****** Pained scream ******
Ooops! Sorry peep, slight miscalculation on the touchdown there, on your part that is. What you doing in that part of the bed? You're not usually THIS side of the bed at THIS time of day... er... night! I do hope my claw didn't make too much of cut? I had them especially sharpened to be supper efficient.
What's that you say? It's super rather than supper?
Well if you'll pardon me for saying, but I did mean supper, on account of me using these here claws to get supper. And it's absolutely no different to you using a fork to stab the film on that ready meal, which is I suppose because you, peep, can't catch anything unless it's packaged. At least my way is far more fun and eco friendly. Purrs
Anyways, at least the red sheet wont show the blood, I can't have the housekeeper thinking I've taken to mousing in bed!
Back on track, before your elbow interrupted my train of action, you do know you you're getting up EARLY, don't you? I mean and hour early than your usual time. In fact it's still nighttime, and you should be in bed asleep.
Me? Why am I still up?
Well for me night is day, and day night. I do most of my best work at night. The Shadow they called me when I was... OK I can't tell you what I was else or I'd have to, you know, the ultimate sanction... just ask that mouse last week..... ummm.... OK NOT the best choice. purrs
Night is by far the best time for mice, and sparrows by day. And of course I'm compiling this here blog as I work. I sits, I waits, I thinks, I spies out the mousie, AND I thinks about the blog. True multitasking if ever I saw it. Purrs
The photo shoot......Anyways if you're up, or at least thinking about getting up, you can sort out my morning menu, and then look at doing some work on my blog, AND I need some food setting for the Sunday Selfies photo shoot.
Alas David Bailey has had to cancel this weeks shoot. "David" I said, "No problem. Mario Testino has said he's in town to do Kate and Will, so will nip over when he can." I did want to invite them ALL over for the selfies and scones, but being a young family with kids things are a bit tight time wise at weekends, what with going shopping and doing the laundry etc. and there is also the expense of running the helicopter 7 days a week. Maybe next time. Purrs
What's that peep, ol' stumpy one? You've lost an hour? A whole hour, you say!
That seems more than a mite careless of you. Have you tried all the usual places, like the sock and knicker draw? I mean that's where I found the tin of sardines that escaped your last fishing trip!
On that subject, aren't you supposed to catch whole fish if you go fishing? Or is it nature has taken a radical step and evolved the pull ring can to aid the time short housewife and cut out the middleman?
OK so where did you last see this hour? Was it this week or last? ad which one was it? If its a small one, like one o'clock, then I bet we'll never find it. Those thin hours of the day see to fall down, through and into every nook and cranny you can imagine.
Maybe you used it already and have just forgotten about it? I'd say I do that too, to make you feel better, but I don't as we fine felines have an inbuilt calendar that counts for every bit of time and ensures we have a nap lined up to ensure best use. purrs
What was that? Springtime you say? What, do you mean it's fallen down the back of the sofa?
OH I see, daylight saving sort of spring time. Now why didn't you say that before! I was getting all excited about hunting down the back of that sofa, I did see a mouse run down that way last week!
OK, so this daylight saving, I take it you got a good rate of interest? I mean there's no point saving it unless you do.
Interest rates......WHAT! Nothing? So whats the point of that? I mean I'm not a charity you know. I can't afford to give my hours away willy nilly! And shouldn't you have asked me before giving my time away, I mean this is a democracy, and I do have the last word.
AND what hour was it? I hope you didn't give away a nice hour, one that had a sun puddle in it, or one that was premium hunting time. OR worse still, one that the chef serves up my teas. Mouses!
So who have you given it to? I do hope you said that you wanted it back in the same state as you lent it, and I want the same or better back in return. I hope it wasn't to a canine, I know they mean well, but I don't want it all chewed up!
Whats that peep, the Government have borrowed it? Haven't the got enough of their own, or is this some sort of new covert tax? I bet they'll be charging us for giving it back, or worse still frittering it away on fancy new Palaces of their own. We the public, your average Joe, Jane or Erin princesses just can't afford to do this. Mouths to feed and no financial support.
I'm going to complain to my MP, Member of Parliament or whatever she's called. It just won't do, not at all what the Great British public deserve. Peep, call my press secretary, and set up an appointment for next week.
OH, and if there isn't any spare time, I found an hour last autumn that I've been keeping for emergencies, you can use that!
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