****** Silence ******
Playing hard to think are we? Cool it must be a game then. I loves games. Can't beat a good game of Cat and Mousie, or indeed Mousetrap! Purrs
Ooh, talking of games, have you seen the new sort of Monopoly game that came out? I invented it. Yup based on real life experiences of buying into and running a drafty old Palace riddled with Mouse holes, and a Cat's aspirations to up size and make it into a Palace.
I called it Catopoly. Catchy name, right?
Well to give you a quick brief, what you do is have cheese and cream pot shaped pieces which you move around a board which is shaped like this here Palace.
The aim is to buy up various state rooms, and once you get enough rooms you have a wing, and if you get enough wings you have a bird! Nice touch that I thought. Eventually you can end up with a Palace and and up grade to the Ultimate Palace, namely HRH QE II's Buckingham Palace!
Of course there are some fun things going on along the way, for example landing on a sun puddle will get you a mandatory free nap and a free go. You can buy essential utilities too, such as Litter Boxes, Water Fountains, and Automated Food Feeding Stations. And of course there are two special items, a Dairy for little ol' me, and a Tasty Chicken Ranch for our pal Bear, over at Bear Cat and Momma Kat Blog.
Getting out of jail......
Mind you there are pitfalls too. By which I mean one of the squares is a face off with our Kraken, and another is fighting with the neighbourhood tomcat. The ultimate woe, of course, is the VET square. Yup you just can't avoid that one, unless you get the 'Get out of vets for free' card, which is really rare, but it turns any visit into false alarm and just a hair ball you're hoicking up.
Anyways, back to the matter at paw. This guessing game you have started, let me see....
Hmm, I'll give you forty guesses as to what it is, and if you get it right I'll get to have a bowl of cream. Sounds reasonable? And the quicker you get the answer the more cream I get. Win win really.... well for me at least. Purrs
OK, ready, steady, GO!
****** Some time later ******
OK OK enough all ready. Mouses!
When I said forty guesses I didn't really mean it. I did rather expect you to actually KNOW what it was you were carrying. Given you actually got it from somewhere. Heck if you don't know what it is I better have a look myself!
OK. Now if I have a sniff around...... Yup, just as I thought, that's plastic, and dust. Loads of dust and a vague whiff of something feline.
So the facts, my dear Dr Watson are this. I, Princess Erin Holmes, have after due consideration of the item laid before me and all the evidence of the ol'factory, and for that matter the new factory too, can safely say........ Eeeek!
Now look, if you're expecting me to go in THAT monstrosity to see my consultant you'll have a another thing coming i.e. blood loss. Mouses!
What do you mean I HAVE TO! This is horrid. Why should I face the indignity of travelling third class in that?
It's dirty and dusty and... and....even more dirty and dusty and..... and..... well it's just NOT NICE. You stuff me in that there box, with a fleecy blanket and expect me to settle down and be happy?
What you, ol' fusty and dusty peep o' mine do not appreciate is how un-nice it is being in that. For starters you shoving me in there does nothing for the fur or my claws come to think of it. And that supposed nice travel rug slides everywhere. I mean who on earth puts a slippy fleece towel on a slippy plastic, cheap plastic I hasten to add, and expects the two not to slide around, especially when a sweet and DELICATE Princess such as my self is placed on top. The static electricity alone plays havoc with my whiskers and i dare say is enough to power your hearing aid. In fact it's worse than being an electrified ice hockey puck.....
A Crisis in China?..............
Incidentally that puck sure has come down in the world from being a merry wandering sprite of the night to being battered around the head by a load of burly men on skates. Just shows you need a strong actors and writers guild. Mouses!
Anyways, why should I want to go in THAT. Its not my annual check up, that's in April. And I feel tickety boo!
I have a spot you say?
Well of course I have a spot, you ninny. I have loads of spots, and all very nice too. Like my nose, I love my nose, and my white floofy bits too. Oh and not forgetting my smile. Many a mouse has commented on how nice my smile is. And my teeth, how white they are. Purrs
What's that you say?
Spot as in pimple?
Oh that sort of spot! Well why didn't you say that, you really do need to expand on your vocabulary, peep, ol' facial blemish descriptive challenged one.
Hang on, are you accusing me of having spots? ME!
I don't have spots. Or zits or blackheads, or any other kind of heads bar my own. What a cheek!
What's that? I have a spot on Mi Chin?
I didn't know I had property in China?
Oh I see on MY CHIN, as in as the No.1 facial permitted grooming spot, THAT MY CHIN.
I never noticed one. Hmm hang on I'll just go and check.....
Eeeek! Oh my word! Peep, we have a crisis!
I have a gigantic unexplained facial anomaly, and it's on MY face!
Right I needs you not to panic, I'll manage the management of that. You go and fire up the Palace Rolls and I'll try and get this here... er... plastic Pet Carrier, and I use that loosely, device looking half reasonable. I just can't believe you never said anything before.
Just as well I had that crate to paw. You see it does pay to be prepared for these things.
Ooh, whilst your at it, bring that copy of Vanity Feline, there was a great article about plastic surgery. Who knows what this may need to put right. And don't forget a supply of paper bags, I just don't want peeps staring at it. You can hand them out before I go in. Purrs
Oh and another thing, when I get to the Consultants, I'll be playing up. I mean there is NO WAY I want anyone to think I got into this decrepit carrier on my own volition. Mouses!
And just one more thing, to parrot phase that well known TV detective called Columbus, on the way back we'll be calling in at the shops. I think the least you can do for not telling me about this horrendous disfigurement is to get me a personal transportation device worthy of a feline of my standing, with tinted windows, soft furnishings and nonslip bottom, and in pink. NOT that I'm fussy or anything..... Am I? Purrs