Saturday, 10 June 2017

Bad news day....


No!

Really?

You mean?

What!

All day?

ALL DAY!

Are you sure that's not just the night light hours?

What!

ALL day, as in ALL of each and every one of the 24 hours, that sort of ALL day?

NO!


And that's every day of the year, all seven of them?

Surely it's every day as in every day minus weekdays, right?

WHAT! Including weekdays too. Is that even legal? MOUSES!

This is sure way worse than I could have imagined.

Hang on, is this an April fools joke? One of those horrible japes that peeps play on the gullible of your own kind and you have mistaken assumed I would appreciate too?

I mean if it is then I am so VERY not amused. In fact if good old Queen Victoria was with us she would no doubt be so VERY not amused they would have to change the expression!

Now look, I am just not set up to deal with this sort of bad news. I mean, it's not every day that this gets lumped on your plate, or in my case, in my food bowl. MOUSES!

Erm, on that point, peep ol' chunky chops, why do I, the Princess, get a bowl and you get a plate? A plate with fancy food and floral designs on no less, huh?

It's not that you can eat those food and floral things so I really don't know why they are there. I mean what's a poor cat to do, studiously licking the last bit off your... um... the plate only to find that said last piece was in fact a pattern. How embarrassing could that be.

Not that I would make such an error of social etiquette, no ma'am, I do have my standards to uphold and porridge is just not a cat thing. Useful as a wall paper adhesive or if you run out of mortar whilst building, but as a food it's a BIG nah!

Anyways, this news is just so unreasonable. Are you absolutely positive?

Is there no going back? Could you not reconsider? I mean think of my welfare and the stress on the Palace funds! I mean I can't provide the extra. Second jobs will need to be sought, cut backs made and fat trimmed. OK

And when I say trimmed I don't mean ME! NOT that I have anything to trim, it's all one hundred percent necessary insulation for the cold winter months spent in a draughty Palace. Anyways to get rid of it now, if there was an amount of IT, would be a real waste of all that cream you got me, and forced me to eat.

And the local cream economy needs our support, well mine at least. Ever since we started having that zero percent fat skimmed milk two cream cows have had to be let go and have now entered the job market.

I think they were hoping to enter the stock exchange as Traders, but alas that is a Bulls game, and I doubt they'll get on with those bears. All very sexist, male orientated if you ask me. They spend all their time bring up calfs and when they want to get to work all they get is Bull here, and Bear there.

Still, they are doing their best, which I dare say is better than you, peep. I mean you just can't go springing this sort of thing on a girl, it's like a divorce in reverse. MOUSES!

Is there no reasoning with you on this?

Maybe you could get a second opinion from a doctor?

Or one of those shrinks I hear so much about? Though I dare say we don't want you shrunk too much more, well around the waistline maybe, but definitely not around the head.

Now if you could get down to my size then I sure could do with some help mousing.

Hmm, you know it would have a cost saving too, in the food bill, and in new clothes. I understand there are some nice fashions in the dolls department. Purrs

And we could make better use of the furniture too. For starters I'd wouldn't have to sit on top of you in MY favourite chair, and I... erm... WE would have more space on the bed, though I would have to insist, politely, as I have the claws, that you keep to the edge of the mattress and the lumpy areas.

Yes definitely are some benefits there, but as to the other matter, I think NOT!

Surely there is something I can do, or say that will stop this lunacy. Whatever possessed you to do it? Have you no consideration for this dear little Princess.

And the trauma, what about that?

What do you mean, What about that? What I mean is, I will be taking a drop in my income, and have to put up with no end of hassle not to mention have to do extra patrols and start baby sitting duties.

I just can't see ANY upside to this at all. My contract says that me, sorry, I, will be here to run the Palace whilst you, peep, ol' aged one, go to the peep daycare/early learning centre. Its says NOTHING about this!

Right. I think we need to sit down and discuss this, Cat to peep, and see if we can come up with a solution.

Maybe it's just a midlife crisis? Or the hormones? Do you have any by the way, I mean I'm sure my consultant could give you an injection for that if you think it will help? Were you TNR by the way, you never said? OK best skip that, I can see it's confused you.

Give me reasons, give me something..... er... umm... now what's it called? Help me out here peep, it's something small and orange.... er... Got it! give me a tangerine reason WHY!

What's that peep, you are hoping to have more ME time? Oooh time for me huh? Time to better serve me and to enjoy life unfettered by social constraints of the everyday work pattern, and want to help me blog, at all hours of the night, to seek feline enlightenment, and to tread the path of the Princess Warrior, and Palace Keeper, huh?

Hmm, well I don't know.  But when you put it like that, retirement does seem like an option.

OK, if you are going down this route, that would sort of make you my apprentice wouldn't it, ol' paduan peep of mine, and you'd have to do what I told you when I told you, yes?

Well you will need to get your act together then. Just because you'll be retired doesn't mean you can stop in bed in the morning, no ma'am, I'll be expecting you up prompt at four AM to make my breakfast. And I'll be expecting you to get a job too, a retirement job to keep you out of my fur, except of course when you're brushing me. Purrs

Of course, all this extra training you will need will require extra supplies of cream and nip. I mean to walk in my footsteps will also require training in the nicer culinary arts, too!

