Sunday, 15 January 2017

Come closer, I have a secret to tell you!

Psst


PSST! 

Peep, over here, under the bed....

No DON'T look, just sidle your way over, all casual like, and sit yourself down on that chunky derriere of yours.

Yes that's right, just there. I need you to do something for me. You see I'm in hiding. Not that I've done anything wrong, no ma'am, this Princess never does anything wrong, well not that I know of and I sure don't want Santa to bar me from his Big Book on account of not being good. I did promise I would be good and thus I shall stay.

Nope, what it is I'm hiding from is....

What's that? from mice? ME? No way!

What?

The vacuum cleaner you say?

© ERIN THE CAT PRINCESS.BLOGSPOT.COM
© ERIN THE CAT PRINCESS
No, absolutely..... OK so I do give her a wide birth, but that's only because she gets awfully up herself about vacuuming up hairs, and after the incident with the alleged Pet Hair attachment you bought, well let me tell you that is for hairs that have left the pet and not hairs that are actually still on said pet and quite happy being there and have NO desire to leave the attached state they were cultivating. Mouses!

I took me ages to get over that trauma and the Dr says it will be another couple of months before my bald patch finally grows back over. purrs

NO! What ever you do don't answer back, just pretend to be singing, badly, as you do, and I'll reveal all. But if you see any men, men in black suits with black glasses, and violin cases, I'm not here.

What's that? GANGSTERS! Heck no, I hope not, just the ensemble I organised for the Christmas that you cancelled. I think they want a refund of transport expenses, but I told them no way, not after they said they used cat gut strings on their fiddles. I can tell you now NO cat ever sounded that bad! Anyways I said they could come and do a concert later in the year when we have the old Palace furniture sprayed for woodworm.

No, not an extravagance at all, in fact I'm fairly certain those strangled tones will drive the woodworm out once and for all!  On that point, peep, do you want to be sprayed too? I mean some of your jokes have been old and wooden of late, in fact so old the even the Chippendale commode groaned. Mouses!

OK, so where was I?

OK I need to move all my office and bits and pieces into hiding, cant tell you where, but I've put the instructions on this piece of kibble. Whatever you do don't lose it, OK? Right once you've not lost it, and done what I have instructed, I want you to eat it. I tried to get one that self destructed but frankly that was looking way too messy, and there weren't any available on the Internet anyway. Seems like there isn't much call for exploding kibble, who knew? purrs

What do you mean get on with it!  I'll have you know this is all very important, I mean if I'm going to be an International Cat of Science not to mention multi-millionaire, I do need to have my privacy AND safeguards do need to be put in place for my security. Mouses!

There will be none of this open access policy we have at the moment, no ma'am, appointments will be needed for all things, including bedtime visits. There will have to be strip searches, for concealed weapons, and treats, and coded messages for entry, such as " The quick brown mouse ran into Erin's mouth" or " The rain in Spain falls mainly in the Palace, bedroom 7 and though bathroom 6 and into the outside privy!" Hmm, maybe scrub those as they both true. OK I have it, something along the lines of "Do you want some cream?", or "Your mature Canadian Cheddar dip is ready, shall I feed you now?". Of course the normal reaction is to say NO, but I will answer in the affirmative. purrs

Now as for security, maybe I could use those Violinists as bodyguards? A few bursts of some of those modern "Alternative" pieces is enough to send most peeps running for the exits. Mouses!

What's that, peep? Why am I going to be a super rich Princess?

Well, if you promise not to tell anyone, on your honour, Girl Guides, Boy Scouts, and FBI honour, I'll let you know, but for now I'll just have to ask you to come back tomorrow with an appointment and blood sample, which I can actually arrange for you if you wish. But I won't be here, I'll be hiding somewhere else as this thing I have discovered is way too big, and could solve every known problem AND even unknown problems that they find in the universe, including why does cream go off so fast.

© ERIN THE CAT PRINCESS.BLOGSPOT.COM
© Erin the cat Princess
Down side is it could also render every computer based code completely useless, bring down governments, countries, and worse still, make on-line cream shopping completely impossible. Mouses!!

