What Ho, peep! You know it has been at least.... ooh.... minutes since my last meal...
And maybe 10 minutes since we last played a game.
Yup I thinks you really really ought to get that big... er... is there a nice way of describing that fat behind of yours on a family blog?
Hmm OK lets just say you really ought to get out of bed this instant and bring any large voluminous areas with you.
I mean a cat and Princess does not expect to be kept waiting for meals, or tickles, or in deed anything she desires.
For all the effort I put in to getting you up and dressed in the morning....
OK so I don't actually get you dressed, that would be silly and nigh on impossible on account of not having those opposable thumbs. But strikes me you don't have much success yourself with them, well not judging by the last time you went to work. Back to front and inside out, it's a miracle you got there and didn't get arrested by the nearest hospital for the clinically badly dressed!
You know they do put those name tags in them for a reason.
Yup, it says in bold lettering where you were made, your age range, the model/part number, and more importantly which part of the body it goes on.
Whats that peep? It DOESN'T show that?
OK granted the Made in Korea doesn't hold true, but the age range in the low teens is right, or is that your intelligence quota? Plus what is really good, is it says where to put them, on the waist, bust or shoe, though I am a bit concerned that they think you have 5 feet? clearly those Koreans have funny take on westerners?
No?
Shame that, I'd hoped we could get a replacement for the wobbly bits that have clearly gone wrong, or PX you for the sports model! I mean the magazines are all about have you can get a New Me these days and the new bodies you can get if you buy the right clothes.
Anyways, that said, you've wasted another 2 minutes of my time and I am now 12 minutes overdue for some fun.
Well I say I am overdue for some fun, but you do appreciate that I do this for your fun and mental stimulation....
Yup it's all about you. Even when you think I'm napping I am actually stimulating the "Awww" part of the brain and creating serotonin to flow and boost the happiness in your life. And once you are happy you stroke me and give me more treats and cream, and thus you feel good and go out and help others and buy more cream and treats.
Mind you the cream has been a bit sparse this week, probably means I need to nap more in an appealing fashion and dream walking. That's always good for a few Awwws.
Yup, we cats work 27 hours a day nine days a week and all we ask in return is a comfy bed, food, care and a ready supply of catnip, mice and cream. Cheap at nine times the price I say.
So then peep o' mine. why not give get to the tickling and make both of us happy?
What do you mean NOT YET. What can be so important that you can't spare the time to give little young me a tickle and a scratch, huh?
A cross word you say? Really? A cross word can get in the way of a good tickle? Are you mad? Everyone likes a good tickle and ear rub, like me for instance.
Whats that? You're stuck on a few clues huh?
Well I suppose, as solver of the P=NP mathematical conundrum, for which I still haven't had my prize, I do have a fair degree of skill with such matters.
I'm sure there isn't anything too difficult, after all you peeps only have 26 letters in the alphabet and half of those don't get used much.
OK fire away, whats the first clue?
****** Some time later...... ******
Yes it is.
What do you mean OH NO IT ISN'T
I tell you YES IT IS!
YES.
IT.
IS!!!
With a capital YES IT IS
Look, ol' junior crossword challenged one, the answer is CAT. It has to be.
It's a three letter word, first letter C and last T. I mean the clue says, "A child's bed." and so the answer has to be CAT.
A COT you say?
Well I still say CAT.
Now look peep, this is all a ruse to make you fill in the wrong word. You have to look deeper, trust me I have slept on enough of these crosswords to tell when I'm right or if I'm right.
But what you don't see is the connection. You are being lulled into thinking it, the answer, is COT but in reality the devious puzzle setter was actually thinking that cot is a cradle. And we all know that cats play cats cradle, and love to sleep IN cradles, ergo the answer is plainly CAT.
No buts or ifs or maybes, its CAT!
AND if I wanted to be picky, COT is the archaic form of COTTAGE and we all know the traditional cottage has a CAT! Usually black or TUX, ergo whichever way you look at it or come to it, CAT has to be the answer.
OK?
So put it in.
Right, next clue is 5 down, seven letter word for 'Superior'.
Hmm..... Erm..... Errr
HAH! They've got that one wrong, I think you need to colour one of those white squares black as the answer is definitely 6 letters, FELINE!
Whats that ol' sport? What do you mean it doesn't work that way!
What is the point of doing this if you can't put in the answers that fit the clues?And whats with all this crisscrossing them everywhere? It could save loads of time if they just listed them all across. Stands to reason they should be that way. It certainly would make it easier to find where to put the answers and could save a lot of those black squares being used needlessly when they could be put to better use, like on a chess board!
Whats that peep?
I'm missing the whole point? Erm....I don't think so, I'm fairly certain they were all there when I caught those mouses earlier.... In fact that's the answer to clue at 3 down, Evening meal, six letters. Answer: Mouses!
Now if you'll excuse me, I think my work is done here. Yup, and in the words of 9 Across, three letter word for 'The raised fibre of velvet' I'm off for a nap!
~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~
It's Sunday Selfie time!
Please join me now as we enter the Sunday Selfies hosted by the fantastic
Kitties Blue: XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, and Cooper Murphy, from The Cat on My Head blog
The Sunday selfies is a wonderful weekly celebration of blogs and bloggers from across the world, and shares stories and pictures for others to enjoy.
Why not join the fun, by adding the code from our hosts, (a link is on their page) and posting your own selfie. It really is that easy.
Setting the iPhone to Sleepy Sunday Selfie mode, I have managed a few really nice shots. Here I can be seen giving my toes some TLC, as they deserve it.
Though it does pay to make sure you look your best before you go for your snooze, as there's no coming back from a crooked whisker once the camera has done its work! Fear not, I have an appointment later this week to have it straightened....
