Umm... this ticket, peep, whats it for?
What do you mean, What ticket?
You know, this one, this one here from the breathing specialist that has just landed in my email in box. I never knew you had a problem breathing?
I mean I check each morning for signs of life and I can categorically confirm that you were breathing at 4AM, OK so it was a bit shallow, but once I got a cold paw on your lips it definitely picked up. purrs
What? What's that you say? British Airways ISN'T a chest clinic!
Hmm, do you think we should report them to the Trading Standards Office for false representation?
What? Oooh, I see, It's an air plane company! That makes perfect sense now..... Hang on, so do you mean to tell me you have wasted money to go and see a plane that isn't real! At least with air guitars you don't have to buy a ticket or any special kit, mind you I did have to soundproof the Palace's North tower because of your banshee like wailing. I do really ever regret buying you that Air Amp and Air karaoke set. Mouses!
OH I see, so its a REAL plane, that flies in the air rather than one made of air that pretends to fly. Well that explains it! So tell me again, where does the breathing bit come in?
****** Some time later... ******
Hmm, looks like this ticket says you are flying to Blog Paws 2017. You do realize that this means that you will be travelling out of this county, and country, and going ABROAD! And that is ABROAD as in foreign lands and not A Broad as in wide though if that tummy gets any bigger we may have to have one of those wide bodied jets. Mouses!
Oh, and it means flying too, something we know that only the birds were meant to do, and something you really hate. I mean last year you chickened out an didn't get on. That was a massive waste of money and my time organizing the schedule and meals. I mean, I had all my naps planned around your departure and arrival and ordered loads of Nip mayo on rye, easy on the rye, and it's not easy to find a home for that much at short notice, or cancel that many guest taxis. Still the Taxis came in handy for moving the party food to the Cats in Need (of a party) Charity.
On the plus side, at least you hadn't bought any new clothes for the trip, in fact I can't recall the last time you bought any new clothes besides shoes, but they don't count apparently, well not if you read the latest fashion books, which we all know you don't on account of the style being so retro even the cavemen would giggle. Mouses!
Hmm, as a fashionista and all round Princess with street cred, it falls to me to sadly break the news to you, peep, that I think it's time to get out with the old wardrobe and in with the new.
No, no you don't have to thank me, and that spluttering isn't needed, in fact if you carry on I'll have to get a mop. Mouses!
Call it a gift from one pal to another, on your card of course, but I have here the answer to all your prayers, the perfect glossy magazine guide for the fashion starved Blog Paws attendee!
Yup, I've splurged out and got you a years subscription to Wardrobes R Us, the complete guide to sliding doors and accessories including, in this edition here, a special winter and rather apt sliding pullout centrefold, featuring this seasons must have louvre. And when you open this sliding gate fold thus, you can see all the nice outfits inside. purrs
Now if you look carefully just there to the right, they have built in a series of cat condos cum small meeting rooms, and you can even specify how may of these you need to suit the number of felines in your Palace. They also double for cardigan holders and overflow shoe storage, which for you peep, with your thirty pairs of pumps, should be quite a blessing, and sure will save them from cluttering up my new office. You recall, the NEW office Uncle Brian gave ME for Christmas? The NEW office that now has pumps squatting on the top balcony area. And I even found a pair of sneaky sneakers sneaking their way inside. Mouses!
Why so glum? I thought you'd be pleased. I know I was when I saw the items on pages 12 through to 16 and 24. I've never seen so many cat luxuries in a wardrobe. Built in Cream cooler, personal grooming illumination station, and multi layer litter tray holder. Apparently these also double as wine cooler, vanity table and a chest of draws. purrs
Anyways, I've cat eared the pages for you. Well, they are cat eared as per MY ears, if you know what I mean.
Oh, and the invoice is coming in by email, to avoid any nasty incidents with the mail man. Hmm, best let the Kraken know about this as I don't want the design team being eaten, well not before they have measured up and installed. Purrs
WHAT! of all the ingratitude. What do you mean, you just wanted a new pair of flares, platforms, and a tank top!
Anyways, I'm putting out a missive to my pals in fashion industry for some emergency advice. Jimmy Chausie, he's good with shoes, and then there's Coco Chartreux, Ralph Rex, and Persian Cardin, He'll be great for all your cardigans and T shirts. Then there's Pixie Bob Prada, I'll be putting her in charge as this is quite a toughie and after seeing the movie I think she'll be able to make something of you.... not sure what but it has to be better than that ensemble you have at the moment. Ooh, and not forgetting Vivienne Westie, from the doggy world, for leather accessories. Purrs
What do you say to that, peep? No don't answer, I don't want you to be lost for words again, it took ages to find the dictionary last time that happened. Mouses!
It's amazing what a Princess can do, isn't it, and I do think the power of the paw is much under estimated in this here Palace. purrs
So, my clothing challenged one, all you have to do is turn up when they arrive. Oh, and pay the bill too, for the food, and the air fare, and the hotel and press conference, and chauffeurs. I put it on your card, I hope that's OK?
Peep? I really don't think crumpling to the floor will do any good to that tank top, not to mention you just land on my favourite nip banana.....
Ho hum, seems like I'll be making my own supper this evening. Mouses!