Order, ORDER!

It's Sunday Selfie time & Story!

Join me this week, as we participate in the Sunday Selfies, hosted by the fabulous Kitties Blue from The Cat on My Head blog.

This is a lovely showcase of blogs and bloggers from across the globe, and brings fun love adventure and friendship to many.


My selfies this week show me practicing my whole body alignment training. 

To those new to this revolutionary system, the aim is to get ones head legs and tail to align in sleep and thus make us harmonised, and even better when we wake. 

As you can see I had a little bit of an issue with that hind leg, but it is early days so I shall undertake more and dedicated training sessions (outside of the normal naps) and work on it.

Why not try it yourself, I think you'll find it's very relaxing....

To see what other fun things my pals have been up to, please click the links below.

I hope you'll enjoy this weeks story too....

Order, ORDER!

"Order.

ORDER

ORRRRRRDER!!

Really Ladies, I have never heard so much discord over a mere trifle!

Last year was bad enough, over the sponge and what filling we should have, but a TRIFLE? Come on now, this isn't the White House or UK Parliament where we spit abuse at each other and send incoherent social media messages.

This is the WI, the Women's Institute, for heavens sake, and we.....

YES, Mrs Ben-gal, what is?

OH?

OK. Our esteemed Secretary has rightly pointed out, FYI, we are the sub branch of the WI, namely the FWI the Feline Woman's Institute. Thank you, Mrs Ben-gal, please minute that, FYI FWI not WI, AOK.

Now where was I?

Ah yes? Ladies, fine felines, we are the FWI and.....

What's that Ms Coon? Do you have a question or are you just scratching your ear? I do hope you took that flea treatment I suggested? You did, that's good so if you have a question you need to raise a paw.

Ah, thank you. The chair recognises Ms Coon, well it should as my memory isn't that bad. What is it dear?

The litter box? Oh, umm, yes just use the one in the corner, and remember to wipe your paws! It took the cleaner ages to get that icing sugar off the polished floors after our last soiree.

But to be fair, no one realised that the caterer had supplied grey mice dusted with sugar instead of the white mice specified. Poor things were so hyped up on the sugar we had to send them to run it off under the house keeper's bed! Poor Mrs Hudson, she was not amused when they nested in her stockings.

OK, as I was saying, ladies, we run the country, and the back bone of the community and the pillars of society. We give the public tradition and premium content. We DO NOT flimflam folk with artificial ingredients or modern fillings.

Nor do freely fling flans at each other at committee meetings, Ms T Abbie, like last year! There will be no flimflam or free flowing flung flans whilst I'm in charge. And try saying that after a bowl of nip soup. Mouses!

The contents of the flan are quite another issue but I dare say the rules can be interpreted to allow for modern trends, i.e. Silvervine in preference nip.

NOW. I mean to finish this pre Easter meeting before we get to Easter, so if we can all settle down.....

Miss Tuxeledo! I know the FWI embrace the younger generation, after all your kittens will be the next generation of members, but I must ask that you leave breast feeding till after the meeting. All the slurping sound is making me thirsty.

Right as to this trifling trifle. Ladies I propose that to resolve this issue we have a taste test. Mrs Manx will make the sponge in pink, and Madame LaPerm will be making the golden yellow sponge. I am sure we'll enjoy the fruits of their labour and next week.

One final note, please don't be tempted to use any of these alternative milk products or substitute creams. Frankly we need to put our paws down and demand fresh cream. Whipped is OK, but not out of the can as that is far too gassy. Believe me I have experience in the GAS department here at the Palace from the staff. Whilst it's a great renewable energy, methane is not desirable in or indeed out of ones guests...... especially near open flames!

If the your chefs quibble at the choice of ingredients, just remind them we are obligate carnivores and obligate creamivores. All natural ingredients if you please ladies.

Ms Simian! Aby, please. I know you are a working mum, and on the go three maybe four hours a day, but please do not bring snacks to the committee table. We'll be finishing soon so you can indulge in a little mouse play then. But for now please keep a paw on that mouse, or swallow. Thank you.

Right, moving on to the rest of the fayre for the fair and what stands we will be having. Mrs Toni Kinese, sends her apologies for tonight, but says she will run the Tom-bola stand with prizes for all tickets that contain a nine. She just needs to find some more toms who are willing to be bola'd!

Ms Mason and her brother, Seville, have said they'll happily whisk over from Nova Scotia and run the Premium Pick 'n' Mix cheese and Nip stand. It was such a huge hit with everyone last year, I think we may have to limit the size of the bags, and provide a break out area for those in need of a sit down.

Right what I need, are volunteers for the following attractions:-

1) The Glitter Ball and spoon race.

2) The five legged race.

3) The box race.

4) Pin the tail on the mouse. Always a favourite with the kittens.

5) The Edam cheese shy.

The Shooting gallery this year has been kindly donated by Bionic Basil and the B Team from their very own practice range, and promises to be extra fun. It will however be for the adults only on account of using tanks and live ammunition. And whilst I don't anticipate any issues, I have put the neighbours on alert in case they need to evacuate

Ok ladies I think that about wraps it up for this meeting.  On next weeks agenda is how we at the FWI can help outlying felines who do not have Internet connection. One suggestion has been made that we should have a FWI-WIFI Hot Spot. If anyone can think of something a little less risqué then please do bring it along.

Now tea and nip scones with double cream are served in the small study where one of our new member, a Miss Pura Singh will enchant us with her singing and a rendition of Verdi's Requiem for a Mouse.

Whats that Ms Ben-gal?

OH OK, I see. Right an apology and correction from this Chair. Our new member is named Miss Sing-A-Pura and is from Singapore, and not India. Also she'll not be singing. She will however be demonstrating the art of making stir fry nip-noodles, mouse and cheese dumplings, and by all accounts a rather feisty Singapore Nip Sling.

Miss Simian, I don't suppose you have a spare mouse do you, as mine's just run out!"



                                  ~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~


I hope you enjoyed this extract from my weeks events. Please do feel free to leave a comment on the way home, flan, cream or mouse based most welcome.

Erin FWI Chaircat and Chief of Everything.....