7 percent intact on account of the feather outage.

Hmm, best make that 97.5 percent intact on account of the poop. A fair bit of poop, in fact, so lets just say with a variable amount of intactness but one hundred percent aliveness that there bird was not eaten, no ma'am. I didn't gorge or glutton myself one bit, heck there is nothing worse or socially unacceptable than trying to stuff a blackbird in after two mice, and a sparrow turnover with cream and nip sprinkles. purrs

Whats that you say? it's gluton and not glutton you say? Well if that is a round about way, and when I say round I don't mean a non slim way of saying I'm one "T" short of being fat, then I'll just have to take my presents elsewhere! the library is always nice and hot this time of year. purrs

What's that you say? it's not just tea you say! Peeps ol' pal I really must protest, there is no way this Princess is missing out on any meals.... first it was one tea short and now you want more! How many meals must a girl forego? No don't answer that, I shall just have to put my foot down and say of the few meals a day I have, losing one is too many, so two would be.... er... one more than too many. Mouses!

What? oh you mean gluten as in the mix of proteins found in the endosperm of wheat and such like, that makes bread swell and all fluffy, that gluten. Well why didn't you say so in the first place and save all this idle chit chat. Mouses!

Hang on a moment, are you saying I look like a fat fluffy loaf of bread!




Anyways, why have you bought all this food with glutton free... er... sorry gluten free on it? I'm sure that it's just going to be another of those crazy fads that you go through, like the pizza only diet where you actually ended up looking like a pizza on account of all the fat.

Really! you mean you're the one with glutton problem... er... sorry I meant the gluten problem. OK so I actually I may have been right about the former but I shall let that pass....... just wait till I tell my consultant about this, and I do think we ought to have a chat about who pays the vet bills. purrs

****** Later that evening ******

Hmm....

Umm.....

Peeps ol' non slimline one.... I've been thinking about this gluten free diet you're on, this diet that is free from gluten, it means you have none of those stodgy foods like pizza, or noodles, or pizza with noodles, right?

OK, I take it that glazed look as a yes. So, if I know my math, no stodgy foods means low carbs, and low carbs means more protein and more protein means you'll be needing more meat like things, things like chicken or fish..... or like mice, yes?

Just nod and smile, OK? good.

So on this diet, familiarity with your food, something I don't have a problem with due to saying hello to mine before I eat it, will be important. So I figure you will need more pizza like things without the pizza base..... like cheese maybe? And when it comes to dessert you will need things to make up for the lack of cake, like custard, maybe even a splash of cream for variety?

Peeps, I have a plan! I shall help you resolve your diet dilemma, and it will be tough to start with I know, but I shall be there for you all the way.

In fact I promise to eat with you every day, to share the mental strain of the transition to the new diet, mouse for mouse, three year old mature Canadian Cheddar bite for bite, and churn for churn. No need to thank me, it's the least I can do for a peep in need. purrs

Now where did I put the keys to the cream vault, I do think we should start this new protein diet ASAP!

                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Hi everyone, it's Sunday Selfie time!  Hosted by the wonderful Kitties Blue over at the Cat on My Head blog....




This weeks picture comes from one of the Palaces smaller gardens "The Mouse Garden", need I say more!

To see what all my pals are up to this Sunday, please click the images below....




56 comments:

  1. You have a great plan going on there for you and your peeps Erin,Happy Sunday,xx Speedy

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    1. Hi Speedy, yup I think I've got everything covered, and not just in cream! purrs from your pal, ERin

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  2. Interesting how close those two words are, that is for sure. Do cats have to go on gluten free diets.?? Don't think there is much gluton in mice or birds. You all have a wonderful Sunday.

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    1. Hi Marg, well I think less additives in food is better for peeps and cats and dogs, and yes gluten can affect even pets! I do agree with you on the gluten in mice, unless of course they've had some wheat that for supper! purrs ERin

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  3. MOL..better you come fishing with me, Erin, ...after the mousie of course..or does that sound too gluttony :D Pawkisses for a wonderful day :) <3

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    1. Ooh that does sound fun, and not at all gluttonous. This fishing, will we need rods to catch mousies too? purrs ERin

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  4. Oh Erin...there's just more of you to love! ;) Nice selfie, by the way.

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    1. Aww thank you, I was rather hoping there would be less by now, but those mousies just keep on dropping in... maybe I should really move that pot of cream! purrs ERin

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  5. I am relieved to hear your peep wasn't calling you a glutton! You are very thoughtful to suggest helping her with her diet. That is a nice selfie in your mouse garden. My mouse garden seems to be lacking in mouses lately.

