Umm, excuse me?
Ahem, now I have your attention, if you don't mind, I booked the computer and seat for this evening.
Well this evening if you're living here in the UK, or tonight if you're in Kathmandu. And it would be lunch time on the US East coast or morning on the West Coast.
Actually,on that basis, it seems I have it booked all day, so peep ol' unbalanced one, this seat is mine and you have been trespassing, or is that tress-sitting? Hmm I better check with Miss Description about that, as I don't want it bouncing back on a technicality if I take it to court. And you know what they say, possession is eight ninths of the law. purrs
Incidentally what happened to the other ninth? Was it late for the bus that day? Or maybe it was on holiday or had gone to the West coast and hadn't reset it's clock?
And what if that one ninth had a good case, it could still win and then were would that leave the other eight? Well up the proverbial fraction without a remainder, for sure.
What's that peep? Me? Well how would I know where they would be! It's not like they're mice or anything like that. If they were mice, those missing eight ninths, I'd know exactly where they'd be. In my tummy, mostly, and a few bits and pieces under the bed, and at least one in the bathtub in bathroom No.7, in the plug hole. Oh and at least some in those new slippers of yours, keeping warm for later, on reheat as it were. purrs
What's that? a meta four, you say? Well I don't see how four posts to mark the turning points in a Roman chariot race track have anything to do with this conversation, not least because we have strict rules about chariot racing in the off season. Mouses!
Oh I see, a METAPHOR. As in the META to show a concept that is an abstraction behind another concept and used to add or complete the latter or former, and the PHOR as in the bearer of a specific thing. That Metaphor, well why didn't you just say that in the first place. But that aside, where do YOU think those missing eighths of the law went?
Anyways peep ol' recumbent one, once you've put that dictionary down, I just need to post this blog, our second ever blog, you know, the one about this blog?
What's it called? Well, About this blog, of course. purrs
About this blog.
Well about this blog, I really must get on and make a start..... though talking of starts, I do think things need to be right when you move to a new home, yep do it right from day one and you wont have regrets later. So, when I was shown my new home, I realised that things in the sleeping quarters really weren't up to scratch and needed sorting, pronto! purrs.
Now its fair to say I can sleep nearly anywhere, and have done on the streets, but I draw the line at home at having a saggy mattress and low frame (no matter how scratchable the latter!). Now this old frame was so low I couldn't chase a mouse under it, let alone swing one! Mind I'm not saying I'm a swinger, No Sir, mama raised me better than to play with my food, sorry guests, its just a girl has to have a little elbow room for entertaining. And then there were the pens, odd socks & knickers, these just cant be allowed to go free range and fend for themselves, they need locking away for sure. At this point I would like to observe that knickers are clearly another case for Miss Description to sort, when she shows up, as they don't sound like any horse I've ever heard! Having said that I not heard a horse, but I'm sure it sounds nothing like an Elastane/cotton mix! All in all the underside of this bed was hazardous to feline safety, my mousing practice and most worryingly was not conducive to a good nights napping!
Now the way I figured it, if I could get peep to get rid of the bed & frame, the socks & knickers would have nowhere to lurk and would have to move else where, and thus my job would be done. But how to do it? hmm.... not an easy one I can tell you, especially when you're the new girl in town and don't want to rock the boat/bed as it were, but do want to sink it! that's the boat not the bed, if you know what I mean!
As these things do, the answer came to me one evening mid nap, after a delightful cream mousse, Eureka! I said, Mousses! its mousses I need! Actually on thinking about it, mousses were exactly what I didn't need, being messy and lacking any sort of agility, though they are very, very tasty! No Mousses were off that menu, purrs. No,what my dream actually meant was I needed was mouses! in fact a succession of mouses, one to visit each night! Yep I had a plan for sure!
Setting things in motion that evening, I managed to persuade the mousses, sorry mouses to visit the bedroom between 2am and 3am for a game of tag. Well, on the first night peep was mildly amused and not really put out by my enthusiasm for the mouse chase. However by week two of this nightly cavort around the bedroom over the bed & in the bathtub, the peep was not happy, not happy at all I can tell you. Yep, in fact he was stressed, tired & put out by all the the whole mouses thing I had developed, "this wasn't what I signed up for..." was muttered more than once I can tell you, and I truly thought I might be evicted!
Worse of all for my peep was the fact he wasn't able to resolve the issue of the mouses, which kept hiding out of reach under the a bed frame far too heavy to move, and secure and unseen in the free range socks & knickers. Despite putting down humane mouses traps things just weren't getting better for him. And I still hadn't my new bed! purrs.
Now never under estimate the power of a few sleepless nights and a fussy feline and a few mouses, but I have to admit, I did start to waiver in my resolve, and I was starting to feel bad about it all. Had I been too fussy? too optimistic about my peeps ability to change? No, I told myself it was for his own good and he would thank me one day, yep for sure. Well I soldiered on, and after 1 more night of mouses mania and a banged head to boot, trying to get under bed, the next thing I know the Bed, mattress frame and all had gone, and a new frame (on long legs) with a lovely soft warm mattress was installed! What of the socks & knickers? well they, minus some nesting mouses, got washed and put away. Victory for common sense, homely comforts and mousing was, I thought, mine! purrs.
Alas, this new bed is now so comfy, and peep now has such a good nights sleep, that hes not feeding me on time! in fact he's getting up later each day! So I suppose the moral to this is, be careful what you ask for, whether it be mattresses, mousses or mouses (or all three) as you just might miss out on a meal! Purrs