Saturday, 24 June 2017

Push and pull!



Pull will you!


No, not that way, to me not you!

No hang on, that's not right, I mean to YOU not me. If it was to ME, and not you, that would be pushing. Unless of course you did it backwards. Nope I just can't see that working, more likely you'd fall over.

Nope stick with the first plan, and pull. On three.

One....

Two....

Three.... and pull!

PULL

PULL!

Oh my word. Look, how difficult is it to get this sorted?

No NOT right, don't go right. I didn't say go right did I!

Hmm OK so I did say right, but that right was as in an OK, right sort of way, and not a right as in left and right, right.... er... OK?

Now look peep ol' handed challenged one, when I said right you don't have to go right as I mean OK. OK?

Whats that peeps? What if I mean go right rather than right as in right OK?

Hmm, well I do think that is very unlikely, but should that unlike event come to pass I will probably say go left instead and get you to go all the way around till you get to the point going right would have got you to. Ok so this could have it's risks if going left when you were lying on the bed meant you fell out of bed and banged your head on the floor, but that is a risk I'm prepared to take. I'll just have to make sure I have the legs taken off the bed.

Now what we need to do is get you pulling, so put you back into it and push like a peep possessed by.... er... hmm, what has possessed you by the way?


 All this seems to have started since you retired? You've not gone all depressed on me have you?

Being depressed is not an option well not after TWO days. You really do have to work on things for a little bit longer before deciding to get depressed. It takes years of practice to become a true depressee.

No? Well glad to hear it. Being at home with me should be exactly what the Dr ordered, that and the sun. Just think with all the time we get together, you can be streaming the lawn, digging the beds. I do stress that, as I know what happened last time, you strimmed the beds and dug the lawn.

I mean it took ages to get things sorted with the NUM's (National Union of Moles) And the Bees were none to chuffed either. I mean it cost be a fortune in jars of honey to pay for loss of earnings, AND I had to open the jars for them, not easy without opposable thumbs I can tell you.

On the plus side, those holes added a certain new dimension to playing croquet. All it needs is a few plant pots put in the holes to stop the balls disappearing, and hey presto we have a new game. I had thought about patenting the idea, and calling it ' Snookered' but apparently someone has cornered the market on that already. Curses, another great idea ruined.

Still, it has given the moles a head start on the new Mole-cular multi tunnel subway they were planning around the Palace, and means I can start a toll booth at each end and raise some much needed funds for the Homeless Cats Cream Fund, of which I happen to be Chair Princess and Official Taster of Funds.

Anyways, if its not depression, is it the heat? I know you don't do well in anything above warm and go all puffy and red. If it wasn't for the fact that you don't have spines, last summer I could have sold you to that aquatic specialist as a very rare British Blowfish, I mean you even have the right mouth movements for a fish out of water, just like now.

Look, all this chatting just isn't getting to the bottom of things, now is it. I think you are just going to have to face the facts that whatever it is you are trying to do just isn't going to work whether it be push pull left or..... right.

What you're doing is just simply impossible, unlike the old saying of a quart of milk into a pint pot. I, as amateur algorythmist, solver of the P=NP problem, and solver of one of the oldest problems known to peep kind which is also the biggest money spinners to carpet cleaners, namely why toast lands on the butter side down, can safely say a quart into a pint is easy. All you have to do is drink from the pint as you pour from the quart. Simples!

But you, peep, you have set a new challenge, a challenge that has daunted peeps for eternity, namely margarine.

Whats that peep? It's nothing to do with margarine you say?

Well butter then. That sure does sound appropriate, you being currently the BUTT of the current humorous... er... this dilemma, get it?

Butt and Butter? Yes? No? Oh come on peepers, surely YOU can see the irony in that!

Whats that, ol' chubby one, Spread? It's SPREAD you say and NOT butter, or margarine.

Well I can see that, I mean that's the whole problem. Truth is, it's the spread and the slacking that's got you to be the peep you are today! Not enough exercise, And too much food, that doesn't help either, like all that cheese cake at Blog Paws...

Hang on, I know whats going on here, you've been looking at those pictures from the conference, the ones where you look, well lets just say there were folks taking bets on when the baby was due!

Let me guess, all this huffing and puffing is because you can't get into those there slacks. Well if I'd known that I wouldn't have bothered with all the pull or pushing. What this takes is a traditional bit of good old fashioned logic and plenty of exercise.

As of now you, ol' pre natal one, are on a new fitness regime. Off you go then, give me one hundred press ups, and downs and twice around the estate. Whilst your down towards the village you could call in and collect that one hundred weight of potatoes I ordered, and the weeks newspapers.

****** Some hours later....... ******

Well done peep, I'm really impressed, that is way quicker than I thought, and looks like you lost a few pounds too!

Well, lost a few pounds of potatoes that is, as there's a hole in that bag and I can see a trail leading down to the village!

