Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Of Ducks & Sheep & Thrones (on a Wednesday!)

Peeep!

PEEEEEEP!


What's that? What's the panic?

Have you forgotten?  Already!

Can't you recall?

OK I'll give you a bit of a hint, a clue, a pointer. OK NOT a pointer as I don't allow doggies in the Palace, and definitely not in my boudoir.

Now look, peepers ol' fruit, all you have to do is answer this question. There is a one in seven chance that you could answer this question right. So don't rush, just take a moment and ponder what I'm about to say, OK? Good, now sit down on the edge of my bed, but not too far in as I'll never get out of the crater you'll leave in the wool duvet. Mouses!

Right, that's good, now taken a moment and breathe. And as Auntie Marjorie at Dash Kitten keeps telling you, when we come up with a computer tech issue we cant sort, DON'T PANIC, and take deep breaths.

Now focus and think of pretty things, of me for instance, and bowls of fresh cream, and nip, and a long holiday in the sun....

****** Purring sounds ******


Sorry what was that? I just dozed off for a moment there, all that talk of sun and cream. OK right I recall, what I need you to do is focus on the question I am about to ask.

Right here we go. Now peep the reason I have called you here is?

IS?


Come on peepers, I can see those cogs whirring and churning and..... Ooops! Ahh, I think that one just dropped out. Mouses!

OK I can see I'm not getting very far, am I? OK big hint time. We do this thing every week, on this day, a sort of trip down memory lane.

Hello, peep are you still with me?

Hmm seems like we're going nowhere quick on this aren't we. Just nod and I'll move on. Right I can see that I'll just have to tell you that the reason I've called you here today. Wednesday, Ol' befuddled one, which is today is the day we need to do our 'Wind Back Wednesday' feature, where we introduce an old post to folks who have never seen me before.

Whats that you say? it should be Turn back Tuesday?

Umm, I do rather think you have missed the big clue here in so much that it says Wednesday in the title. And even I can see that Tuesday is not the same as Wednesday. For starters, for lunch that is, on a Tuesday I get the chef's special, a light Cream Broth, and on a Wednesday it's the Mouse Mousse Surprise.

What? What you mean, Oh no it's NOT?

Oh yes it is, it is, IT IS! Mouses!


I'll not hear any more about the day, it's Wednesday and that's all there is to it. No ifs or buts or maybes, this is a totally incontrovertible fact, it says so here on today's menu: Light Creamy Broth, served with nip croutons......

Ah.....

Hmmm...

OK. So as I was saying before I was interrupted me with your unscheduled visit, I'm just putting the finishing touches to tomorrows blog post, which will be going out TOMORROW, Wednesday, when I have the Mouse Mousse Surprise. That Wednesday, which isn't today.

So without further ado, until tomorrow, WEDNESDAY, I give you....

Of Ducks & Sheep & Thrones (on a Wednesday!)


  Well two pages into this blog, and a few diet cream teas later (and by diet that's the cream minus the tea) I find that this is way more taxing an exercise than I expected! Now having heard peep talk of things called "power naps" (which seemed just the ticket for a new & tired blogger cat) I set off around the rooms in search. I reasoned a power nap device should be easy to spot by virtue of (1) having a power attachment and (2) something to nap on attached to the power attachment. Well, after a short foray in the bedroom I spotted (if the wire and the woolly texture was anything to go by) my power nap device folded up in the peeps wardrobe! Yep, there it was in glorious two tone pastel pink and blue nestled in a cat napping sized shelf in the wardrobe.

    Never one to hold back on trying new napping technology, in I went for my well earned power nap. Well, 5 minutes of tossing & turning on a lumpy thin mat & being knotted up in lots of little cords is not my idea of a nap, and not in the least energising. Frankly if that's how peeps get a power nap then I'm surprised you get any work done, let alone naps! purrs.

    Now having extracted myself from the strings I took to the bed in search of an "un-powered" nap, oblivious to the fact that today being cleaning day, peep had removed the duvet cover and also the throw that usually resides on my half of bed. I closed my eyes and started to knead my way into a nice comfy spot in the sun.  Now my claws being nice and sharp found little resistance in the old and now bare duvet so I went on kneading and turning in a sort of blind ecstasy (am I allowed to say that in a family blog?) until happy in myself, I gracefully dropped down.  Now it was at this point I started to sneeze, and each time my nose seemed to be getting more irritated. I opened my eyes to see what can only describe as the scene of some poor pigeons demise, lacking only the pigeon and the demise bit, but with plenty of the feathery stuff.

