Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Mechanisation and the Modern Mouser.... The manual edition!


Right.

And..... Five.......

Four......

Three......

Two......

ONE!

Goooood Moooorning PALACE! This is your you friendly six o'clock wake up call!

It's Wednesday and half way through the week!

Yup it's all downhill from here on in, especially if you turn left after the drawbridge and head to the stream. That's a very popular route with guests, and the rainwater too. Come to think about it, the guests are usually in the rainwater when the moat is in flood.

Goooood Moooorning PALACE! The weather outside is.... er.... dark and potentially wet. Hang on, I'll just check my stats on that...

****** Patter of paws across the stone floors, down flights of steps and out catflap ******


****** Elapse of a few seconds******


****** Crash of cat flap, and sounds of squidgy paw steps ******

Phew! I really must learn how to slide down and up the banisters. And have you noticed how there's never a doorman with an umbrella when you need one. Mouses!

Goooood Moooorning PALACE! This is your friendly early morning wake up call, the weather is sunny and the day is going to be absolutely fantastic..... OK NOT if you live around here it isn't, but what the heck, thought I'd share that to brighten your day as you head off in the dank dark miserable gloomy rain to the satanic mills.

Goooood Moooorning PALACE! This is...... er..... Peep, ol' wooly one, you don't seem to be entering into the spirit of this whole morning rise and shine with good cheer thing. I thought I agreed that if you start they day off with a zing and a bounce in your step your depression would go away and you would come home revitalised after a hard gruelling twelve hour day at the mill.

OK so that spring may just come from jumping over a mouse in transit across the flagstones, but same difference really.

And what helps you helps me too! After all a happy peep is a peep that has a happy cat as this happy cat will get more cream and those lovely freeze dried chicken strips. Those ones that go really well with my meds... And if I'm happy I purr and spend more time with you, well with you in mind and spirit, as a Princess still has duties to attend to and you are never home during the day to be with me.

Peep? Are you listening to anything I'm saying, even remotely? Look if you can't speak, just wave that hand in some sort of coherent gesture and I'll take that as a yes.

Oh my word, there is absolutely no need for that! Being a family blog, I really DON'T think THAT sort of two finger gesture counts. Mouses!

Goooood Moooorning PALACE! This is a public service announcement! Due to lack of interest, commitment, and bad weather, this early morning wake up call will be moved to a more conducive time. I'll be taking suggestions from interested parties as to possible alternate times in the next ten seconds.....

I hear three AM from the rather dazzling TUX with the the stylish mini ears in the front row.

Quick vote on that. All those in favour, say meow!

MEOW!


Carried unanimously, and thank you to the stunning TUX Princess in the front row for the deciding vote. Peeps and gentlepeeps, the new service will begin at three AM tomorrow!

Hang on, seems like it's only TWO AM now! Oooh great news, I can get to do my early morning wake up call today!

OK peps, better you get some sleep, and pretend none of this ever happened, and think happy thoughts and how much money you've saved not buying that new alarm clock, and lets face it, this is way more fun! purrs



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Happy Wednesday everyone! 


On this week's Wind Back Wednesday, or WBW as I like to call it, it is my pleasure to revisit our 6th post, called 'Mechanization and the Modern Mouser'. Needless to say, given peeps inability to operate small electrical devices, things haven't really changed much here at the Palace in the last two years. One thing we have however now got is a hand whisk. Now if anyone knows how this can be converted into a TV remote, I'll happily forward a selection of mini Cream pots and a slice of my best three year old Mature Canadian Cheddar! 



Mechanization and the Modern Mouser.



The Internet is a wonder thing, you can go to distant strange places....see amazing monuments....chase exotic mouses.....hmm I wonder if them mouses are spicy?

   Anyways, there's things that you can see and do on the web that you couldn't do or see before, and you can boldly go where no cat has gone before! Well maybe the last bit isn't true, cos I suspect that a cats been everywhere before a peep has been, and probably slept on it too! I even found on the web that in 1963 a French cat named FĂ©licette made it into space and back again! Apparently, though little reported, she confirmed the moon wasn't made of cheese and that there wasn't sufficient a mouses issue to warrant a second trip. She apparently duly slept the rest of the flight and refused the offer of another on the grounds that the G force warped her whiskers.

   This could also open up a whole new industrial sector, feline automotive products could save the Motor Industry, road side caterers could abound, though ironically I'm told that peep caterers don't actually serve nip or mice! And of course the road industry would flourish as new cat lanes would be needed, without those multicoloured lights, they'd only cause traffic jams as you know how us cats like to stop & look at a sparkly lights! Mind profits would be small on each car, well I'm not particularly big and so I figure the cars wouldn't be either. I'd have to get peeps to buy it for me, not having pockets or pocket money, but I'm sure I could pay him back in mouses, yep I could do that, he's always happy to see a mouse, jumps up and down he does.

