
What Ho, peep! You know it has been at least.... ooh.... minutes since my last meal...
And maybe 10 minutes since we last played a game.
Yup I thinks you really really ought to get that big... er... is there a nice way of describing that fat behind of yours on a family blog?
Hmm OK lets just say you really ought to get out of bed this instant and bring any large voluminous areas with you.
I mean a cat and Princess does not expect to be kept waiting for meals, or tickles, or in deed anything she desires.
For all the effort I put in to getting you up and dressed in the morning....
OK so I don't actually get you dressed, that would be silly and nigh on impossible on account of not having those opposable thumbs. But strikes me you don't have much success yourself with them, well not judging by the last time you went to work. Back to front and inside out, it's a miracle you got there and didn't get arrested by the nearest hospital for the clinically badly dressed!
You know they do put those name tags in them for a reason.
Yup, it says in bold lettering where you were made, your age range, the model/part number, and more importantly which part of the body it goes on.
Whats that peep? It DOESN'T show that?
OK granted the Made in Korea doesn't hold true, but the age range in the low teens is right, or is that your intelligence quota? Plus what is really good, is it says where to put them, on the waist, bust or shoe, though I am a bit concerned that they think you have 5 feet? clearly those Koreans have funny take on westerners?
As to the model number, I was sort of wondering if that was to do with a warranty or after sales spares?
No?
Shame that, I'd hoped we could get a replacement for the wobbly bits that have clearly gone wrong, or PX you for the sports model! I mean the magazines are all about have you can get a New Me these days and the new bodies you can get if you buy the right clothes.
Anyways, that said, you've wasted another 2 minutes of my time and I am now 12 minutes overdue for some fun.
Well I say I am overdue for some fun, but you do appreciate that I do this for your fun and mental stimulation....
Yup it's all about you. Even when you think I'm napping I am actually stimulating the "Awww" part of the brain and creating serotonin to flow and boost the happiness in your life. And once you are happy you stroke me and give me more treats and cream, and thus you feel good and go out and help others and buy more cream and treats.
Mind you the cream has been a bit sparse this week, probably means I need to nap more in an appealing fashion and dream walking. That's always good for a few Awwws.
Yup, we cats work 27 hours a day nine days a week and all we ask in return is a comfy bed, food, care and a ready supply of catnip, mice and cream. Cheap at nine times the price I say.
So then peep o' mine. why not give get to the tickling and make both of us happy?
What do you mean NOT YET. What can be so important that you can't spare the time to give little young me a tickle and a scratch, huh?
A cross word you say? Really? A cross word can get in the way of a good tickle? Are you mad? Everyone likes a good tickle and ear rub, like me for instance.
Whats that? You're stuck on a few clues huh?
Well I suppose, as solver of the P=NP mathematical conundrum, for which I still haven't had my prize, I do have a fair degree of skill with such matters.
I'm sure there isn't anything too difficult, after all you peeps only have 26 letters in the alphabet and half of those don't get used much.
OK fire away, whats the first clue?
****** Some time later...... ******

Yes it is.
What do you mean OH NO IT ISN'T
I tell you YES IT IS!
YES.
IT.
IS!!!
With a capital YES IT IS
Look, ol' junior crossword challenged one, the answer is CAT. It has to be.
It's a three letter word, first letter C and last T. I mean the clue says, "A child's bed." and so the answer has to be CAT.
A COT you say?
Well I still say CAT.
Now look peep, this is all a ruse to make you fill in the wrong word. You have to look deeper, trust me I have slept on enough of these crosswords to tell when I'm right or if I'm right.
But what you don't see is the connection. You are being lulled into thinking it, the answer, is COT but in reality the devious puzzle setter was actually thinking that cot is a cradle. And we all know that cats play cats cradle, and love to sleep IN cradles, ergo the answer is plainly CAT.
No buts or ifs or maybes, its CAT!
AND if I wanted to be picky, COT is the archaic form of COTTAGE and we all know the traditional cottage has a CAT! Usually black or TUX, ergo whichever way you look at it or come to it, CAT has to be the answer.
OK?
So put it in.
Right, next clue is 5 down, seven letter word for 'Superior'.
Hmm..... Erm..... Errr
HAH! They've got that one wrong, I think you need to colour one of those white squares black as the answer is definitely 6 letters, FELINE!
Whats that ol' sport? What do you mean it doesn't work that way!

And whats with all this crisscrossing them everywhere? It could save loads of time if they just listed them all across. Stands to reason they should be that way. It certainly would make it easier to find where to put the answers and could save a lot of those black squares being used needlessly when they could be put to better use, like on a chess board!
Whats that peep?