There will have to be a lot of taste testing and paws on practical assessments throughout your apprenticeship, just to check you haven't forgotten anything, after all this is a life long skill you are learning. Purrs

What's that peepers? How longs the course for, you say?

Hmm, well I think it should be pro-rata cat to peep years.... so, if I do my sums right, I reckon five peep years should do, followed by a five year consolidation course then a five year refresher. What do you say?

Peep?

PEEP? Are you OK? you seem to have gone a strange shade.... or two. Best lie down for a bit, after you've served lunch that is, and sorted this short list of chores.

Really, I don't know, first day on the job and already angling for being signed off sick. Anyone would have thought I'd asked peep to do something strenuous, or something I wouldn't do myself. MOUSES!





                                                                    ~~~~~ Le Fin ~~~~~





It's Sunday Selfie time!



Please join me now as we enter the Sunday Selfies hosted by the fantastic 

Kitties Blue: XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, and Cooper Murphy, from The Cat on My Head blog 












The Sunday selfies is a wonderful weekly celebration of blogs and bloggers from across the world, and shares stories and pictures for others to enjoy. 


Why not join the fun, by adding the code, from our hosts, a link is on their page, and posting your own selfie.



This week, the publishers of Country Cat Magazine asked me to sit for a photo depicting what the best dressed Tuxedo Princesses will be wearing and doing this summer. 


I rather think this images captures the flavour, what do you think?


To see what all our pals have been up to this week, please click the links/images below, and enjoy the HOP!






49 comments:

  1. Oh dear sounds like you need new staff Princess Erin,xx Speedy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely Speedy, in fact the ad is going in the small adds section as we speak. I am hoping if I get a small peep that will give me more room on the bed, and I can pay pro-rata based on height....
      Purrs, ERin

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  2. No way Erin! Your Peep gets time to find himself, and part of that means good quality SLEEP. Then he can focus on actually really enjoying life not being a hamster on a treadmill!!

    Be reasonable, he's not THAT bad is he?????

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    Replies
    1. Oooh, a hamster sounds like fun. And a fit hamster could be excellent sport. How do I get peep to bring me one? or maybe 3 incas the others
      Purrs, ERin

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  3. Erin, the Princess, you are very funny. Sounds like you have everything under control. You all have a wonderful day.

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    Replies
    1. Hi. Yup I try to be in charge, alas peeps are just inclined to go off and ruin things. Still, we all have our crosses to bear, in my case it's an empty cream jug, an empty pantry, and an empty headed peep. I only have hopes of resolving two of those. MOL
      Purrs, ERin

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  4. Nice selfie, Erin. Gee, retirement sounds rather strenuous! :)

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes, around the Palace there are loads of things I need doing, but it's a marvellous way to keep fit and out of mischief too. I really ought to charge peep for the privilege, I mean peeps go to the gym and pay for that!
      Purrs, ERin

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  5. Oh my! Erin, you are so funny. We enjoyed reading this. The lady is envious of your peep and says it's good news. Your selfie is gorgeous! Country Cat Magazine is fortunate to have such well dressed tuxie on their cover.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, we had loads of fun writing this. If the photo is well received then I will go for the Autumn season photo too......... but what to wear?
      Purrs, ERin

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  6. ERin,
    Thank you for stopping by my blog. I think your selfies are pawsitively beautimouse.
    Zoe and Raja

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, it is a pleasure to stop by.
      Purrs, ERin

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  7. Oh mouses! Do you mean... NO.... RETIREMENT ???

    Remember when Hyacinth's husband took early retirement?

    MOUSES!

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    Replies
    1. "OH MY" is what peep said when he saw that and collapsed. Not sure what peep meant but once awake I shall have doing some chores. Just to break in gentle like. MOL
      Purrs, Erin

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    2. Yeah, let him take it one paw step at a time. purrs

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  8. Dang, the same thing is going to happen with my Dad at the end of the year, your peep beat him too it though. There will be no keeping them outta our furs! Congrats to the peep!!!

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    Replies
    1. We will have to trade notes on things to do, for them, not us. I just hope I can get onto the computer once it happens as I have premium work time during the day and get to use the really comfy chair for nap.... er.... my deliberations.
      Purrs, ERin

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  9. I love your selfie. And I think it is great your Peep will be home with you all the time to cater to your every whim. XO

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    Replies
    1. It's a great thought, but I'd rather the peep was out earning my cream money allowance and general sundry expenses, you know, claw sharpeners, masseur etc. Oh well, a girl can but dream...
      Purrs, Erin

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  10. Replies
    1. Thank you, one for the front page I think.... Hi Drama indeed, especially if peep falls asleep on the job. I have the Kraken lined up to give detention if things don't go ship shape pretty quick!
      Purrs ERin

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  11. Erin, we went through this about 10 months ago with the mom. Actually, it hasn't been too bad. Nice selfie this week, too.

