Four thousand nine hundred and ninety eight........Four thousand nine hundred and ninety nine........
Five thousand.
Finished!
Five thousand words!
Well I'm sure Google can't complain about that. If they like a long blog for SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) purposes then I think I can safely say I have it covered.
I think quite probably it's the best piece of work I've done to date, since my Rescued submission, and I reckon Tolstoy would have been proud, though by his standards I'm only five hundred and eighty-two thousand, two hundred and eighty-seven adrift. Still I don't want to put people off.
Whats that peep? What do you mean he's dead?
Tolstoy?
Tolstoy is DEAD! Wow that was sudden, I was only just reading his blog on the Kindle, last night!
Poor man, I best send some nip flowers and a selection of cream cheeses to his wife and family. Oh and send a missive to Napoleonic Ambassador in London, that unless they cease hostilities I'll impose a trade embargo on that smelly cheese of theirs and not buy any more.
OK so I admit I don't actually buy any, but should I buy some in future I won't, and I'll demand a refund too, in triplicate. That will teach 'em!
Anyways back to the matter at paw.
When they say five thousand words for SEO on Google, maybe its like the changing of the century, and it's not a new century until you get the thousand and oneth. Maybe what I need to do is add one extra one word, after all I don't want to ruin the ship or my Google ranking for a Ha'p'orth of tar, now do I!
Mind you, this isn't a ship, and whilst we do have a moat, I don't think the Kraken will be happy me going around shoving tar in all her nooks, crannies and along her split seams!
On second thoughts I'll add another two words, the second can keep the first company, or in case the first gets lost. You can never quite tell where some of those words disappear to. Many a time I've hit the ESC button and things vanish.
What's that ol' wobbly peep o' mine?
Really? Well no wonder things keep vanishing if they put an ESCape key on the keyboard.There was me thinking ESC stood for Erin's Special Cream! No wonder it never turned up. I best send an email to Apple to cancel my last ten missives of complaint about missing words..... and then I can send another complaining that there's no key to order cream!
Right best add the two words, but what could I use? 'The End' is too final and it surely isn't the end of the blog. 'To be continued' is a favourite but that really gets over used these days, especially in the movies.
I'll add 'Cream Cheese', that will get the old taste buds going and add to the flavour of the post.
So, what's five thousand plus one more and another one? That makes..... ah..... hmmm..... er..... I've got it! Five thousand and eleven!
That still doesn't seem a lot, I mean that's less than one per cent margin of error, not that I make any but we do need to be accurate in our leeways! I best check the exchange rate and see if when I change it to pence, rather than cents, it looks any better.
Eeek! That's even worse! According to the exchange rates at the moment, those five thousand words in US are only worth three thousand seven hundred and eighty two and point seven four in the UK!
That means I'm well short of what I need for UK Google. And what of the parts of words? I hadn't figured on a 'point seven four' of a word.
What to do, what to do indeed?
Hmm, well I could add an extra twelve hundred and seventeen words, and a few abbreviations like y'all and ol' bean, that should do it.
But maybe that's too much of a margin. I definitely don't want to ruin the blog by over egging the custard. Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind over creaming things but too many eggs is not on. No ma'am, that would never do and have the hens in uproar about wastage and they'd threaten a stand up strike!
I think I have it! I could make the words bigger, thus take up more word space. That way they'll still be five thousand and eleven US words but in UK they'll expand and fill up the page despite the conversion rate. I could put it down to market forces and inflation.
What's that ol' peep of mine? You think this is too long for a blog?
I'll have you know that this is the very latest way to get noticed on the web, having a BIG SEO is right up there at the top of the page of things to do...... in fact as the blog title it IS right at the top of the page!
Now the tile's done I can work on the Facebook and Twitter post too.
Whats that peep? Twitters one hundred and forty characters you say? Really? Would that be a hundred and forty characters less than five thousand?
It isn't, huh?
Hmm do you think I could maybe just squeeze this one down to very small print? Or maybe they have a leeway.... of about four thousand eight hundred and sixty?They don't, huh?
Botheration.... Ok so maybe five thousand and eleven words is more of a dawn chorus than a tweet, but still it's not very sociable of them. I shall send them a missive complaining and asking them to up there tweets to five thousand.... and eleven.
Oh well I really do need to get on with the blog post itself, but so far all I've come up with is;- How I wrote the perfect SEO heading for Google. I mean whose going to read that, it's barely enough for a title let alone a post!
~~~~~ The End ~~~~~
And now for a Sunday Selfie......
I am joining the Sunday Selfies, hosted by the fantastic Kitties Blue: XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, and Cooper Murphy, from The Cat on My Head blog The Sunday Selfies is a wonderful weekly celebration of blogs and bloggers from across the world, and shares stories and pictures for others to enjoy.
Why not join the fun by adding the code from our hosts, (a link is on their page) and posting your own selfie. It really is that easy....
Oh Erin this is the best yet! Brilliantly done!
