are words that you will NOT hear me say. Peep on the other hand, I am not quite sure of.
Whats that peep ol' pal? I'm a Cream-o-holic? hmm well if I was anything I suppose I may have a leaning towards liking cream. And when I say a leaning I don't mean having a slight inclination of the body as in walking on a slope, like when I walk on peeps tummy. No ma'am, that's a full on expedition with clamp on claws and pick axe job. No it's just every now and then I do get the odd craving.
Now as for peeps, well that is entirely another thing, and there are cravings for everything. Well not quite everything as we just wouldn't have room at the Palace for everything peeps has ever thought about and bought a magazine about to see if we could fit it in.
Like the home furnishings catalogues and the new invention catalogues. I mean if we have any more beds we'll be the only Palace with Four poster Bunk beds with laser a guided healthy grill coffeemaker smoothie maker combo that can polish your nails and heat your toes whilst you wait. Mouses!
And then there are all the hobby magazines by the score, every week it seems another fad has come to the Palace. I have definitely had to put my paw down on a few of those and I didn't really have to stick my neck out too far to say that Ostrich keeping for beginners was not going to work around here. Can you think of the mess, not to mention the fact that fact they are way to big to chase, though to be fair we would have had enough beds and they could well have given the Kraken a run for her money and helped her lose some weight. purrs
On the subject of which, peeps has been trying to get into new clothes. Yup it is that time again when peeps start to see the excesses of the summer scene catch up, and thoughts of fitting into that little black number for the Palace Christmas Ball surface once more.
Disappointment is always hard to bear, and so I had a long hard chat with the Speak Your Weight machine in the Palace gym, and with a small degree of bribery, have come to a mutual understanding. Now when I say bribery, it is more I will keep the mouses from nesting in the works if there is a favourable downward trend in the results. purrs
Mind you, for every yin there is a yang, and as with many things in life, what goes off in one place comes back in another. In this case, the Weigh Machine Union rules state that they must add the loss on to another who will thus have a gain and balance the books. Simple equation really, and works well for me and the Kraken at least. Peep on the other hand is going to have a little bit of work to do to shed those extra pounds! purrs
Anyways, with all this gluten free stuff going on at the Palace, and needing to lose weight, peeps has enlisted the help from some of our pals and between them come up with a plan. A short time later, and after some acquisitions from the Internet, peep was ready to go.
When I say go, peep just lay back and waited for things to get going. If you ask me this whole weight loss thing is a complete sham, peep has not even stirred from bed to take any exercise, well not at night anyways.
Anyways some days and an expanding waistband later, I was minding my own business keeping tabs on all the Palace mice, making sure they were all keeping fit and lean, when this large box arrives unceremoniously right outside the Palace cat flap and blocked my view.
Well, this Princess definitely did protest, and NOT too much, and the delivery driver who had somehow got past the Kraken, was instructed where he could leave said package, which of course as we all know, is round the back.
Whats that peep?
****** Whispering sounds ******
What peeps has asked me to explain, being a family show and all, is that all such packages should be delivered to the tradesman's entrance, round the back of the Palace. Which for those with an enquiring mind, and any delivery peeps that happen to be reading, is past the little peeps room, then past the big peps room, past the little Krakens room, which if you ever happen to go in is the one with 9 pink fluff hand towels, and then turn left at the midden an you are there. Alternatively you can ask peep to let you in the side door.
Where was I? Ah yes, not one to be nosey, as you know I am the model of priority....
Whats that you say peep? it's propriety you say?
Well I will have you know, peeps ol' rotund and tardy one, that it is my priority to have a peruse at everything as soon as it comes in, just in case it is in need of priority proprietary propriety inadequacy correction. Also it might just contain some mice trying to get at my cheese supply. purrs
OK, so before I was so rudely interrupted, I was about to say peeps parcel arrived, around the tradesman's entrance, and was duly unpacked. Well, it is the strangest looking bicycle I have ever seen, and clearly peep has been short changed or in deed short chained, as there was neither a chain or wheels attached. In fact this here new cycle thing looked more akin to a generator than...... Oooh!
****** Some time later ******
Erm... peeps, you know how I always wanted to go green and cut the Palaces energy bills, and how you need to lose those extra, ahem, inches around the waist, right? OK, I think I may have just found the answer to your dietary prayers and salvation for the Palace Ball. Just walk this way, mind the cables, and have a seat....... purrs