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    1. Why thank you. I will be having some cards made up for when I make it to the big screen. Today a Palace, tomorrow tinsel town! ...... or MOLiwood as we call it.
      Purrs, ERin

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  12. Oh boy, Erin, just what you need. Someone looking over your shoulder 24/7. Great pics of you too.

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    Replies
    1. Tell me about it. I think I might just have to have a separate office built to get peace and quiet. Or I can get peep busy in the garden, and cleaning the moat. Now the latter could be very entertaining for me and the Kraken! MOL
      Purrs, ERin

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  13. Erin, peeps just don't have the same kind of fortitude as cats. Imagine being all ready to call in sick on the first day. MOL!

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    1. Yup, what can I say, kids these days, huh. I think the next few years will be mighty interesting and I will be sending peep on many training exercises too, to lose weight, and thus deliver my food more quickly.
      Purrs, ERin

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  14. Replies
    1. Hi. I do like being called pretty, makes my ears go all excited and proud, well whats left feel that way so I'm sure the rest do too. MOL
      Purrs, ERin.

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  15. ERin.....we dunno if we shuld say conga ratz ore knot; on de one paw peepz iz ther ta wait on ewe 25/8/366 N on de other; ya canna sneek any mor parteez in while heez gone.... inta de werk week ~~~~~~~ ☺☺♥♥

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    Replies
    1. I know, tell me about it! I will probably have to send the peep out to USA more often, or I can just fly over to you guys as I hear you have some wild parties going on especially around a Super Bowl night... I'm guessing thats when you fill a massive bowl with nip and cream, right?
      Purrs, ERin

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  16. Mee-you ERin Purrincess gurl yur BEEUTEEFULL....what luvley fotoss'!! You look berry dee-murr!
    ~~~head rubsss~~~ Siddhartha Henry~~~

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    Replies
    1. Aww thank you, that is just the look I wanted for the front cover. I will be having publicity shots done too, I think, for pawtographing and such like.
      Purrs, and head bumps. ERin

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  17. We're going through this now since Mom Paula retired!

    We are slowly reconnecting with our friends since Mom Paula retired and hope to see you more often.

    Truffle, Brulee, and Mom Paula
    http://sweetpurrfections.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad I'm not alone on this front then. I shall be nipping over for advice and also to get away from the peep if it all gets too much MOL
      ERin

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  18. You should at least let you peep go back to bed after he serves your breakfast. That's fair, right? He has to look forward to something in retirement!

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    1. I'm not sure peep really needs that much sleep, and I'm sure with practice peep could learn to sleep with an eye open, like I do, and that way can still do the work and do the shopping etc. Once one eye has slept, the other can have a dose. Sort of makes sense to me, economy of action, and value for money!
      Purrs, ERin

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  19. There could be advantages to your Peep being around all the time ... better service for one ... all night parties ... and you teaching him the zen of the cat. Hmmm ... now that I think of it, as a Princess with plenty of self-confidence, maybe you can teach him to believe that he's as incredible as the rest of us think he is :)

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    1. Hmm the whole party thing sounds really good but it would require a complete redo of the sleep pattern, that and many more mice to keep peep awake! Oh my don't say incredible to peep else I'll have another pay rise demand. It may be 50% of nothing but, but that is not the point.
      Purrs, ERin

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    2. Thank you for linking up to the Showcase!

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  20. We think you look gawjus Erin. and you're always da bestest dressed girly on our list. Retirement huh? Well now, dat's somethin' to enjoy. With da peep 'round all da time, you'll barely have to lift a paw...ever again. MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. Hi Dezi, hi Raena, that is mighty kind of you to say, but you two ladies are just as good looking as I and sure are at the top of my list. 24hr care is something to look forward to but I suspect I will end up doing a lot for peep too, which isn't what my contract says. Oh well, maybe if there was a union I could file a grievance?
      Purrs, ERin

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  21. Hmmmm....we wonder, does your peep realize exactly what he's gotten himself into? MOL

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    1. Well, if the peep doesn't then it's too late to turn back now as I've got the senior citizen bus pass all sorted, and that horrid smelling cream for the arthritis!
      Purrs, ERin

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  22. Hi there, Tucker here. I'm the somewhat portly but very handsome Alpha of The Tribe of Five. I must say I was shocked and dismayed at your announcement and I'm wondering if your staff is anti-free market or just anti cream. I tell you, it's so hard to get good help these days. Our purrrsonal assistant had the unmitigated gall to order me "reduced calorie" kibble from Chewy!

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    1. Yup I agree, it is just not right to be forced to give up the full strength cream... I mean its not as though I drink and drive. I do nip out and have a spot of the good stuff when peep isn't looking, but have to be very careful to remove all signs of my assignation at the dairy!
      Purrs, ERin

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  23. I'm sure retirement for have some benefits you'll enjoy!

    Thanks for joining in the Pet Blogger Showcase!

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  24. One simply can't find good help these days. I hope it turned around!

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    1. Well, I have the peep in training, and in five years time I should know! Mol
      Purrs, Erin

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