ReplyDeleteLove the picture too, that admin gets the best of me sometimes.
Marjorie and Harvey
PS Sienna is doing OK
Thank you. I think I may have to outsource some of the admin work... maybe to the peep in the garden shed! MOL
DeleteGlad to known Sienna is getting back to herself too.
Gentle purrs
ERin
MOL Erin, dat sudoku can be eggsaustin!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, especially if you try to do them upside down!
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
We don't know anything about SEOs, but #1 says that 5000 is a lot of words!
ReplyDeletePurrs,
The Chans
Seems like I got it wrong and it's 500 words. Still, even losing a zero it's a lot to write. The peep says I'll be ok as I waffle a lot... I'm not sure what the peep means as I have never liked or blogged about potatoes!
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
Wow, I didn't know there was an exchange rate on words! Learn something new every day. And what a cute selfie!
ReplyDeleteYes seems like there is some sort of free market trade thing going on at the moment... in fact we might have to start declaring words when we arrive at airports in the US!
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
We love your sleepy selfie today and definitely think you need a raise in pay!!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Jakey, Arty & Rosy
Aww thank you all. I shall put a request in to myself straight away... nothing outrageous maybe just an extra half hour a day nap and a half pint of cream per week. That should do for a bit and I can maybe award more for good behaviour and increased purr production. MOL
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
That is a lot of words, my posts are usually 250 so I guess they are not getting on any search engines. I think ESC should be for cream delivery. :) That is a beautiful selfie. XO
ReplyDeleteThank you Aunty Ellen, I was worn out but happy to have a paper to lay on with a nice puzzle to mull over as I slept. Actually the peep says it is 500 words not 5000 so you are nearer that than I ever am. MOL
DeleteToodle pip and gentle purrs
Erin
Nice selfie! I see you were thinking so hard, the rest of your body had to take a little rest. Excellent conservation of energy! And 5000 words is a lot of words! Yikes!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am glad you could see the pressure I was under. Willing those numbers into the little boxes isn't easy, still, I shall persist and get there in the end or nap trying MOL
DeleteI just hope they don't up the SEO figure else even I will be stuck and have to borrow some from Mr Tolstoy! He does have quite a few spare though !
Toodle pip and purrs
ERin
Oh Erin, you are so stinkin' adorable. You look so purretty and comfy there with dat "paperwork". MOL And, we luv your definition of the ESC button. We never use it, as mommy finds somethin' dauntin' 'bout escapin'. She's always askin' just what needs escapin' and from where. We do that's dat's fairly innerestin' 'bout the 5000 words fur a good SEO. To be honest, we never count our words, nor do we 'member to look at da automated counter at the bottom of our posty. Maybe makin' da words big will help. They sure do help mommy's old tired eyes. She kep makin' our font larger and larger so she could read to edit our posts. Maybe google's got old tired eyes like mommy does. Yep, dat's gotta be it. Hope you have a great week. Big hugs fur all.
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
Hi Dezi, hi Raena. Yup tired eyes will do it every time. I have upped the font size so the secretary can see it, in fact the secretary now has too screens so we can display two words at a time MOL
DeleteThank you. I do have a thing about sleeping on the newspaper, it is comforting I suppose and I am abreast of current affairs MOL
Toodle pip purrs and head bumps
ERin
It's all just too much for us to comprehend. Some say if a blog post is too long, it won't be read. But what if you have something to say and need more words? We want to write for our readers, not Google. Although maybe if Google was better about it, they'd only promote posts that related specifically to cats. That's something we'd be on board with! Purrs from the Zee/Zoey gang
ReplyDeleteFoe little ol' me who has a lot to say then too low a word limit is as bad as too high. Being all things to all peeps and cats and dogs and rabbits isn't easy for google, I can see why they struggle and want to improve but word length is not the way as it doesn't confirm quality.
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
Phew! I can see that all those words have exhausted you.
ReplyDeleteSure did. Some folks just can't see why I am tired all the time and all I can say is that they should try doing a sudoku without opposable thumbs! MOL
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
"Botherayshun"...what a furabuluss werd ERin Purrincess!! Yurr so clevurr! An you can do crossywerdss?? LadyMum has trubbull spellin her name...ok maybee not butt yur amazin. An yur bloggiess all wayss make us smile. An yur selfiess are wunderfull; just like YOU!
ReplyDelete**paw patsss** Siddhartha Henry xXx
Hi Prince Siddhartha Henry, I do use that word a lot around the Palace, that and "peep!" seem to coincide a lot. Ah well the secret to doing the crossword is to have a good nap preferably on top of the paper itself and the answers will sort of permeate their way through. Not 100% guaranteed but I'm working on it. MOL
DeleteToodle pip and purrs and pawpats
ERin
There is a limit to the words? Oh! My! Cod! I am happy that you, Princess Erin, have let me, Marvelous know. Now I will ensure that I write only 4500 words, that way if I need more, I will have 50 to work with!
ReplyDeleteAnd that picture of you on the snooze paper is totally priceless!