 The idea of travel though does intrigue me, and whilst generally I do think us cats pretty much know that the best and safest place is at home, we all at some point get the urge to go exploring. Now there is of course one big bar to us cats driving, which is we wouldn't be able to get the necessary licences, or even provisional licences to get started. This all seems really rough in these enlightened days when peep children can get them, and they're way less sensible at 18 than I was at two. Just think, we could get our own meals and litter (ones that we like!) and even pick up the right colour paint and save some unnecessary design faux pas, if you get my drift!


     I did read in one of the Gentlecat Nerissa's journals that his brother, Seville, had mastered Time Travel! Wowzer for sure! This is one invention that every cat should have. Think on it..........OK you don't have to think on it but if you have, that's enough now already! Right, yes, having thought on it just imagine that you've finished a well deserved (dessert) mouse and find that there's no seconds! Darn catering fowl up! or is that mouse up? anyways no worries, you hop into your time machine and hey presto, Toms your Uncle your back to the where and when you got the mouse and off you go again. Unlimited mouses or is that mouse? same difference I suspect! purrs

   Talking of mouses, reminds me that peep bought a electronic mouse trap home last month! Of all the nerve, with the mouser supreme in the house he gets a gadget to catch mouses, whatever next...maybe robot dogs walked by robot peeps, for peeps that get stuck in their sofas? Anyways, I came home one evening with a mouse in tow (small children please look away at this point) and started a game of tag under the bed. Now all was going well up until said playmate ran into this little box. I'd not really noticed it before (the box that is) as it was tucked in a dark corner under the bed, the sort of dark corner you always get in the movies, with the strange chilling music and cobwebs. Well we don't have any chilling music (bar peeps snoring) but there were some cob webs for sure, and there among them was this box, black menacing and mysterious, into which the mouse ran.

   No sooner than it had gone in a little green light went on and then.....nothing? Thinking it was a bit like a rest room, with a light to indicate "occupied", I stuck around for a bit and then a bit more, but still nothing. Hmm....this clearly wasn't acceptable in my mousing rules, so I gave the box a tap then a prod then a swat, and still no mouse came out of the little hole. Had the mouse acquired the teleportation device I had read about? had it somehow gone out the other side? who knew, and frankly, neither were telling! wowser!

   Never one to be bested, and not least by a box, I decided to carry on my practise where I left off, and chased the box around for a bit. Mindful of the disaster with the AS US, I abandon the game when I got near the door and headed on outside for some proper practise. When I returned with another mouse, I headed on upstairs and was presented with peep under the bed with the little black box, sounds sort of like that board game Clue huh? Crawling out from under the bed, he looked somewhat sheepishly at me and confessed the black box was just in case I lost one! Me lose a mouse? never! I just keep them safe till its time for their supper! By way of making sure the next mouse wasn't zapped away in the black box, I popped him in the bath. It has to be said that peep wasn't amused at bath time, but then again neither was the mouse which got an early bath.

   Later that week, to make up for the black box technology debacle, peep bought me a mechanical mouse thing to play with rather than mice, though I suspect he thinks I've been on the cream too much again, as though I would. Anyways, it sat there like no mouse you have ever seen, a red tail stuck out from underneath an 18 inch diameter lemon cloth. The tail then rotated randomly backwards and forwards around the edge of the cloth. Now I'm no wimp and I purr in the face of danger so this was just silly, way beneath a Princess for sure, so I duly ignored it when peep put it on.

   Now I have to say, and that this may sound odd (which will probably be the cheese I'm eating as I write this) that, even though I knew it wasn't real I just couldn't help but be drawn to it. Despite my disdain, I just had to know I was better than this mechanical mouse, after all I am the Mouser en Residence and have a position to maintain, and it wouldn't look good on the resume, no ma'am.

   So when peep next switched it on, I just leaped from my day room, which if I may digress for a mo is a rather natty box peep bought me, came with a free monitor too, that's a screen and not a large lizard! Anyhows, I pounced and spun and lunged at this rotating tail until I cornered it, well to be fair circles don't have corners so I did what any self respecting Princess would do, I sat on it! Job done.

   I must say it tickled a bit as it tried to escape, but in the end I can safely say it stopped dead. Honor duly satisfied, I left peep scratching his head and wondering if a repair man was in order or if I'd just used up all the batteries. Well that's what you get for trying to mechanise your cat, you just cant beat good old fashioned feline speed, patience and tireless dedication to the pursuit of the mouse....or nip....or cream, yep definitely cream. purrs

   Needless to say peep hasn't bought anything else mechanical home recently, twice bitten as it were, so I think normal mousing can be resumed... now where did I los... er.... place that mouse?