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    1. Hi Flynn, I tries to help out where I can, and sharing food recipes with peep just seem the right thing to do. Of course I get to taste test all cream and cheese related food, purely to check for stray gluten... Hmm, I agree, those mousies do seem a bit shy these days, but give them a week and I find they will be in bloom everywhere, including the Palace! purrs ERin

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  6. Oh that diet word is too darn popular around here Erin!

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    1. Oh no, you too? you have my sympathy, for sure. I do think peeps make too much of this diet thing, and if they gave us more mice I'm sure things would even out. After all the more I chase a mouse the more I lose weight. OK, so the cream doesn't put up much of a fight, but those lids do take some getting off! purrs ERin

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    1. Hi Jeanne, I hope your have a great weekend too. Purrs ERin ps do you have any spare mice I can send to my pal Flynn?

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  8. 98.7% intact. Oh, Erin ... you kill me. Not unlike a certain sparrow or the odd mouse. Leave it to a cat to make sure any changes in the household are amenable to the most important member :)

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    1. We (meaning I, being in charge of catering) does try our best to make sure all things even up and peep doesn't feel left out. In fact I will be sharing peeps cream and cheese as a gesture of good will, just so no one gets too much. Oh the personal sacrifices we make for our loved ones! purrs ERin

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  9. You are a lovely, petite lady cat. And that is a great garden pic of you.

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    1. Hi guys, and thank you, I hoped someone would see my slim side in the selfie. I think in celebration I shall crack open a new case of single cream! purrs ERin

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  10. Erin, you look so pretty in The Mouse Garden! I hope you benefit from the Peep's more-meat-less-carbs diet. Surely, more meat is always a good thing to us kitties!

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    1. Hi Annie. That Mouse Garden is a lovely place to be, both warm and cool and plenty of wildlife to keep an active cat amused for hours. Better still, the gardener seldom goes in it so I get to have many hunting trips. PS yes, more meat is good, and less of the nasty additives too. Something peep is only just learning! purrs ERin

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  11. A purrotein diet eh? Well mommy would luv dat. Dat is ifin she could afford it. MOL When she was younger, she ate a high purrotein diet just cuz she luvved stead and taters. MOL But she was much thinner and shaplier back then. Good luck to your peep.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Hi Dezi, Hi Raena... The good thing is, it isnt working out much different in cost. Peep is actually eating less as now feels fuller with the gluten removed from the diet. Seems like the food is more satisfying too and takes longer to digest. Bit like me having a mouse rather than tinned food, I feel fuller for longer. Mind you I can always find room for a bit of cream! purrs ERin

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  12. Just no glutton with the gluten whatever you do Erin MOL. Love the flowers but you look much better with that Selfie

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    1. Hi Timmy, you sure are right about that, and sound advice. Now if only peep had done years ago. Oh well, it will just have to be plain old cheese, cream, and mice from now on... for me that is! purrs ERin

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  13. My human is on a diet too! She does eat gluten though, but the amount of vegetables....mes wants MEAT!!! And now that mes lives in a apartment in the sky...no mouses (or birdies) sigh....
    Your official portrait this week is marvelous darling! mes LOVES it!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. Hi Nellie, glad you like the picture, not easy in a busy schedule to find the time. Oh my so you have ended up on a diet too, be default! well de fault of your peep that is. Hmm sounds like what you need is a holiday to the country, a chance to unwind chase some mice and spread some wings. failing that I could always send you a compilation video of bird songs? purrs and kisses, ERin

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  14. Replies
    1. Aww Thank you, I shall remind peep of this when next he mentions glutton or gluten! purrs and headbumps. ERin

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  15. What a great selfie, Erin. And you definitely don't look like you need any slimming down. You're perfect just as you are!

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    1. Thanks guys, I keep saying this but peep just looks at the headline waistline figures rather than the overall svelte and proportioned fun me! What is a girl to do? purrs ERin

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  16. We think you look purrfect! Very nice selfie too!!

    The Florida Furkids

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    1. Thank you guys, I do try to work out every day, lift weights... Unfortunately peep just calls it snacking on mice! Semantics, huh? purrs ERin

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  17. Beautiful selfie. You do not need a diet, you are not round, you are perfect.

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    1. Thank You, I shall show this to peep and print it out for the office wall. I keep telling peep this but all I hear is... well, whats a Princess to do, there are only so many mice I can cut down by a day! purrs ERin

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  18. Gluten vs. Glutton all the same to me, but about that …cream vault …I would be happy to test it out for you.