And that, peep ol' chubby one, is why people will stop at nothing to have this information. Money will be no object, and no act of skulduggery too small. I must protect myself and the world from bad peeps with nefarious intentions from here on in, so I will send you my revelations, the discovery of a lifetime to you once I am secure somewhere warm, under an alpine hedge, with a Swiss Bank Account and a large supply of Swiss cream. Now if you can think of somewhere let me know as I'm struggling for places. purrs

OK, so what you need to do is this, enter this code 'erinthecatprincess' in your laptop, and sit down and wait.... I'll find you, you won't know where or when, but it will be soon. Or maybe later. Or it may well be next Sunday. But it will come, and the secrets of and solution to P versus NP conundrum and the Millennium Prize will be revealed to the enlightened few, and the $1M prize will be mine, and ours to share for the good of peep and cat kind. purrs



To be continued...........


Link into Info on 'Millennium prize' and 'P versus NP' courtesy of Wikipedia.

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53 comments:

  1. Well Erin, blood tests can cause me to go into hiding, but I would always come out to see your beautiful selfie!

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    1. Thank you, Brian, you always make me blush, you are quite the Gentlecat. Visits to my physician are not usually looked forward to, but the after visit cream makes it more bearable. purrs ERin

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  2. Replies
    1. I know it could be the start of a great new adventure for me, and the world.... I just hope they all take this little ol' Princess and amateur algorithmist seriously. But I will happily take the prize and a small quantity of cream in compensation for my work for Queen and country and the world. purrs ERin

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  3. Erin, I sure hope you find a good hiding place and that you win that $1 million!

    You look lovely in your pics!

    By the way, if you were hiding from the vacuum cleaner, I wouldn't blame you!

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    1. I'm hoping that I'll be safely installed somewhere warm in the next few days, and peep has set up a new bank account for the money and cream to be deposited. I do hope the bank is somewhere cold so the cream doesn't go off! purrs ERin

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    2. Um... you do realize if peep sets up the account, they then have access to it???

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  4. You look somewhat smug, Erin. But I am curious as to what you're up to ... or down for. We've always known cats excel in advanced mathematics (how else can one cat position itself to take up an entire queen sized bed?!?!) ... but you've branched into computer science! Don't worry, we won't tell anyone about the Asterisk debacle ;)

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    1. Well, maths and equations and angles have always been my thing being a mousing hunting princess, so this is just a natural progression. Amazing what can be solved by an amateur, the peeps out there just need to listen and learn. Hmm, well that little asterisk was peeps technically, after all it was peep's computer the spider was on, though I'm sure I can wangle some tasty chickens for your confirmation, from the party that comes to negotiate the prize for solving the matter and helping the planet... purrs ERin

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  5. Good idea to up security. And the vacuum needs to be banished from your kingdom being that it left you with a bald patch- yikes. Great selfie.XO

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    1. Yup, if you see a string quartet beside a hedge, most likely I'll be hiding there. MOL. Yup the vacuum got a sever reprimand, but it was sort of peeps fault for taking the packaging literally! As the expression goes, "Some mothers do have them!" purrs ERin

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  6. You beautiful girl! We are having trouble waiting for the next installment

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    1. Thank you. Hang on in there and I'll reveal all.... purrs ERin

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  7. Gosh I don't know if a can wait for the next installment,xx Speedy

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    1. Thanks Speedy, it is a bit complicated, but I shall let you know as soon as I'm settled and have it all down for global release. purrs ERin

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  8. We're not sure what your up to either, but any tips you could share on securing a million dollars for us as well would be greatly appreciated! Purrs from Deb and the Zee/Zoey gang

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    1. Well, the $1M prize will go to whomsoever solves the P versus NP problem, solve it and $1m will be yours. Nobody yet, bar I, has done it. But being a cat does rather put me at a disadvantage.... I do have claws though and intend to make my point! purrs ERin

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  9. I hope you find a good second hiding spot! And hopefully that million will be yours! Very nice selfie, too.

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    1. Thank you, me too. I do need to keep it secure so probably will be in touch with peeps by email only. purrs ERin

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  10. Ummm we're not sure what is going on either but we know it's all good with a Princess like you Erin. WE can't wait to hear the outcome BEAUTIFUL SELFIES!

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    1. Thank you. I can't say too much else will lose the prize, but whomsoever solves the "P versus NP" problem gets $1M prize, for REAL! I'm hoping they will pay some of my prize in cream and the rest in small change to pay the slot meter on the Palace refrigerator. purrs ERin

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  11. AMARULA: I love it when you are up to something Erin!!!

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    1. Thanks guys, but this one is extra dangerous so I am hoping they give the money to me quickly so I can come out of hiding from this hedge in Brussels. Ooops, shouldn't have said that, now I need to find another one. Mouses!