   EEK.... I thought, this really doesn't look good & there was clearly no way of extracting myself from this incident without embarrassment or a part share of the blame! Though as peep had removed the duvet cover and throw, I didn't feel entirely responsible! As things worked out, peep walked in just as I weighing my exit strategy. Now, had I been a Calico or one of the those fluff-boys I may well have got away with the feathers stuck to me being overlooked, but Tux as I am, I was pretty much holding the smoking toaster as it were (this being a family blog and all). Now peep looked at me and then the duvet and did a funny thing, he laughed. Not given to much laughter is my peep, but he actually chuckled then laughed & petted me on the head and went and fetched the vacuum cleaner.

    Hmm...I thought, this is a bit strange, I expected at least mutterings and utterances of sending me to Battersea Dogs Home! But no, not so much as a bark out of the peep, in fact all seemed well! Now there was a chance I was dreaming this all, so I felt my brow and even gave myself a nip and I was neither fevered or asleep. Peep also looked well, although to be on safe side I gave him a nip for good measure as he was tidying the feathers and, judging by the reaction he was not dreaming either!

    Still much confused by his reaction, I headed to the kitchen to await my supper. On arrival I couldn't help but notice a large bag residing on my throne, yep actually ON MY THRONE. Now I must explain at this point that I had, on moving in, laid claim to a throne. Peep called it a stool, it is however clearly a throne, being made of wood with a padded orange and gold insert inserted in the middle. Here I sit daily to await my breakfast and supper to be served (and also any other time when there's half a chance of some treats from the kitchen). Well today my throne had clearly been usurped by a bag, a big overstuffed bag, looking very much like a very fat Wood Pigeon. The audacity of it I thought, as I did the only thing a self respecting Princess could do, I jumped on it!

    Now in hindsight, and to be fair most things don't look good from the hind, this wasn't such a good idea as the bag the stool and I bounced, clattered and tumbled across the floor.  EEK... I thought, two messes in one day really was chancing my paw and bound to get peep upset, for sure. I could see no option but to flee the scene & plead ignorance at another time. So out the flap I went, pretty sharpish I can tell you, like a cat about to be scalded or is it scolded? well at the very least scowled at!

    Now on my return, all seemed well, the offending bag had been removed and the stool righted and my supper in place. Clearly peep had seen the injustice and un-usurped the usurper leaving me to my throne. Yep, he may at times be slow, but he learns. So, duly fed I headed for my "post supper" and a pre "main nap" nap. To my horror found aforesaid bag on my bed! Yep, this bag had clearly an intent to take over my bed space after failing to take the throne! I wasn't about to take it lying down! No Sir, I'm a cat of action (between naps) and I did what every self respecting Princess would do, I leaped at it, again, this time with claws out to avoid any slippage.

    Now at some point in my flight, and picture this in slow motion if you will, I noticed that the bag was empty, and that spread neatly on the bottom of  the bed was a brand new (and clean) duvet. EEK... I thought (well more Eeeeeeeeeeek in slow motion), and I did the feline equivalent of handbrake turn and dropped on the bed. Hmm... I thought walking towards the duvet, this is all a bit new and well different, and dare I say it, pricey too! Peeps clearly can't be well as he's spent some money! Checking my paws and stowing my claws, I took those first tentative steps onto the fresh cotton. Oh it was so cool and smooth and looked so like a fresh fall of snow that, as yet, didn't have any of those tell tale paw prints across it!

   I fell in love there and then and started to knead myself in for a well earned and much needed nap. I just couldn't help myself, it really just happened on instinct, and now fearing the worst, I looked down and all I saw were some neat small holes in the fabric, but no feathers! Strange that, usually there's feathers in these things! Being the enquiring sort of girl that I am, I padded over to the bag, and saw that it said "Sheep Wool Duvet". Hmm... duvets made of sheep? clearly peeps is after counting himself to sheep, sorry to sleep!

   Now soft and gleaming white as it was, I couldn't resist any longer. My Mama always said the proof of the nip is in the tasting, so not holding back I settled myself in (forgoing the kneading) to conduct a "test nap", just to make sure it would be OK for the peep you understand. Well I can tell you I heard not a quack, bleat or cock-a-doodle-do out of that duvet, which was something of a shame as it happened, as I overslept and missed my late supper slot and could really have done with a wake up call!