I'm missing the whole point? Erm....I don't think so, I'm fairly certain they were all there when I caught those mouses earlier.... In fact that's the answer to clue at 3 down, Evening meal, six letters. Answer: Mouses!
Now if you'll excuse me, I think my work is done here. Yup, and in the words of 9 Across, three letter word for 'The raised fibre of velvet' I'm off for a nap!
~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~
Cute selfie! And I like your take on crosswords.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I do like things simple, for my peep's sake that is. me I can rustle with all manner of scientific issues and natural problems and come out on top. MOL
DeletePurrs.
ERin
See this is why my mum doesn't do crossword....hehehe silly she says they are,xx Speedy
ReplyDeleteYay, I have support for my idea. I shall have an order made to ban all multidirectional puzzles... unless they're mice, of course as they naturally go in multi directions which is part of the fun. MOL
DeleteERin
Erin all my ROTUND human EVER does is KEEP ME waiting too!!! Won't show her this crossword either, she loves crosswords and I don't want to give her any enjoyment. Cody.
ReplyDeletecatchatwithcarenandcody
Oh my, yes best not encourage any extra unnecessary excitement. What you could do is redact the blog so she doesn't notice what its about. Maybe pretend it's about chess?
DeletePurrs
ERin
We say you earned that sleepy selfie, Princess Erin, after all your hard work in trying to keep your peep straightened out! :)
ReplyDeleteJan & the crew at Wag 'n Woof Pets
Straightening out such a lumpy peep is a full time job, for sure. Still if I walk up and down enough it will happen.... either that or the mattress will collapse. MOL
DeleteERin
That's a very cute selfie, Erin. Some day all humans will bow to our needs.
ReplyDeleteIt is only a question of time, and we cats have all the patience in the world... unless of course its about food....
DeleteERin
Well Princess, I think the instructional tags on the clothing is a darn good idea! Love that snoozing selfie girl!
ReplyDeleteHi Brian. Thank you, I was trying to dry myself off after a very heavy shower the night before. It's surprising how long these things take, and I told peep that much this morning at 2AM when I came in to say it was raining.
DeletePurrs
ERin
Erin you look as lovely as ever dear Princess.
ReplyDeleteOur Mom keeps us waiting too and we're not even royals!
Yup, it seems that this is a complaint across all countries. Now you'd have thought with the internet peeps would be wise to these things but I do declare that things are worse, and we cats have to put up with TV diners and being latchkey cats! Lets dig our claws in for change, but not too deep as I haven't had my late snack yet.Purrs.
DeleteERin
ERin
Cute selfie!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, I tried this week but somehow that whisker got away from my make up lady!
DeletePurrs. ERin
I sure hope no child uses a cat as a bed, that would be wrong. Sorry Erin, I have to agree with your Peep just this once. Great selfie :)XO
ReplyDeleteOh my, no, we don't want any kitten flattened by a child, though if the cat is big enough, and I do have some very BIG African relatives, all will be well.... For the cat at least! MOL
DeleteERin
I think you should be able to fill out a crossword puzzle any way you see fit, Erin!
ReplyDeleteThank you, I shall. It will mean I can get it done quicker and have more nap time and solve more pressing issues such as how to grow super size nip!
DeleteERin
Oh Erin, you always look your bestest. We think you are just gawjus. And we think you're right 'bout dat cross word too. Mommy luvs those things and likes to play ever chance she gets. Our pawrty got delayed, but it's still on.l Maybe by da time we get to it, we'll have some mouses to go with da cream fur ya'. Big hugs
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
Hi Raena, Hi Dezi. No worries, the best parties like the best mice, in town are always worth waiting for. MOL
DeleteYou all have a lovely time.
Purrs and head bumps. ERin
Your ideas could revolutionize crosswords, I think for the better. Having them all criss-crossy is just silly. And of course they should be all about cats! Nice selfie too :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. I think we have a possible winning product here, and could make enough funds to keep us in mice and cream for life, if not longer! I shall call the patent office straight away.
DeletePurrs. ERin
Oh my mouses, Erin. Who's crosser? You or the puzzle? I CAN'T BELIEVE your peep isn't lettin' you use the right answers. MOUSES!
ReplyDeleteAt this moment me! Or possibly 17 down, 6 letters, clue: unfed sea monster living in moat. Which reminds me I do need to order something so the Kraken can have her tea.
DeletePurrs ERin
Nice selfie, Erin. That's terrible that your peep makes you wait like that. Hey ... wait a minute ... OUR peeps make US wait, too! It's a conspiracy!
ReplyDeleteHeck, you too? Wow things are pretty bad..... maybe a letter to the Times willet it sorted... failing that maybe we could start an action group and go on strike? Equal rights, a fare days play for a fare days..... what is it we do again, besides rule the world?