I love it
Purs,
Your secret admirer Marv
Ah now peep says that I got that wrong and it's actually 500 words which is a bit easier though I tend to run on a bit so I need to go on a word diet of find a better exchange rate MOL
DeleteOooh now I like the idea of a snooze paper.... I shall order some in directly that way I can be working at snoozing MOL
Toodle pip and purrs to a secret admirer called Marv
ERin
Erin, we're cats of few words...so we don't listen to Mr. Google at all. We don't worry about that SEO stuff either.
ReplyDeleteYou know less is more and can be as powerful as a lot. I think we'll just keep plodding along... though I have to say my latest project will be a blog in as few words as possible, a micro blog! Mouse size bite size pieces MOL
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
Do I understand you right? Google SEO wants us to paw out 5000 words in Ameowica...but hoomons have such a short attention span, they get ants in the pants just reading the blog title before rushing off to something else. I write my little heart out with my Sherlock Herms mysteries. But I don't see Google nosing around with this SEO stuff. Thanks for the info, Erin. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Herman *WAVES* Well I did get it slightly wrong it's actually 500 words they need to be highly rated. You sure do put a lot into your work and Mysteries and I would have thought you'd be OK. But I wonder how they do this SEO stuff and if it's like a mystery shopper thing?
DeleteAnyways I'm going try writing a shorter post, one with less words and see what happens, though I don't know what it is that will happen when it does, if it does? Oh dear I have a headache and need to have a nap!
Toodle pip and purrs
Erin
You poor dear...working your paws to the bone!
ReplyDeleteI know, and what thanks do I get? Not even a fresh bowl of cream or the answers to the crossword!
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
You mean, it doesn't? ESC doesn't stand for Erin's Special Cream? Are you sure about that? ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE? Could it possibly mean Escapades of Seville the Cat? Just checkin'. purrs
ReplyDeleteOooh can you image a hot key link straight to your blog!? I think that would be as much fun as the cream button. Of course there should be a Nip button proper as pressing the N one doesn't get me anything!
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
Erin
I'll bet Erin's Special Cream would be a top google search Princess! We love the way you do paperwork!
ReplyDeleteOooh a new brand, I make a mint in cream though mint cream may be a bit much... nip cream would be better!
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
Oh yeah. That word exchange rate will get you every time! So tricky.
ReplyDeleteAnd why CAN"T the ESC key be for Erin's Special Cream? That seems right to us.
Now I'm glad I'm not the only one finding exchange rates difficult.... I think we all need to speak the same language and have the same spellings and we'd be OK. I am drafting a missive as we type and arranging for a widget to be installed so I can have cream delivered straight from the dairy.... not sure how daisy the cow is going to read my emails but I'll think of something. MOL
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
Wow, 5000 words is a lot of words ! Purrs
ReplyDeleteThe peep says I may have got that wrong and it's 500 words. Still that is an awful lot for a title. MOL
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
ERin....we canna count past five let a lone 5000 pluz give ore take sew yur doin WAY better N uz !!!!!!! we hope google makez ya CEO oh de companee for thiz SEO post coz we think ya dee servez it !! total lee awesum selfee by de way; we bet valentinez a swoonin ~~~~~ ☺☺☺♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteHi guys. Don't tell anyone but I can't either but I have a calculator that can MOL
DeleteOooh CEO sounds really important, I'll take the job so long as I can have cream breaks and nap breaks and nip breaks... oh and holiday pay too, and plus days off to make up for the public holidays I'll be forced to take...
Do you think Valentine will like the picture? I hope it's not too risqué of me?
Toodle pip and purrs
ERin
Love your selfie! So cute :)
ReplyDeletePurrs xx
Athena and Marie
Thank you, I does try my best to show the glamorous side of office work! MOL
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
Holey CowKittiness, 5000 and eleven that's a whole book, Erin...at least more than we have written in the six years of my blogging carreer...😹😹 Your Selfie looks just puŕrfect...and still keeping an eye on letters...Pawsome! Pawkisses for a wonderful week ahead😽❤😻
ReplyDeleteHi Binky! Yup I think maybe I could have written a library by now but by google standards I'm just getting going!
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin
Well, there is a book that I have not read. And, Moby Dick. You are quite the adorable on, ERin. xo
ReplyDeleteI haven't read either of those, maybe there is an abridged insomniacs version I can listen to for when peeps snoring gets too loud MOL
DeleteToodle pip and pawkisses
Erin
So many different opinions are confusing for us bloggers. I've seen figures for ideal lengths from 250 words to 5000!!! In the time of Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, they were paid by the word (that explains A LOT). It seems like now, people like short and sweet. I admit my attention span's been affected too.
ReplyDeletePardon? Oh sorry my attention span is quite short.... MOL Joking aside it isn't a joke and some peeps can't read beyond a line. Hmm maybe if Tolstoy had written his work say with eight words per lines it would have gone down better!
DeleteToodle pip and purrs
ERin