Saturday, 4 March 2017

The art of Romance......

So, you're home are you?

OK, that was a rhetorical question as you clearly are home as in you are standing there hang dog expression, on the door mat looking for all the world like a wet puppy that has too much time in the mill pond chasing ducks.

That is you, isn't it? I mean it has been a while since I saw you.

When was it? Last night, the night before or maybe before that? I forget you know, a stranger you may as well be these days!

Ah, yes I have this vague recollection of a figure, a tall, slender and dark stranger coming into my life, and us spending the night together. Side by side on the wool duvet, exchanging sips of Creme de Niptini...... giggling and purring like kittens...... and then, in the heat of the night.....

Oooh that reminds me, I do need to have that electric blanket fixed, it seems to be set on steamy. Mouses!

Anyways to recap, there we'd be, side by side, making biscuits in the heat of the night and we would........ well you know, we'd.....

What's that, ol' stranger?



Hanky Panky in the Palace!......


WHAT!

Absolutely NOT! We'd be swapping tales and tails and other mouse parts of course, well this is a family blog and I'll countenance no hanky panky in this Palace, panky is reserved for Shrove Tuesday. Mouses!

Anyways enough of my dream, what I seem to have here standing before me, dripping on my nice clean rug is something akin to a pot bellied, drowned long haired Red Setter.

I mean, you come in and out of my life on a daily basis, never so much as a by your leave as to what we might be doing that day or week or month.

Do you know, the last time we sat down together was 1840! I mean that is yonks ago, ages, eons, and a fair few mouses I can tell you!

Whats that, ol' stranger, neither of us were born then, you say?

Look, I do think I know best on this subject, I even put it down in my diary. I do keep one you know, for tax purposes, alibi's and just in case I get a summons for speeding whilst in possession of a mouse. Though I do take special care to go paws free when ever possible.

But there is always that one moment when you have to take your paws off the road and take a call. Call of nature that is, and it is always without fail that there is a traffic crow around the other side of the hedge. Mouses!

Mind you there are so many reckless cats on the roads these days, I see them all the time, jumping red lights trying to get home after a night out at friends and lovers. Or those all nipped up from a night on the tiles, swaggering across the road without a care in the world, holding up all the traffic and causing havoc in the streets. And those that try to serenade the stars or wake their peeps to be let in, or call round at their mates for the hair of the dog!

Now that would be something to give you a hair ball. Mouses!




A lesson to be learned......


Anyways, it says here in my own paw writing, that it was 1840. A Wednesday to be precise, and the weather was surprisingly clement for the time of year. In fact I do recall that day, as it only rained for 23 hours rather than the usual 27 in the day, the cat day that is. Well the cat day I work to.

Yup I distinctly recall you, if it is you, coming in at twenty to seven and actually sitting down and not going to sleep straight away. Yup, it was a red letter day that, well I only had a red pen to write it, but I got food, treats and somewhere warm to sit on!

It was so warm after I gently eased you off..... OK who am I kidding, I had to evict you from that there chair, my chair, with the threat of wanting to go into the courtyard garden, which of course I didn't, well not the first three times. Purrs

Anyways, I thought it was a worthwhile lesson in feline etiquette and social standing... er... sitting.

Nice and warm it was in that chair, very comfy, well all bar the draft whistling through the great hall, from you, ol' stranger, leaving the veranda doors open. Mouses!

Can you imagine my surprise when I came in the front door and found the other doors still ajar and all the heat from the fire going out into the howling gale! And rain coming in, too! Can you? No probably not if you're my peep!

Anyways, thank goodness that peep had the sense to stay seated asleep in that chair, to fend off the rain and chill for me. I do hope that blanket got dried, I mean we can't have my best tartan throw shrinking to the size of a serviette, now can I?

OK, so what I need to do is make sure YOU are my peep. In fact what I need is for YOU to show me that YOU are my peep!

No if and buts, or wet puppy looks and heading off to bed, this here feline needs to know she is loved, and not just an object to be brushed past, or collided into like the Titanic. I mean if you're my peep, you'd actually love me and you'd spend time with me, awake! Not just sleep in my bed, eat my food and make a mess of the place with pizza crumbs and leaving pairs of shoes stockings everywhere.