DeletePurrs ERin
Your pictures are Purrincessly cute, your royal meowjestie and you are very good in crossword puzzles too, we can learn a lot of it :D Don't be to hard on your peep, I think she can't multitask like you ;) Pawkisses for a Happy Day and quick meals :) <3
ReplyDeleteThank you. Multi-tasking is something peeps really do need to get a grip on, that and getting dressed. MOL
DeleteOoh I love quick meals, way more fun than fast food!
Purrs and head bumps and paw kisses.
ERin
Yur Mum sayss 'cot' an you say 'kat' an that iss what meakess thee werld go 'round
ReplyDeleteERin Purrincess!! Oh an guess whose LadyMum not onlee putted undiess on backwerdss AND her Ca-pree pantss??? When shee tried to walk; shee found herself all 'bunchied uppy', mew mew mew.....mee thott shee was goin to end uppy on thee floor....
Wee REELLY have to keep an 'eye' on these Hu'manss ERin!
All yur fotoss' are gorgeeuss; inn fact, mee finkss yur BEST!!!
~~~head rubsss~~~ Siddhartha Henry~~~
Oooh now I thought it was a giant kitten playing with a ball of unending wool that made the world go round! You learn something new every day.
DeleteNow clearly capri pants have a lot to answer for. Maybe they need to have a front and back label in them too? My peeps have small holes in them, by way of guidance you understand, applied neatly by yours truly. Just takes a couple of sessions in the laundry basket and lasts a life time. MOL
ERin
Purrs
Luckily my mum doesn't do crosswords.
ReplyDeleteLove your selfie, very cute!
Purrs xx
Athena
Yup I think it is something to be avoided, if you can. If not try getting the peep to use a felt tipped pen to colour in all the unwanted down clues, makes it loads easier and a bit like a mandala. Two for the price of one. MOL
DeletePurrs. ERin
ERin, now that dad haz CUT inta CAT time we think him owez ewe a COT
ReplyDeleteaza way oh sayin SORRE oh N heerz sum mor CREEM anda MOUSE !!! ;) ♥♥♥
Now I couldn't have put it better myself, thank you. I shall write a missive right now and request my peep to deliver the compensation forthwith... or right away, whichever is sooner.
DeletePurrs. ERin
Oh Erin...you're a huge help with the cross words. ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you, I like to streamline things so the peep isn't taxed too much....... and thus get them done quickly so the peep can tend to my needs.
DeletePurrs. ERin
Honestly, crosswords can be really hard. Paul's are anyway. They would keep you busy for months!
ReplyDeleteOh tell me about it... the peep still hasn't got past achieving three clues answered. Real Sherlock homes mysteries they are. I think we'll have to wait till next week and see what the answers are and then fill it in..... looks way better when it goes for recycling. MOL
DeleteERin
I swear! We turn around for one moment, and those Peeps are off the rails! They need our help with EVERYTHING! That's a beautiful selfie, Erin ... truly beautiful!
ReplyDeleteYou mean, the peep needs RAILS! Like a stair lift? No wonder things go wrong so often, and would explain why the peep goes the circuitous route to the shops and takes ages! Thanks for the heads up, I shall have peep tied to the rails post haste. MOL
DeleteERin
PS If I can't find rails, would a set of skies do?
Humans are silly and efficient aren't they Erin, - creating "crosswords" with boxes that go all sorts of directions & boxes that get blackened out. Why do they bother with those games when they know that their time is better served serving us?! Kisses to you fine lady. -Valentine (& Mom) of Noir Kitty Mews
ReplyDeleteOh my yes, Valentine, we are in agreement there. I do sometimes wonder about them and their habits and hobbies that waste good grooming and petting and feeding time for us cats. One day they will catch on though and be content with what they have, namely us.
DeletePaw kisses to you and you, and your mom too.
ERin TCP, Princess of Mouses
Erin Darling, you sure have us humans figured out...has Nellie been visiting you in your dreams and giving you peeps lessons? It sure sounds like it! And Erin, Nellie will probably never stop blogging, she STILL has lots to say!
ReplyDeleteLove Barb
Erm... well, she has had a whisper in my ear every now and then, during the week. I did find her work book "1001 daily chores for your peep" most enlightening, and aim to get through it by the end of the month. I am so glad that Nellie will still be blogging as she truly is a most inspiring lady, and a true Queen if ever there were one, and the standard to which all should aspire.
DeleteGentle purrs
ERin
Oh Erin, you're so selfless playing with your human for HIS benefit and mental stimulation. You're just too kind!
ReplyDeleteWell the peep hasn't anyone else, so I think it only proper that I do something to entertain and help pass the waking hours... and the none waking hours too. MOL
DeleteERin
Checkin'... Checkin'... Just checkin'. I think you know what I mean. PURRS.
ReplyDelete