Peepers, I'm HOME!
Hmm, seems silent, maybe too silent!
Where are you?
Hmm, talk about a ghost Palace, I think I've heard more life in the wood wormed sideboard. Mouses!
Heck, maybe peep has been abducted!
But who by, aliens?
Nah can't be, peep is way too boring and definitely not worth experimenting on... mind you there is always the dress sense.
Oh heck! I hope they don't take peep as an example of how to blend in, as that they most definitely won't. Mouses!
I wonder if they're listed in the telephone directory, like ET, I could ring and warn them........ so long as I can reverse the charges that is!
Or maybe it could be a group of outraged Mailman, trying to ransom peep in return for return of their bicycles that have been littering the moat?
I really do need to have words with the Kraken on that point. I mean it just can't go on, and we all have a responsibility to protect the wildlife from litter, and so if you're going to eat the mailman it is really good form to recycle the bicycles. Purrs
OK, so both of those options really don't hold water as I'm fairly certain anyone who abducted peep would want to get rid fairly quick, so I wonder, where oh where has my little peep gone?
******* Slight groaning sound and thud! ******
Erin to the Rescue.......
****** Seconds later ******
Right, where is it!
I knew when I heard that bang that we had trouble. I can always tell you know, yup, its my innate feline second sense to detect these things. Purrs
I said to myself, banging, that has to be peeps fending off those ferocious mice again. No way could it be anything else, I said, as no other banging goes on in this Palace without my permission, especially banging from the DIY perspective. Phew, that is way to dangerous a pastime for a peep with too many opposable thumbs, and two left feet to trip over.
OK peeps, put down that lump hammer and leave.......
OH MY MOUSES!
What have you been doing!
That is either one very scary mouse or you've been....
You haven't, tell me you haven't been!
Oh Bast, please tell me you've not been trying to 'DO DIY', again! After the last time and everything I said about ambulances and insurance. Not to mention the public inquiry into why the villages were without power and water for a week! And not to mention, though I feel I ought, those electric eels that got rushed to the specialist as 'SOMEONE' had fitted them with earthing wires. Mouses!
Oh my, spill the beans then, what sort of a mess do I have to clear up now?
What's that peep? There are No screwdrivers, saws and no wires, you say?
What about hammers? I mean you always go overboard with hammers and nails, especially with those funny nails with the spiral grooves on. They sure do take some beating. purrs
Tidying up what?!
Look peep ol' cluttered one, it isn't called tidying up when you get one clutter, shift and shake it up and put it somewhere else, that's called dusting.
Anybody and everybody knows you just can't move things around without throwing something out. It stands to reason, peep, that if you move stuff you let air into it so it expands, a bit like a pillow being fluffed up. So what you actually end up with is a bigger pile than you started. Mouse's!
Now if you have a cat in your house you will notice that we sit on piles of things, in an attempt to flatten them down for peeps. Now occasionally this does go awry, and some cats do mistake laptops for needing compressing. But that isn't their fault, no ma'am as likely or not them there cats have seen the instructions on file compression or helping get more space on the hard drive. Purrs
Still that aside peepers, what you doing, in the sense of why do I now have you wrecking the bedroom, a perfectly good bedroom as it happens, one set out in a lovely race track pattern to facilitate my new mouse training camp? I had it just how I liked it too.
Yup, I could do a really great figure of eight, starting under the dresser. From there I'd head down the short straight through the pits, namely the bathroom, and head around Rabid Rabbit Slipper corner, no need to explain that one. Mouses!
From there I'd be head back through the pits, stopping for change of claws and to allow mousie to have a breather, then straight back out heading for the water complex and then down the home straight to the winners enclosure at the water bowl. Quick half hour training works wonders for me, though does seem to be hard on the consumables... er... mouses!
Still, it's only for fun, and the mice get a free dinner out of it. OK to be fair, I get a free diner out of it, and they a ride home, when you find them that is. Purrs
OK peep, enough of this jovial banter, what on earth is going on?
You can't just sort stuff out like this, for starters we haven't got permits. And, if you do manage to throw anything out, where's it going to go? The refuse collection isn't for another week, and the dustbin is full and overflowing from the last attempts to tidy the attics, and that's not forgetting the garden makeover Ann, from Zoolatry, did for us on her last visit.
And that topiary is superb by the way, and she even managed to get our pal Speedy, the blogging bunny, in too! Capability Ann, she should be called, AMAZING work, and just in time for spring.
Hmm... that gives me an idea. Peep, ol' lost one, what the Palace needs is a MAZE! Yup, I know we cant grow a hedge, and I'm certainly not letting you near my own personal hedge, ever, so what we can do is ........
****** Sometime later...******
Also It's multi functional and doubles as a filling area for your collection of leaflets on how to do DIY correctly, namely the receipts from the tradesmen who came to put right all your attempts at doing DIY wrongly. Mouses!
Anyways, I have laid it out in in a very fetching figure of eight pattern, shear inspiration that, and have placed the pit stop.... er... rest area, for the tired and confused user, near the short straight, that will be the row of your filing cabinets to you, past the old bathroom suite at the edge of the moat, taking care not to avoid those bicycles, and round the gibbet with those rabid weasel like slippers hanging on. Nice touch that, and hopefully ward off evil too. Mouses!
OK peepers, I'll let you have the first go. Now if you'll just enter by that pile of unused home cooking books, I'll just shut you in.
Now if your not back by the end of the day I'll send a search party for you in the morning. I cant afford to pay overtime, and you wouldn't want to upset my own training, and nap schedule, now would you? Purrs
Alas, we didn't make the cut for Blog Paws Nose to Nose finals this year, but for all our pals that did, including Dash Kitten, Seville from Nerissa's Life, Savannah from Savannahs Paw tracks, Bear Kat and Momma Kat, Herman and Dori from Wonderpurr, A Tonks Tail, and ALL the new pals and finalists we'll get to meet at BlogPaws, I wish you all the Very Best of Luck!
It is no small achievement to be selected, and each and every one can hold their heads up high, whiskers out straight, and purr very loudly in deed, no matter the outcome on the night!