Anyways now you're here, I don't suppose you saw the saw the washing machine repair girl on your travels?

You did? Good, maybe you could give her a call and ask her to call in when she's free. Looks like the washers stuck on boil wash again. Not been the same since before Blog Paws and has shrunk my favourite padded bed down to the size of a doughnut.

It just won't do for a princess to be seen not fitting into ones bed. Everyone will think I've been hitting the cream, or worse still had an affair and with kitten! And before you know it, it will be in all the tabloids, and some bright spark will be suggesting I go on a diet, or take up jogging.

Can you believe it, I mean who in there right mind would do that?



                                                        ~~~~~ The End ~~~~~




It's Sunday Selfie time!



Please join me now as we enter the Sunday Selfies hosted by the fantastic 

Kitties Blue: XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, and Cooper Murphy, from The Cat on My Head blog 












The Sunday selfies is a wonderful weekly celebration of blogs and bloggers from across the world, and shares stories and pictures for others to enjoy. 


Why not join the fun, by adding the code from our hosts, (a link is on their page) and posting your own selfie. It really is that easy.





This weeks selfie shows yours truly having a power nap.......

OK, OK so actually I set the timer wrong and before it went off I had dozed off into the land of nod... It was a lovely dream, alas the peep woke me to tell me I'd set the timer wrong. Don't you just hate it when that happens!

To see what all our pals have been up to this week, please click the links/images below, and enjoy the HOP!








48 comments:

  1. A faulty Washing machine shrinking everything is just no good Erin, your peep needs to hop to it to get it fixed,xx Speedy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe not just yet, I'm thinking I'll let the peep lose some of those ponds first and then change it. MOL
      Erin

      Delete
  2. Awww that is such a sweet selfie of you. Good job on trying to retrain your staff too. Keep at it and pretty soon staff will get it. But if your staff is as dense as mine, it could take weeks, so keep working on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, weeks huh, maybe I need another plan! I was rather hoping for something a bit quicker. No chance I suppose of trading ours in and sharing?
      Purrs, ERin

      Delete
  3. Oh dear... sounds like it's time for the peep to buy new slacks. I've found that the kind with an elastic waist is best. After all, it won't do to have your peep wasting hours of every day just trying to get dressed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my, extra clothes are definitely not going to happen else where will the fattening stop? Maybe I just need to put the peep into a country yokel smock? Or even cheaper, a coal sack. The latter has the distinct advantage of being waterproof too. MOL

      Delete
  4. You're looking mighty fine Princess! Tell your peep that my Dad is a little depressed because his retirement is still 6 months away LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, I am sure it will come far quicker than your peep would wish, especially in the run up to Christmas too. My peep hasn't had a moment spare thus far, and I really do wonder how we coped when the peep went to paid work?!
      Still when it happens it will I'm sure be such a relief for you all to have your peep there for 24/7 cuddles and nip.
      Erin

      Delete
  5. Erin,
    You are sure looking beautiful today. It sure sounds like there was a lot for you to contend with at your place.
    Yael fro PlayingInCatnip.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. A Princesses lot is not an easy one, never more so that the we have to heard the peeps.! Still they need us so we care.
      Erin

      Delete
  6. Oh my Princess you look so stunning in your selfie!! We too have problems getting our message through to our staff but our issue is not being fed more than 3 times a day. WE are opting for at least 4 but she is not listening to us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems like a common problem, this selective hearing. All I can suggest is persevere and if all else fails, bring home mice, and lots of them. The later the better works for me. MOL
      ERin

      Delete
  7. Tippy-kal of thee Peepss ERin!!! LadyMum doess that to mee all so....Hu'manss are weered sumtimess aren't they??
    Yur fotoss are thee best! Mee luvss thee 2nd one thee best; you look reegal.....
    ~~~head rubsss~~~ Siddhartha Henry~~~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, they just don't seem to know what they're doing half the time, and the other half they are just wondering about the first half. Thank you, I like that one, I was bird watching, which is my second favourite pursuit after cream eating ;) MOL
      Purrs and head bumps, Erin

      Delete
  8. Erin you look lovely as ever! And be gentle with your peep--i can empathize with her about how heat makes me feel!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, I does tries my best, but alas and, ahem, the heat took me into sleep. Now as for the peep, well I shall cut a little slack on account of getting the washer fixed. This time, but I'm expecting great things in this retirement, new extension, state of the art dairy. Nothing big to start with. MOL
      Erin

      Delete
  9. MOL we LOVE your selfie!!!

    The Florida Furkids

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, always best to show the rough with the smooth. MOL
      Rin

      Delete
  10. You could send your peep back down to the village ... he could just follow the potato trail, it appears. MOL!