I mean this is a two way relationship, love is a two way emotion. It isn't, I love you I love you not. You can't just move into my life and then out again, on a daily basis, but you do and expect me to just accept it and love you nonetheless.

And the abuse I have to suffer, the trauma and psychological distress. The verbal assaults on my person..... I took you on and gave you all my love, my heart and soul. I bring you all you desire and what do I get? I'll tell you what I get.... I get raised voices and swearing and cussing, not to mention all the knocking around you inflict upon me.

***** Sobbing *****

But I love you still, I know not why, but for all the cruelty I love you.....

Is it my fault? Seems like it is all my fault, for everything!


Laying the blame at your feet......


I bring you mice, with love, and you scream and shout.

I play with my toys, show the gifts of youth and life and share them with you, for you to use too, and all you do is step on them or trip over them and scream and wail.

I come and wake you each day, without fail, and all you can do is grope around for the light and bang into me looking for the treats.

Do I deserve this?

I do not!

If we are to co-habit, be friends and partners, to love each other, it has to be a full time thing.

Don't just pick me up and put me down, like when I go to the consultants.

What I want is to be.... Well, what I want is.... is....

****** Pause ******

****** Sound of drawbridge raising and door closing ******

Hi yer peep, head on over will you ol' pal, I need some literary advice as to what it is I want...

I am completely stuck when it comes to writing these deep romantic argument and emotional scenes.

I mean what we have is cool, in the good sense, but what of those poor peeps out there that have nothing, that can't feel love, that are abused and lost?

How do I deal with that to get the emotion over? The passion and feeling of a journey through the wilderness in search of a dream and having it dashed time and time again, like reaching out for a mirage. The expectations of years being dashed by the inadequacies of others problems.

Whats that?

Have I thought of being a Mystery/Adventure writer, you say?

On account of the body count around the Palace, you say?

Hmm, I'm not sure that really counts as a crime. And when you look at the greats, such as our pals Herman and Dori at Wonderpurr Detective Agency, or Basil and the Heathen Hoard, and Agatha Christie, I do think I should leave that to the professionals!

Mind you, I could always branch out into educational material, like 'Mouseholes for dummies' way more fun than that one of yours called Windows for dummies. Boy was that boring, unless you're a double glazing salespeep of course. Mouses!

Anyways, peep, come plonk yourself down here and give me a tickle. Hmm, better still, you go and get out of those wet clothes, slip into something soft and comfy, and I'll bring you something nice and warm for your supper.

Whoever said romance was dead has clearly never known the joy of a warm mouse and a bowl of cream. Purrs





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It's Sunday Selfie time!



Please join me now as we enter the Sunday Selfies hosted by the fantastic Kitties Blue: XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, and Cooper Murphy, from The Cat on My Head blog 











The Sunday selfies is a wonderful weekly celebration of blogs and bloggers from across the world, and shares stories and pictures for others to enjoy. 


Why not join the fun, by adding the code from our hosts, a link is on their page, and posting your own selfie.



In this weeks selfie, I can be clearly seen hard at work! Honest I was just practising getting my easy on! Well that is my story and I'm sticking to it. MOL

To see what all our pals have been up to this week, please click the links/images below, and enjoy the HOP!
















54 comments:

  1. Romance is a tricky thing Princess,xx Speedy

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    Replies
    1. You're telling me. I am definitely sticking to non romance from now on. Purrs ERin

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  2. Hi there new friend. Nice to meet you. You are a beautiful ladycat - swoon!

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    1. Hi Mario, you say the nicest things to little me, and lovely to meet you too. You have some very good looks yourself. Have a wonderful and flu free week. Purrs, ERin

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  3. That is one terrific selfie. Romance is a tricky thing. Good luck. Take care.

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    1. Thank you, I am learning slowly about this romance thing, but it takes some figuring out. No wonder peeps are always getting married and divorced. Mouses!
      Purrs, ERin

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  4. We love, love, love your header. it is fit for a princess. Great selfie sweetie.

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    1. Hi Mario, thank you, the one and only Ann ADamus did the rebuild on the Palace for me, quite a lady is Ann, and a demon with a paint brush a pointing trowel! Purrs, ERin

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  5. I can see how hard you're working in your selfie! So pretty!

