The last thing this princess needs is to come home and find not only chaos where once there was tranquillity, but also an interloper!
Yup, either one of these things would be enough to floor the most conscientious for cats, and send them running for a draught of nip beer.
It all started just the other day.......
Hi yer dude, whats going down! Or in case you, ol' peep are not hanging with the chill crowd, and dig my lingo.... what are you doing?
Moving what and where to? I don't recall you saying you're moving out? It wasn't in the last budget meeting! I mean you just can't go doing that sort of thing without telling me!
There are things to do, like rent out your bed space, part time rental of course. I do have first dibs on all the comfy bits especially that hollow around the middle.
Whats that peep, you not moving you, just moving the bed. What, MY bed. You can't do that I......
OK, so you can do that, but why? I had just got that sun puddle how I like it, and heaven knows they are hard to find in this country.
With one fell act you have ruined my day. No really I think I may have to have a lie down....
Erm, peep, what you actually do with the bed? I mean all I can see is this humongous pile of paperwork old clothes and... ooh, would you look at that! Last time I saw that nip mouse was when I was practicing for the world famous Le Cats 30.
Whats that peep, ol' acceleration challenged one, you mean you've never heard of Le Cats! The Le Cats 30!
I mean it is famed around the globe, and beyond, I hear tell.
In fact every cat aspires to be in Le Cats 30. We all undertake rigorous practice sessions to reach the pinnacle of feline excellence and performance. And whilst we all may never be called to enter that great race, if the time comes or if a circumstance demands, we use this training for the good of others, for peeps. Mild mannered feline to hunter killer and protector in a flash!
Just look at Tara the Cat, whom saved her four year old peep from that hound! Yup, that is what it is all about, be it to help others, or self improvement, like yogurt is to you....
Whats that peep? YOGA you say, really?
I thought you always say that this yogurt improves your inner transit speed and well being, and you do tend to cogitate a lot in the bathroom.
Ooops, well moving on, this being a family blog and all, its like YOGA is to you. Meditation of the finer things like ones claws and fur, or spacial anomalies and their relation to why them nip mice keep vanishing. That sort of thing, and it keeps us cats keen and ready.
Hmm, clearly this isn't actually sinking in. What I need is an allergy... er... sorry, I meant an analogy to describe the whole thing.
Best I can come up with is.....
****** Some 30 minutes later........ ******
Well I thought the parable of the cat carrying the old mouse on it's head, across a river of cream, was way better than your peep version, I mean who'd believe one called The Wacky Races, that was on Tv last night!
OK, so mine it doesn't really relate to speed, but it is all about the mind set. A whole life ethos and a dedication to the purity of Le Nap and being as one and should the need arise, to serve a higher good.
What's that ol' snail like one?
WHAT? As though I would! That higher good I referred to was not... er... would not, in a purely hypothetical context, have anything to do with your new stash of nip on the top shelf of the pantry, that mysteriously vanished last week.
What do you mean and the weeks before? I didn't have those, granted if I had known it was there I may have thought about it, but one bag is enough for this Princess. Erm.... That is speaking hypothetically, of course.
Anyway, I've spent the last thirty minutes trying to explain about the Le Cats 30, the whole ethos and legend and all you can come up with is a blank freckled face!
Surely this means something to you, peep, rings some sort of bell? I mean I have been known to undertake full training sessions around this very Palace itself. Though as I'm in peak physical performance and a regular hunter, I usual don't overdo my training, quick bursts are all that's needed, between naps that is.
Oh well, I do think I'm wasting my time around here..... Anyone would think all you saw was us having a mad half hour!
After all it stands to reason a cat doesn't waste energy and nap time on stupid games.... I mean who'd be thinking a thing like that?
~~~~~~ Le Fin ~~~~~~