   Later that evening whilst we both nestled in and on the duvet, peep said he'd been looking for a reason to get rid of the old one, and my shredding it had been just what he needed, and I deserved my cream, for sure! Well, can you believe it, after all the upset and stress he put me through, the usurping, un-usurping and sneezing, he tells me it was me doing him a big favour! Me thinks this is clearly a two (or maybe a three) bowls of cream worth of a big favour, to ease the stress & psychological trauma you know.

   Oh and in case peep gets to see this later, just so you know and don't sleep in, I'll be on my throne early tomorrow for Breakfast, at five AM I think would be nice! purrs.



20 comments:

  1. I'm glad you got things as they should be Erin!

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    1. Thanks, alls well that ends well, in a round about sort of way.!
      Purrs, Erin

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  2. A new duvet? Hmmm We thought ya' just got a new one. Did you shred da new one already? MOL Mommy puts a blanky over ours so we won't do just dat. But it's okay, da blanky is so nice and snuggly we wouldn't wanna touch dat old comfurter she thinks she likes so much. MOL Glad ya'll are enjoyin' your new duvet. And your kitty sized sleepin' spot on da shelf. We need to see ifin we can find us one of those shleves. Big hugs fur all.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. HI Dezi and Raena. I do recommend wool duvets, very comfy and don't get too hot either. It was a great accompaniment for the new mattress too, though in hindsight I would not have the memory foam again. Definitely worth taking over a shelf in a wardrobe and making it a home from home.
      Purrs, Erin

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  3. ERin..ewe got that rite...afturr all that stress & tur moil....yur peepz owez ewe... BIG TIME...brek fest at 4:53 we say !! ☺☺☺♥♥♥ happee week a head ~~~~~~~

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    1. Hi Guys, thank you. I'm glad you see my ordeal is well worth Breakfast in bed, and I have forwarded my demands to the catering staff for their attention post haste. If I'm lucky I can have it backdated too. MOL
      Purrs, Erin

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  4. I'm tellin' you, gettin' (and keepin') the attention of peeps is like pullin' teeth. No? YES. purrs

    Purrs,
    Seville

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    1. Oh my, yes. Peep has such a short attention span I do have to apply reasonable force to make my point. It's amazing the power of a set of claws kneading on ones tummy. Purrs, Erin

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  5. Replies
    1. Thanks guys. Spurred on by your approval I am pushing for four bowls and some nip. If I get extra I will happily share the extra. I wonder if they do cream resistant envelopes?
      Purrs, Erin

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  6. Claws are for kneading and shredding, and for protecting ourselves from Da Enemies! I never understood hoomons who get all up in our business when we use our claws, especially when they know very well what we do with them. My mom had her first couple of cats declawed after their shredded the sofa while she was at work. But then she saw how they never really got over the trauma. So she made a deal with the rest of us. Don't shred the sofa. You can go after anything else. Deal. So far so good. Purrs!

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    1. Your mom made a good deal there, and I know you guys will stick with it too. cats and claws go together like Cats and cream and nip, talking of which I've made myself rather peckish. purrs Erin

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  7. I am glad you have a new duvet fitting of a princess like you.

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    1. Thank You. I thoroughly recommend a wool duvet, not too hot or too cold. But don't shout that too loud as those bears maybe about and I don't intend to be sharing it. Mouses!
      Purrs, Erin

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  8. How exciting a new duvet! Sounds like you really loved it, what with all the kneading going on.

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    Replies
    1. Definitely, you just can't beat a wool duvet!
      Purrs,
      Erin

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  9. Dearest Erin,
    Mes too has found that my human has the attention span of a gnat..if gnats has attention spans...she is always babbling and flitting about hither and yon when she should bes petting, cuddling and feeding mes! And a new Duvet!!! Mes LOVES my new one that came with the gold heart pillow. Kneading them makes them purrfect for napping.
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. Dearest Nellie...
      I do think we need to get them better trained to serve our needs. Personally I need two of my peep as this one gets tired way too quick...
      Oh my, yes, new duvet are so fun... yours sounds delightful, and a Gold Heart I think is a true and worthy reflection of your proper status.

      Lots of purrs and paw kisses, Erin

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  10. Hmph. I wish my Momma had been so merry when I ripped the stuffing out of her comforter! I was CLEARLY doing her a favor, right? ~Bear Cat
    ps - Do you have any feathers left? I'm asking for a friend of course ...

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    1. Hehehe, I dare say if it had been another comforter your peep wouldn't have minded, but they do get attachments to some strange things, don't they. My peep is the same, but there does come a time when things have to pass. As to feathers I can do you a large pillow case full times about three. We now have wool duvets and pillows which have no feathers at all. Strangely they dont even bleet!
      Purrs Erin

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