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    1. Thank you, it's nice to have my skill appreciated. I keep telling peep this, but alas it falls on stony ears... er... ground. Purrs, ERin

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  6. Replies
    1. Thank you, you two, too! Purrs, ERin

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  7. I hear online dating is picking up at KittiesOnly.com, well, not really. I agree with Speedy, it can be a tricky thing.

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    1. Aww, just when I thought there was a hope... Mind you, I think AvailablePrinces.com may be a better site? Hmm, romance, do we really need it? Purrs, ERin

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  8. You are a real artist, making a selfie, laying on the back with closed eyes, lol !

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    1. If I can share a secret, it was not I that pressed the button, but my apprentice, which I think sort of counts too! Have a lovely week. Purrs, ERin

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  9. You'll be one independently wealthy feline when you get that whole romance thing figured out. Great selfies of a real princess! What Prince Charming could resist you.

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    1. Really, do you think I could cut it as a novelist of the Romance? Peep doesn't think so, but then peep only reads the crossword and Sudoku, which is hardly the same thing. If I could do it, I could buy a whole new Palace kitchens, with built in cream, and nip mice dispensers! I bet even Jilly Cooper doesn't have those! Purrs, ERin

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  10. Very cute selfie. I would love to rub that adorable tummy. I am sorry you have been so neglected, that is not right.

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    1. I know, my writing mirrors my life... well to a point. I'm hoping peep will here my words and love me more. Purrs ERin

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  11. Erin, I had no idea you were so ardent and deeply devoted! I sure hope ol' peep is worthy. :)

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    1. Oh I am, but never in public. Peep, well peep is special, I've just not quite figured out the why and how, MOL! Have a great week! Purrs, ERin

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  12. What a lovely selfie! You have a cute, fluffy tummy. It's not good that you got ignored, a beautiful princess like you!

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

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    1. Thank you, my floofy bits are my best bits, peep says, along with my ears and smile and personality I say. Have a great week. Purrs, ERin

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  13. Oh my cat! That belly! Who could resist? ~Momma
    See what I have to deal with? The humans just don't understand! And they are just WAY beyond hope! All we want is to be understood! ~Bear Cat

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    1. My tummy is available for rubs anytime your mom pleases, assuming it's not otherwise engaged mouse hunting. MOL
      I agree, Bear, we sure do have our work cut out for us don't we!? And this was never in the job description!

      Purrs, ERin

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  14. What a lovely selfie! You have a cute, fluffy tummy. It's not good that you got ignored, a beautiful princess like you!

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

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    1. Aww, thank you, I have to limit the rubs peep gets to have and NEVER too far down, the tummy is reserved as a treat for Christmas!
      Peep really does sometimes ignore me, but I do understand the need for space when depressed and upset. Still, a good cuddle and a bowl of cream and nip works wonders... well certainly for me it does! Purrs, ERin

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  15. You have a lovely tummy that is crying out to be tickled.
    Humans never understand or appreciate the gifts we go to so much trouble to get for them.

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    1. Thank you, it is one of my finer assets, for sure. But I do have to be in the mood for a tickle, and best done on a winter's evening with the fire going.... Peeps really do need to get into the feline way, and enjoy the gift of a mouse, a simple and honest pleasure. Or for something fancy you can have them lightly backed in nip crumb. Purrs ERin

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  16. Mouseholes for Dummies... LOVE IT!!! Bet there are peeps who be linin' up to buy that book. Cats would never need it. PURRS.

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    1. Yup, I think you're right. Pretty much all cats know how to run a mouse and mousehole, even those that don't would given a chance. Now peeps' they really do need guides for everything, even living together. Mouses!
      Purrs, Erin.

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  17. The mom would love to be able to rub that belly of yours, Erin. Nice selfie.

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    1. Thank you, I think your mom will be in quite a long queue by the sounds of it. Mouses! I'll be the most tickled cat in the county!
      Purrs, ERin

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  18. Romance! Ah Yes! Mes remembers when mes was young...
    Now mes leaves it up to the young cats.
    And Erin, that tummy made my Mommy want to snorggle a cat tummy! Mes had to hide under the sofa for a few minutes!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. HI Nellie, yes I remember it too, but now things have 'happened' I do not miss it, for sure. I think only the boys think it's fun, but if they had to look after kittens they'd think twice! Oh my, we cant have impromptu snorggles, that just won't do at all. Maybe I should have censored the image?

