Oh well, whatever it is I'm sure it isn't at all what the label said it was.
I do recall the last time I ordered the fabric conditioner stuff and peep came back with a lovely sweet smelling, and floral designed bottle, sadly though I dare say a short wash on a low temp was not what the California winemaker had intended for that Crisp white with floral overtones little number. Mouses!
Anyways, I shall just get myself settled in and....
What the MOUSES is going on! You just cant go leaping on my bed like that, in that state of... Er, what state are you in? Come on, spill the beans, have you been at the laundry liquid, again?
Mind what your doing! Some of us need the sleep, and frankly, you being long and slim, bar the bits around the hips and tummy, I think you should confine yourself to the left hand side, against the wall, and if you use the gap between the two, that should give another six inches. No worries about falling through as the tummy will stop that.
Steady on ol' thing, I really don't need you legs doing that, and if you think this princess is going to sleep there, and be squeezed in those frankly scary legs and knobbly knees, you have another thing coming! And I'm not talking about the live mouse that I'll being leaving in your bunny slippers if you don't quit disturbing me. Mouses!
Hang on, I am not moving an inch, no ma'am, I have earned this spot, nurtured it and grown it into the duvet it is today. OK so may that is a slight exaggeration, but I have spent the last 5 minutes getting it up to temp and molding it to my perfect body shape. Something I hasten to add that you can not on account of the... er... how can I put it delicately? Hmm OK so there is no other way of describing that huge doughnut you've eaten, you know the one the size of a spare tyre!
That does it! I'm off! If there is one thing I can't stand, or in deed nap for, and that's snoring oh and turning over in bed, it's not as though you have nice white floofy bits to be tickled. Mouses!
****** Later that night ******
Well, all said and done, once the peep is safely tucked up in bed, you just can't beat a snooze on a comfy sofa, especially when the fire has been burning and the last embers light the hearth with an iridescent glow, like the last rays of an autumns sun sinking behind the horizon. Of course a small Niptini helps too! purrs
Ah, just what the Dr ordered, peace and quiet and a chance to unwind, to wax lyrical about...
What are you doing up? Now look, peep, just because you can't sleep that is NO reason for this little Princess to have her evening ruined. Anyways there's no room on this here sofa for you and me both, and don't even think about....
Hang on, you can't do that.....
OK you can, but I warn you I am not prepared to share more than half this sofa, especially with those bunny slippers. I mean they give me the creeps, the way those ears stick out at different angles and the eyes are all askew and bounce around when you walk. Not at all rabbit like in fact are you sure they're rabid weasels on nip, that sure would account for the confused look in the eyes. Mouses!
Anyways this isn't at all how it's supposed to work. You go to bed and I go and have a na.... er... gather my thoughts of the days events and do a stock take of our cream supplies. purrs
Ouch! that was cutting, I don't call you fat, now do I, well OK not in so many words but then that is for your own good, I mean, no one else loves you enough to say it, and keep you on track on this diet. By the way, hows that going?
Let me see if I can pinch more than an inch....
****** Girly screams ******
Well how was I to know that, I mean I don't have opposable thumbs. Anyways, who knew you weren't supposed to use your teeth to do the pinching, not I, for sure. Mouses!
Oh, as you happen to have vacated the sofa, on the way to first aid cupboard could you pick me up some cream, not the antiseptic sort, and maybe a nip sandwich. I'll be up later once I finished getting over the shock of pinching way more than an inch, and it will be JUST what the Dr ordered. purrs