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    1. Always happy to share cream with a pal. I will set up a taste test some time, for all my pals, when the weather cools down a bit! Hmm, I wonder if I could do it on-line? purrs ERin

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  19. WE all hope we never hear the dreaded "d" word around our house.

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    1. Yup, when peeps get going on that sort of thing they won't stop till everyone is thinner... in fact that is probably what happened to my bed when it turned from a double into a single!

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  20. Lovely selfies and we think you look purrfect!

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

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    1. Thank You Athena, and Marie, unlike my peep you do have very good appreciaation of form. purrs ERin (the slim)

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  21. Peeps and their food, huh? MOUSES!

    You know, my Peep #1 is a GLUTTON for punishment. Once, way back when, she made a GLUTON roast. No roast. Just gluton. Did I mention there was no roast? No meat whatsoever. Can you imagine? MOUSES! But the worst part is, even though she had to knead the moused-up thing under water, thereby gettin' her paws all wet and icky, she says, she's gonna make it again. Yup, that ol' Peepers of min is a glutton for punishment, for sure. Again I must say, MOUSES!

    Purrs,
    Seville

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    1. Oh heck, I have heard of this strange ritual, and it sounds a terrible ordeal, akin to the rite of passage, but without the car or train. And there was NO roast you say? not even a nut roast? WOW peeps are strange! purrs ERin

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  22. ERin....deer cod in all de seaz...pleez say itz knot sew.....knot burd consumpshun.....hole, feathered, half, partially any oh de above....pleez
    say itz knot sew......oh, N sorree bout de hole pizza thing for yur peepz....
    thatz gotta sux !! ☺☺☺♥♥♥

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    1. I hang my head in shame, alas a half sparrow did pass my lips, just once. Peeps does usually take them off me and set them free. I do prefer mouses way more as we have quite a few around the Palace. Please be assured Mr Blackbird was ok and flew home to press conference and is making a movie of the whole thing, with a book contract in the spring. purrs humbly yours, ERin

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  23. Erin, humans are obsessed with our weight! What's up with that? You have quite an interesting garden. And what a lovely selfie.

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    1. Hi Lola, seems like everything needs to be thin, sadly even my bed has been thinned down to a single even though it was now way over weight! The Mouse Garden is a bit of a jungle but I like it that way, great for playing hide and seek in! purrs ERin

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  24. Erin your Peep needs to follow your meal plan and she will be just fine! Your mouse garden looks wonderful to explore! What have they done to your bed though? Beds should always be nice and comfy we say! Hope you have a wonderful week!
    Marty and the Gang

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    1. Hi Marty and the Gang, thanks, I'm glad you like our little garden. Hmm, that bed was a whole other saga, and I haven't forgiven peep for that. I'll have to think of a just punishment, maybe withdrawal of cream privileges? Of course I will have to step in to take up the surplus, can't have it going off now can we! purrs ERin

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  25. We love Erin in the garden. What a gorgeous picture!

    Miranda and Harvey
    Dash Kitten

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    1. Hi guys, thanks for stopping by and sorry I didn't see your message before! It is a nice garden but a bit overgrown but peep likes it that way so I can have more fun. purrs ERin XOXO

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  26. Erin, diets are totally PANTS! Our P.A. has to eat a gluten free, low G.I. organic vegetarian vibe - which like basically means she'll be living off a plate full of ice cubes soon!!! MOL And we pity her, we do really - how could mew survive without copious amounts of protein of the right kind? Mouse, burd and the odd bunny - but we really didn't say bunny! MOL Great pics today :D Purrs Basil & Co xox

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    1. Hi Basil, I do feel for the PA, really. So far it's the fishes that are taking the brunt of peeps new diet... as I don't like fish, I'm waiting till we get around to the mice! Not seen any bunnies around this way of late else I could give one a try,... er... invite one round to discuss quantum physics and domestic science. purrs ERin ps. what sort of sauce does one have with bunny, is cream OK?

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  27. Erin, you look lovely and purrfect in your mouse garden. Our human has celiac disease (diagnosed as a child) so she is not suppose to eat gluten. But she loves pasta and eats it almost every day! There are a lot of rice pasta noodles here in Vancouver and rice spaghetti noodles that are so good they even fool gluten eaters!

    the critters in the cottage xo

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    1. Hi... that is really good to know, thank you, I will send peep in search. We are still getting to grips with this whole new gluten free business, but signs are good and the food of late has been more healthy... not quite the mice I was expecting, but give it time! purrs

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  28. If your peep just follows your high protein diet he won't have any problems.

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    1. I do think you are right.... WE have started on the fish, though not from the moat as there does seem to be a shortage in there on account of the Kraken Basil lent us. Purrs ERin

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