      Purrs for a wonderful week, my dear friend. Erin

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  19. Mee-you ERin gurl that iss one furabuluss *easy on* foto!
    LadyMum squeeled when shee saw yur curled toesiess.....shee all ways squeelss over curled toesiess, mew mew mew....
    Wishin you an yur furamillee a peecefull an good week.
    ~~~head rubsss~~~ Siddhartha Henry~~~

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    1. Aww, thank you, Siddhartha Henry, I tries my best to practice every week. Purrs
      I'm thinking of offering tickles for treats, do you think it will catch on?
      Purrs, ERin

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  20. Oh Erin, you are so adorable as always. We do have a question tho', what's a shrove? Is dat like a cross 'tween shrubs and a grove? Or is it Shrove Tuesday, as in some kinda celebration or holiday? We don't mean to sound so daft, but, well, guess we are. MOL Anyways, we could tell ya' all 'bout dat mushy stuffs. You know, we take after our mommy, so we're all smushy mushy girlys here. MOL Altho' we know luv comes in all forms and we have no doubt, you are luvved. And not just by your peep. We luv ya' too. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Thank you both. Well, you are right about Shrove Tuesday, and I had to look this up in the Kittipedia, but 'shrove' is the past tense of to 'shrive', which is to confess ones sins and then to be absolved of them. Shrove Tuesday was the last day before the start of lent (on the Wednesday) in which to do this, and thus also the last day to have a pig out on pancakes and mice before fasting over the Lent period. Personally I don't believe this applies to us cats so it will be business as usual on the mouse front... thats assuming the mice aren't celebrating Lent also, in which case I'll just have to wait! Hugs, Nose rubs and Purrs, ERin

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  21. We love reading mysteries so you should definitely give it a try! But your romance writing is divine too :)

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    1. Thank you, that really boosted my day. It is very nice to hear I have struck the right note with my writing, now as to mysteries, I shall start work straight away on the Case of the Missing Nip Mice!
      I think it could be a real winner!
      Purrs, ERin

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  22. Wow, Erin, you really know how to wax poetic! And your selfie is super wonderful!

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    1. Aww, thank you. I draw from life, and living with a peep. From out of the darkness I hope to draw light and love.... and at the very least a mouse or two!
      Purrs, ERin

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  23. Who WAS that tall, dark stranger? Electric blanket? You have one of those personally yours? WOW

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    1. Hmmm, I'm either not sure, or not telling! As to the electric blanket, well yes I do, though don't tell peep that else I'll have to explain all the hot flushes peep has as something other than the menopause! Purrs, ERin

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  24. Oh yes, it is quite clear how hard at work you've been in that selfie!

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    1. Proof positive, thank you. All I need now is more statements like that and I might be able to swing a couple of days off! Purrs, ERin

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  25. You look very sweet sound asleep with your belly furs showing Erin :)

    the critters in the cottage xo

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    1. Thank you, those floofy bits always raise a smile and the prospect of a tickle or two! Purrs, ERin

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  26. he he - such a romantic you are Erin!! I love the line-Whoever said romance was dead has clearly never known the joy of a warm mouse and a bowl of cream.

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    1. Thanks guys, I have a few like that, when I can remember them MOL. Have a nice week.
      Purrs, ERin

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  27. OMC that hanky panky stuff can be getting fun when you're on furresh nip, Erin...but I think your unconditional Love is really what counts. Now, here's a pawkiss right on your belly :D I also brought you some furresh nip. It's a little of what's left of my plants that started to bloom just the other day ;) Nipped Pawkisses for a Happy Week :) <3

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    1. Hi Binky, I does try to keep the panky down to a minimum around the Palace but do have to keep a close eye on peep just in case too much of the vino starts to flow. Oooh thanks for the pawkiss, it tickled! MOL
      Thanks for the nip too, I could do with a boost today, and fresh nip around here is so hard to come by, mainly due to peeps killing the last lot which actually may not have been nip at all!

      Purrs, ERin

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