    We like that fallen asleep selfie, Erin. It's snooze-tastic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, following those potatoes is a great idea. By the time peep gets to the shop, being rather slow, them potatoes will have grown a new crop! Peep could harvest them on the way home!
      MOL, I like that, snooze-tactic it is!
      Purrs, Erin

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. Thank you, not the most alert image I would have wanted but we went with the flow and I quite like it, 'A Princess at rest'.
      Purrs, ERin

      Delete
  12. Oh ERin, your selfie is just purrecious!!! 'Course, we always think you look adorable and , gawjus. As fur fittin' in dat bed thingy, y, just use da peeps bed. You'll look like a kitten in dat thing. 'Sides, mommy says anypawdy rude enuff to ask a lady, much less a princess, 'bout her age or weight deserves to be beheaded... what's dat mommy> Oh, sorry ERin, mommy says lied too, not beheaded. But Raena and me agree on da beheaded thing. MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe, now that is an excellent idea! I shall the bed moved straight away, and peep confined to the laundry room until the washing is done. Beheading is just what the gardener ordered last week, for a patch of unruly roses.... least I'm sure thats what he said?
      Big hugs and headlamps to you all.
      Purrs, Erin

      Delete
  13. We wrote a really long comment and it disappeared ERin??? So, this time, we'll just say, you look just purrecious in your selfie. We hope things get better. Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi guys, no worries, your mail made it through, and I'm the proud recipient of two emails from two very special pals.
      Purrs for a blessed week.
      Erin

      Delete
  14. Your washin' machine has been boilin' your washiin'? MOUSES!

    But you know... Even if your peep wasn't talkin' about spreadin' butter and such things, a little butter might help him get his boiled pants on. You know, until the washin' machine is fixed. purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, boiled pants and butter, huh. That might just catch on! Ah, peep just told me you didn't mean that as a lunch item. Never mind, another recipe out of my economy cook book. MOL
      Erin

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. Shrunk beds are definite no no in this Palace. I have a press exclusion zone around all of mine in case some things I've put weight on!
      Purrs, ERin

      Delete
  16. That selfie is adorable Erin. Sorry the washing machine is shrinking things- mine seems to do that too :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You too? Well I think I'll just have to get peep to have a cold wash in future, maybe with the clothes on so they stay in shape. MOL
      Purrs, Erin

      Delete
  17. Oh, Erin, I think anything better than shrinking mouseys, don't you agree ;) Your power...nap Selfie is adorable, I guess that was made after the pulling...MOL :D Double Pawkiss for a great day...*to Granny: better make that a week* Double Pawkiss to you :) <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Binky. I would scream if my mouses were shrunk any more than they are at present! I haven't seen one for ages, which I'm guessing makes them very small indeed!
      Purrs and Pawkisses, Erin

      Delete
  18. Such a cute selfie!

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

    ReplyDelete
  19. Erin, we like how you are getting your peep into shape! Great selfie too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, a regime has to be in place to help with this whole retirement thing. I am hoping that if I push hard enough peep will go back to work... If only, peace and quiet again...
      Erin

      Delete
  20. Your princess bed shrunk?! Oh dear! A princess needs a princess worthy throne - one that is ample in size so that m' ladies fur dressings don't get ruffled or wrinkled. And so that, you dear Erin, can have plenty of room to stretch your royal paws out and dream of fancy balls and parties. I think you should tell your human to break open the piggy coffers and send off for a new royal throne for your palace chamber. -Valentine (& Mom)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello! Valentine, my dear friend. I didn't recognise you there for a minute, how lovely to see you. Yes I do think that new throne is long overdue, and not just a recover. I don't alas have a piggy bank but I do have a cow creamer bank, will that do instead?
      Anyways, it will be some time before things are bad to normal here, so maybe I could jet over and pay you a visit, afternoon teas and naps?
      Purrs, head bumps to my BFF (Best Floofy Friend)
      ERin

      Delete
  21. We love your selfie, Erin! You really don't let your Peep get away with anything, do you? I ***ALMOST*** feel sorry for him.
    ps - He represented you perfectly at the Conference ... just saying. You should be proud!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Best to treat them mean to keep them... er... lean, I think thats how the expression goes?
      Purrs, ERin

      Delete
  22. Don't be too hard on your peep since retirement. Mom Paula went through depression for about 6 weeks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think my peep is too, it is all very strange. For me I need to get a grip for both of us.... I feel a migraine coming on, I'll just head off for some nip-prin tablets!
      Purrs, ERin

      Delete
  23. Just read your interview on Mousebreath! Wonderful! I always wondered about your ears and now I know! So glad you and your peep found each other!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, they are such cool cats to have a chat with.
      Purrs, Erin

      Delete
  24. ERin...we noe thiz commint haz nothin ta due with thiz post, but we just came frum mousebreath N wanted ta say yur interveews waz AWESUM !!!!!!!! ☺☺☺♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks guys. Really appreciate you dropping on by to say hello. It was such fun doing the interview, but alas there were no mice around to round off the day... maybe next time.
      Purrs, ERin

      Delete