You know life here at the Palace isn't just all local matters, mundane easy going things, no ma'am, there are also important tasks of national importance that require daily attention, consideration and fine tuning.
In fact these can be dangerous too, take the other day for instance. There was I minding my own business, namely checking everywhere for miscreants and Mr Creants, though I've never yet found one of those, when it hit me....
****** Wavy lines and passage of time ******
Hum de tum de tum de....
****** CLANG ******
My poor head!
What the mouses! whats going on? why has all this junk metal been stashed behind the official Palace cat flap? I mean if I'd been in a hurry I could really have done myself a mischief, or should that be missprincess, anyways this Princess needs to have words with the refuse peeps at the council. Hmm I think I'll just head back to a nice quiet bush to recompose myself, and my head....
****** A short time later ******
Right, its off to work I go, and a phone call to make about scrap metal prices. If I can get a good deal I'll throw in the Eiffel Tower I won on that scratch card, that has bound to be worth a pint or two of cream. purrs
Hi ho hi hum and a tiddly de dum, hi ho hi....
****** Muffled thump and bump ******
What the mouses is this? No sooner than I've got through this here flap than I've been bounced right back out again on my er..... behind! Oh my poor head! my poor behind! my poor nose! I feel positively squished. It's not every day one runs into a rubber wall.
Why on earth would someone, anyone, want to put a six foot high rubber barricade INSIDE the Palace. Now had it been outside it would have served the defence network admirably, not that the Palace has a Navy or an admiralty, no ma'am, being land locked it sort of makes it a bit redundant, unless of course you count the moat which you might say arguably doesn't need a Navy as it would just be going round in circles all day...
Oh so that's what a circular argument is! Hmm I wonder why it's called a Navy though? I mean in this day and age why not call it a Pink or maybe a Puce green or maybe even a Marigold?
Anyways back to the whole moat thing, I really don't think there's much need for rubberised reinforcements on account of the Kraken we recently installed courtesy of our blogging pal Bionic Basil, in fact having the two might well be a non starter as I'm fairly certain Kraken don't look good in Navy and may well clash in Marigold. purrs
You know after all this being bounced and squished I just need a nap to sooth the fevered brow and dented derriere! Best maybe if I head up to the bedroom as heavens knows what will turn up if I head back out the flap again!
****** A short time later ******
Nothing like a good jog up the stairs to work up an appetite and a yawn, I'll just hop on to my favourite sun puddle corner of the bed and....
****** THUD ******
I swear there was a whole bed here when I left this morning, yup definitely remember sleeping on a bed just there, at that spot where there now ISN'T a bed. It was a full size 100% soft, warm, comfy bed.... and all mine, except for the corner peeps sleeps in, complete with that sun puddle in the bottom right hand corner.
I mean I know we've had a lot of rain recently, but surely it hasn't shrunk? Hmm on that thought I wonder if peep has tried to wash it it again?
I do recall last time peep fell out with the Palace washing machine there were months of retributions in the form of lost stockings and many holes in leggings. In fact there were so many holes, those leggings ended up being used by the local fishing fleet! Who knew a washer could be so touchy over being taken for a soft wash and a short fast spin. Mouses!
Anyways, if I had wanted a shrunk bed I'd have asked for it, and I certainly don't recall having put a work order in for having my bed laundered and shrunk down in size!
I wonder what happened to the rest of my bed? I mean is there a refuge centre for unwanted sections of beds, to keep them off the streets and sleeping rough, or forming gangs and terrorising innocent people on park benches?
Or maybe as my great pal, Seville at the Nerissas Life blog in Canada, advised, it could be that the Weasel Syndicate out his way is trying to get a pawhold in the UK by the fiendish plan of stealing our sleep by stealing parts of our beds! One day it will be a Queen size then a Double then before you know it, it will be a Single and as sure as cream is meant to be drunk by cats, before you can say Tom maybe my father, we'll be sleepless zombies forced to take refuge in the laundry basket! OK, maybe I exaggerate just a bit about the laundry basket, there is no way with peeps size that is going to happen! purrs
****** Later that evening ******
Hmm, so seems like peep needed to make more room for all my new office furniture, and downsizing the bed was the only way to go. Whilst the extra floor space is always handy for dining and party games with my guests, does peep really expect me to share this... this... footstool? I mean it took a full size bed to attract those lovely sun puddles, and if I've not a big enough catchment area I wont get the right size sunpuddles and thus lack the right vitamin D and who know where that might lead, more and longer naps, and more naps between naps.... OK, I can see that there may be a few advantages, best sleep on it to see, just in case I missed anything....
****** The following morning ******
OK so this isn't too bad, I get to have the bottom, side middle and top right sections and peep has the bit near the top left corner and the gap between the bed and the wall. I mean why waste space, and it's not as though peep could fall down that gap, if you know what I mean. purrs
Ooh I just had a great idea! Maybe I could open a Part Bed Emporium, selling to peeps who have gaps to fill between their current beds and their walls, sort of filling a niche in the market as it were! And of course there is the submarine market too, stands..... er..... lies to reason that those peeps are bound to want narrow beds living in those narrow tubes, and for when they come home again so they don't feel away from home sick!
PEEEEPS! Wake up and phone the Pink, Marigold, Puce, and the Navy, I think we may just have a way to cut the UK's National Budget down to size!
IT'S SUNDAY SELFIE TIME!!!!
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