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  12. Replies
    1. Hehe, just playing it safe in case the wrong people try to get the information, can't be too sure these days. Purrs ERin

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  13. We love your selfie, Erin. And we always love your conversations with your peep. And we're glad our peep isn't the only one with a big derriere! MOL

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    1. Hmm, this seems a common thing among blogging staff, and you'd have thought with all the running around for us they do, they'd be slimline! Clearly more training runs to the cream shop are needed! purrs ERin

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  14. We're not sure what you're up to, Erin, but hey, if it helps you garner $1 million, we're totally down with it. :)

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    1. All will be revealed, shortly! But if you want to know more, follow the link and read up about the Travelling Salesman problem, this will help, you may even get to have a go for the $1M prize too. purrs ERin

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  15. Wow - that Mr Blofeld had better beware, you look like you are on to something big here Erin!

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    1. I'll be taking no prisoners that's for sure... for starters the dungeons are a mess and I will have to decorate the spare bedrooms before anyone can stay. purrs ERin

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  16. Your head got vacuumed? Aww... you poor girl!

    Hope you feel better soon.

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

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    1. Thank you... Never again will peep be allowed to use anything that says " Keep out of reach of children". Mouses! purrs ERin

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  17. Hey if you get that $1 million, could we borrow a few bucks, Erin? ;)

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    1. Sure thing, all my pals can have free cream too! purrs ERin

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  18. We think you can solve the mystery and win the million Erin! You are not only beautiful, you are clever too :)

    the critters in the cottage xo

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    1. Thanks guys, this is definitely a cat sort of a problem and I have applied cat logic and come out with the real easy solution, which is why peeps havent been able to sort it out as they are always looking for the hard way. purrs ERin

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  19. You sure have us intrigued, Erin. Oh, and as for that $1M, what's a kitty got to do around here to get a piece of that pie?

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    1. Well I bet you'll kick yourself when I tell you, but the easiest solution is oft the simplest. Now to get in on the action, follow the links in the blog and come up with the answer. I would suggest meditating will help.... purrs ERin

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  20. Somehow and somewhere gawjus, we must have gotten lost. Cuz we ain't got a clue what you're talkin' 'bout. But, we can't wait to hear da answer dat'll solve all da purroblems of da universe. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Not to fear, I'll be giving a briefing to all my pals sometime soon, which will explain all.... that is assuming I don't get bought out in the meantime by the government or large multinational organization prepared to give cash and share options! purrs ERin

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  21. ERin...ewe iz way braver N uz... coz if de closet door wear de vaccuum hidez N plotz ree venge iz even opened a wee crack....we take off like de houndz oh #ellz bee upon R selvez ~~~~ ☺☺☺ we haz all 984 pawz crossed ya win that million in cold hard cash ! ♥♥♥

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    1. Well I'll be giving it a wider birth in future, for sure! Thanks guys, I'd settle for a lifetimes supply of cream, cheese, nip and Niptini's if they cant find the full £1 Million.

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  22. Super selfie sweetie!
    Have a great week...

    Noodle and crew

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    1. Thank you, guys. you too. See you next week at the selfies!

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  23. We would love to have you in our computer, Erin...actually we already have and I think it is worth more than 1 million...MOL :D We love all your Selfies too, Erin. Glad to see you from different views. Double Pawkiss for a Happy Weekend :) <3

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    1. Aww, thank you, that is very kind and I appreciate it a lot, and our weekend wouldnt be the same with you either. purrs and pawkisses ERin

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  24. We're not sure what all you just said but we were enthralled! Have a wonderful weekend!

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    1. Hmm, it is complex math, but seems it all has to do with a delivery person and his shortest route home. Tune in this weekend to find the solution..... and maybe change the world!?

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  25. Oh. My. Mouses. You found the solution? MOUSES!

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    1. For sure! But it could change the face of computing as we know it. It was so easy too, I just don't know why peeps hadn't thought of it before.... or worryingly, maybe they had. Mouses!

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  26. Hi Erin! Great to meet you! Our furiends over at Dash Kitten blog sent us over. We are very excited to meet you, as we love making new furiends. Sounds like you've got some exciting things going on... good idea to increase security. You can never be too careful. We look forward to reading more about this mystery!

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    1. Hello! Thank you so much for visiting me, the Palace is always open to old and new pals to visit. I love to make new pals too, and hope you'll come by later and enjoy the big reveal of my solution to this epic problem. I have upped security and now have taken refuge in a very thorny bush somewhere on my estate... or maybe not? Have a great day.

      Purrs,
      ERin

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