21 comments:

  1. I can't even do a 3 AM wakeup call here cuz usually my momma is still awake!

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    Replies
    1. Mouses! You'd maybe have to do a 3pm call?
      Purrs, Erin

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  2. The only mice we have seen here are fake fuzzy ones Erin. I'm not sure a mechanical mouse would be very tasty!

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    1. Hmm, that is a problem for sure, and I can certify that mechanical mice are as tough as tough can be, even with cream on, Mouses!

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  3. Erin, remember that movie 'bout mornin' in Vietnam? Well.. It has been a really long time since I saw it but if I remember correctly, I think that guy in the movie had a loudspeaker or somethin'. I think you need somethin' like that. Try E-Bay. PURRS.

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    Replies
    1. Oooh is a loud speaker like a Town Cryer? I mean they're VERY loud speakers. Mouses!
      ERin

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  4. Mechanical mouses? Well around here we just have mechanical ball track toys who are played with by the maniacal boys... me i would rather sit in Mom's lap upside down for a good snooze while I dictate to Mom what to write on the computer... 3am wake up calls? oh my yes mom needs those to remind her to monitor the flushing water device near the cold bathtub that makes a wonderful place to play with bouncy balls. And I have been known to take the metal grid out of the bath tub drain in my younger days
    -Katie Kitty Too, who am now 13 years young.

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    Replies
    1. HI Happy 13 years young! do you get cake for that too? Hmm my peep does that monitoring thing, generally when I get up for a drink in the bath.. so peep nips in and lets me drink from the tap, that way it is always fresh. Purrs, Erin

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  5. You may have to have wake up calls every hour!

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    Replies
    1. Now I like that thinking! get the peep into the habit of them.... will be easier in the long run, for sure! Thanks, I shall schedule them for tonight :)
      Purrs, Erin

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  6. A mechanical one is good for practice so you can catch the real ones easier.

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    Replies
    1. I had never thought about that! Hmm I'll have to get peep to fix it then.... OK peep won't get to fix it but somebody else will.... Do you know any mechanical mouse fixers perchance?
      Purrs, ERin

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  7. Erin, why don't mew hire a Town Crier, sorry mew need a Palace Crier saves mew having to caterwaul effury time! MOL We got a wind-up mouse the other week, Fudge the Barbarian loves it!

    Happy weekend

    Basil & Co xox

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    Replies
    1. Now that sounds a very good idea, so long as they don't flood the Palace out with tears, that would be too much, for sure, what with all the rain we've had!
      Purrs, ERin

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  8. As I always say, if you can't beat 'em ... sit on 'em until they stop moving! My Momma wanted to get one of those for me but her royal cheapness decided that since I don't play with any of the toys she buys me, it would just be a waste. Hmph. Like watching the human play with toys she got me and is trying to induce me to play with is a waste! PLENTY of entertainment, if you know what I mean. I also observed that my Momma would make a horrible cat. No rhythm! ~Bear Cat

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    1. Clearly we both have duff peeps, mine cant dance for toffee, or anything else useful, like cream! Can't dance, cook, sing, cook, or decorate. In fact totally useless. Still despite these small short comings, we loves them none the less. Purrs, Erin

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  9. That mechanical mouse made noises that were truly revolting. So neither one of us paid any attention to it. We know that no respectable schmousie would ever make such noises

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    1. HI Savannah, mine sure does make some strange sounds too. I thought it might be some strange sort of hybrid hamster with a long tail, the way it zipped around and about as it did. Still this one ran out of batteries and I won! Purrs, Erin

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  10. MOL Oh Erin, you're so funny. Furst let us say we luv your "mini" ears. We got a real laff at dat comment. And secondly, we luv dat cat's meow toy. 'Course we've never seen a real mouse. Sis Lexi wore our furst one plumb out. And then Raena came along and in one play session, she totally destroyed our sedond one. Da girl wasn't even 12 weeks old and she had mastered it and tore it up. Alas, no more cat's meow here. MOL Hope ya' have a great weekend and da weather clears up. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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  11. HI Dezi HI Raena, thank you for dropping by. My mini ears are quite fun, I have to admit, and quite an ice breaker at parties... not that I use them for that as it would be far too cold! MOL
    Mouses! if Raena can break it in one play session then she has a great hunting prowess, mind you that would get very costly. Better to stick with Nip Mice from here on in! Purrs and head butts, Erin

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  12. Oh, you give wake up calls, too? How nice of you! I hope the peeps reward you nicely for those early morning wake up calls.

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